just another thing
I think I have TMJ or something like it. Yesterday, the right side of my jaw was a little stiff. I thought little of it, and that it would go away. Today it was worse. It feels okay sometimes, but suddenly I'll try to close my jaw all the way and it's mildly painfully. But just that side. And 20 minutes ago, I had both sides of my jaw clicking and popping and ewwwww. Still no pain or stiffness on the left side *knock on wood* This is kind of freaking me out. I'm under a lot of stress at work - although it's kind of lessening now. Lots of other emotional things have been gnawing at me. I suppose I may have been clenching my teeth without knowing it? I don't know, I don't know. I'm falling apart.
My mandible just feels out of whack. Someone fix it. Now.
In other news, a really good friend wrote me a letter the other day (handwritten and all) professing his feelings for me. Tragically, I cannot reciprocate. And it is tragic, b/c some of things he said are exactly what I think I need in my life. But I cannot reciprocate. Two hours ago I told him that I cannot reciprocate. And I cried; not to him, but I cried. I cry far too often and far too easily these days. And I don't know why I'm telling anyone that fact.
I just made dinner. It's 11:15pm. I'm not sure if I'm actually going to eat it at this time of night. I have to go to sleep soon. I'm not sleeping "enough" and I have the Operetta rehearsal tomorrow at 10:30am. Then xmas shopping. Haven't even thought about that yet, goddamnit. I haven't cleaned my apartment in a month. Haven't had a day off in 11 days, been working 12-15 hours a day. I know it's not as much as some people work, but I guess I can't handle it. The newest person my company hired is quitting Jan 1st. She's miserable at Griggs-Lang... and it's Griggs' fault, and she may tell him so. *shrug* Maybe she can't take a shred of criticism... but then again, Paul is a dick. We'll be down to 4 geologists again, a CAD tech, and the two bosses. I need a hug.
My dad's initials are TMJ.
My mandible just feels out of whack. Someone fix it. Now.
In other news, a really good friend wrote me a letter the other day (handwritten and all) professing his feelings for me. Tragically, I cannot reciprocate. And it is tragic, b/c some of things he said are exactly what I think I need in my life. But I cannot reciprocate. Two hours ago I told him that I cannot reciprocate. And I cried; not to him, but I cried. I cry far too often and far too easily these days. And I don't know why I'm telling anyone that fact.
I just made dinner. It's 11:15pm. I'm not sure if I'm actually going to eat it at this time of night. I have to go to sleep soon. I'm not sleeping "enough" and I have the Operetta rehearsal tomorrow at 10:30am. Then xmas shopping. Haven't even thought about that yet, goddamnit. I haven't cleaned my apartment in a month. Haven't had a day off in 11 days, been working 12-15 hours a day. I know it's not as much as some people work, but I guess I can't handle it. The newest person my company hired is quitting Jan 1st. She's miserable at Griggs-Lang... and it's Griggs' fault, and she may tell him so. *shrug* Maybe she can't take a shred of criticism... but then again, Paul is a dick. We'll be down to 4 geologists again, a CAD tech, and the two bosses. I need a hug.
My dad's initials are TMJ.