My thoughts watching the Season 4 True Blood Premiere
Watching the Season 3 quick summary before the episode begins - Man, S3 was terrible. Thanks for dredging up all those unwanted memories.
What? Man, Gary Cole is in everything!
So behind the scenes, fairyland is that Gorn ep of star trek with the goblin-elves from legend? With hadoukens! Somehow this doesn't scream production value to me...
Gary Cole has that glow... His body knows.
Uhp, and Gary Cole's dead. We have a tearful farewell with a character we've known 5 minutes. I know I'm sad.
Sookie cries. Walks home to see her crappy home remodeled very nicely. Cries more. This episode is action packed! Maybe the hadoukens will come back soon. I miss those already.
Yay! The story has flashforwarded. This is good to get out of the mess the writers got into at the end of Season 3.
Ok Jason be funny... Soon. Now would be good.
Oh and the bfs show up... cuz they just know when Sookie's back in town. Cuz... they're vampires?
Awww, Eric stayed faithful to Sookie even tho they never had a relationship. How sweet.
Eric the sheriff leaves cuz Bill says? What?
And Andy Bellefleur ladies and gentlemen! Pompous Andy is pompous.
Sookie: "Bill, you broke my heart an hour ago. Wait don't go..."
Oh, Pompous Andy is on V. How could you tell?
Lafayette! What the hair?!
Wiccan circle looks like a Lesbian drum circle.
Some witch: "It's like fishing. Cast your line into the dark." Sometimes you find a plot. Sometimes you don't. We certainly don't have one yet.
Aunt Petunia looks like she's constipated. Witching must stop you up.
Oh but she channels Stephen root so that's fun
Not feeling the serial killing baby. Why does Arlene need a storyline again?
Oh no. nonononono Not Tara. Noooooooooooooo!
And Tara does MMA now? Her whining would make me tap out.
Yay Jessica time! My eyeballs forgive these previous glimpses of Tara suckitude.
Oh no. What? Mommy and daddy are fighting :-(
Uggghhhh. Runny eggs. Hoyt, I wouldn't even pretend to eat that.
Aww ok they making up. Sexy time coming... Wait! No! Come back Jessica!
Sookie bonds with Jason blah blah. They moved from the kitchen table to the couch. Glad our main character shows progress this episode.
Hey it's Pam!
Eric calls his own action. Eric may be the most interesting vampire in the world. He may not always drink True Blood, but when he does he drinks Type AB positive.
Vampire stumping from our bfs. Ok, so vamps are more political now post King of Mississippi. Still not a plot. More of an interesting sidenote.
Noooooooooooo! Get Tara off screen, dammit!
Kill her in the alley for me, fellow girl fighter!
Oh... Making Tara lesbian doesn't help her appeal with me. Only squishy bloody death.
Guh. Glad that's over. Tara can face down perverted bums. She's soooo strong now. *eyeroll*
And finally we see Merlotte's. Is there a plot here? I'm guessing not.
Terry: "There ain't no boy version of Sookie." There was a girl version?
Lafayette: "Tara moved away..." The writers granted my wish! Now, can we stop cutting to her?
Poor Sam, the writers still haven't figured out what to do with you, have they?
Sookie wears that short a skirt and only gets part time? Losing your looks, Sook.
When did lafayette find his magic gift? When he was high? Tripping balls with Jesus? Different kind of magic I think. I don't see Lafayette staying with this very pushy chump for 13 months.
Jason got the crazy eyes! Andy needing a fix is gonna get old. Fast. Yup, it's old.
So Tommy lived huh? and with Hoyt's mom? (Ew) Again, does every actor on this show need a storyline? We only have 13 episodes. This ain't the Wheel of Time here people.
Again, lesbian Tara ain't gonna make me like her. And she lies to her gf.
Don't let Tara come to Atlanta! We have the Walking Dead here. I'll never get rid of her!
Lawyers and real estate. Thrilling and topical. Are we gonna get a plot here?
Did you forget Sookie reads minds? Cuz the writers sure do.
Yay Jessica dancing woo!
Makes sense Hoyt and Jess would go to Fangtasia
And Pam's here too. Close to my spin off show here... where's Eric and we're good?
A Pam and Jess scene? Awesome
Pam: "Tree with the plaid shirt." Ha!
Oooo Pam's a bad influence on Jessie. But I like Hoyt. I'm conflicted. We may have the semblance of a plot here. Just... you know... no action. At all. But evil predator Jess with an upset Hoyt in tow? I can watch that.
Hey, Sam's anger management meetings have nice dinners... And enables alcoholism. And horse shifting? Well whatever works.
And the writers remember the werejaguars Jason adopted! Great, everybody get screen time.
Oh something like action happening! Cut away from that fast!
So Jason's stuck in a fridge. Tune in next week to see how that pans out! The writers will address it 52 minutes in and give it 30 seconds to play out. I betcha they just let him out. Just playing right?
This whole episode is emo.
Seriously emo.
Minerva? And witches? Please not another maenad. She wasn't all that great either.
Lafayette brings the electric bugaloo to the circle. Witches control dead things. Gotcha. They'll probably control our vampires this season, but let's not get ahead of the writers. That's probably Episode 8 or 9 this season before we get there. *eyeroll*
Bill is the king of Mississippi Louisiana? How the heck did that happen? I liked Evan Rachel Wood tho. Boo. Is Bill even old/powerful enough? ow Eric's deference makes sense at least... And in cahoots with the nerdy librarian witch. Why would a vampire need a witch spy?
Alexander Skarsgård knows how to deliver an "Unnhh" just so. Kudos. Ladies liked that.
Sookie: "How much of your blood is still in me?" Uhh....
Eric owns Sookie's house. Hahaha
Welp, I have to say this episode is a mess. Nothing happened and we have a "storyline" for every character we've ever seen on the show for 5 minutes. Except Gary Cole, they just killed him. There is nothing here to make you tune in next week (or the whole season) unless you care Jason's in a fridge or you hope you see Eric Northman nekkid taking advantage of Sookie.
Our main character escaped Fairyland (where all we learned is people eat glowfruit and imagine pretty things) in 5 simple minutes with the help of granddaddy and rebel fairies (an idea not even remotely explained). Cried. Came home. Cried. Talked with Jason at a table and on a couch. Briefly saw her bfs. Got her job back (part-time) and yet is going to buy back her house(!) from Eric who seems to think Sookie is his kept woman now. Thrilling.