(no subject)
a day of surprises.
it started out as usual, me up before the sun and getting the barn chores done after a cup of coffee. after that i groomed the horses and turned them out for the day - all but the stallion, who still refuses to come into the barn. i'm learning him, though. he reminds me of me in a way. wary, skittish... afraid of pain. but i'm learning him.
after i was done with the horses, i went out to repair some of the fence. a few of the poles - like twenty of them - need to be replaced. easy enough in the summer, but now the ground is frozen and it takes a bit of work to get the post hole diggers through it. i worked on that until my bum hand forced me to stop. christ, after seven poles i couldn't even move it anymore. just ached too damn much. i decided to go to the barn roof and repair some shingles until dale, my boss, hollered up to me that he was heading into town and asked if i wanted to come along. hm. well, i did, but i had no money to spend since he said payday was friday and not a minute before. still, i could go with him and see the sights and maybe even do a little window shopping and make a list of what i'd get when i finally did get paid.
he said he was leaving in an hour or so, which should give me enough time to clean up. heh. his subtle way of saying i was a mess, all dirty and sweaty and most likely smelling worse than his horses.
so i did just that. made another pot of coffee, pretended that i had lunch, showered, and as i was sipping my coffee i thought about the mystery package in my drawer. since i had a good half hour to kill, i figured there was no time like the present. i lit a smoke, took a deep breath, and opened the envelope. inside was another envelope, one made for a letter, and a box.
letter first, of course. it was typed, with a scrawl of a signature and a post office box address on the bottom.
here's what it said:
gabe,
fitz called me as soon as he got your message that you were leaving chicago. it kinda surprised me since we don't talk to each other at all and there's still some bad feelings between us. but he wanted to know what he should do. find you and stop you, or let you go since you'd left a long time ago anyway. i told him it was something we should talk about face to face and i flew to chicago right away.
well, we talked and decided that since you made the choice to go it alone, we'd honor your wishes and let you go. if at some time you want to come back, i'll be here for ya. not sure about him, but i will be. don't matter that you don't remember me none or that you did your damn best to drive me away. i still love you and would give anything to have you back again. we all would. except you're dead now and if you came back all hell would break loose.
anyway, fitz said he still had some stuff of yours. all of it, actually, but you left without it so he didn't think you wanted it, but he saved it just in case. there's more, but i don't think you want to hear it.
we talked a lot, gabe, and we figured you'd need some help. not from us, but from yourself. the man you were. the man who arranged for the new you just in case you lived. and since you did, we sent you what's in the box. when you open it up you'll see what i mean.
i know you don't ask for help and you'd refuse any charity. this ain't it, gabe. what's in there is yours. you earned it, you saved it, and you made sure that some how, some way it would get back to you if you ever needed it. now's that time, buddy.
i hope that someday you'll remember me and maybe talk to me again. but if not, i'll have my memories of us and that will have to do.
good luck in your new life, gabe. god, i hope you finally find the happiness you were always looking for. seems like every time you thought you had it, it got ripped away just like that.
i left an address in case you want to contact me for anything.
love you always,
kyle.
kyle. i don't remember him even if i do know who he is. and in hindsight, i think he was the man i saw at the hotel dropping off the package.
i try to remember, yet all i get is a headache and a feeling of apathy. i just don't care anymore. i wish i did, but it's impossible to care about something you have no memory of. but... where ever you are, kyle, thank you for thinking of me.
so i opened the box. inside was a wallet. my wallet. inside the wallet were the usual things: my driver's license, a credit card in my name - my new name of ben killington, a few pictures of children i can't remember, and money. lots and lots of money. over five grand, actually, and access to more if i need it. yep, and atm card with a pin number. once i quit shaking from shock, i called the bank for the balance of the account. it was staggering. for months i've been living all but on the streets, going hungry, damn near freezing to death, and in the meantime i'm a millionaire.
and that little fact won't change a thing, other than i don't have to worry about getting paid friday. i'm staying right here in my little barn apartment and i'm still going to work six days a week, ten hours a day. but i did splurge on some new, warm clothes and a new pair of boots, and groceries. god, i stocked up on the food! going hungry for months on end really changes how a person thinks.
i also picked up a little christmas tree and some ornaments, and three gifts. one for dale - some new leather work gloves and some pipe tobacco, one for liv's little boy - a rocking horse, and one for liv. that was very hard, thinking of something for her, but i got something i think she might like. it's a silver picture frame with spots for several photographs. she can use it for pics of her son.
i wrapped everything up in the prettiest paper i could find, and now i have presents under my tree. i hope all three can be delivered, but if not... at least i tried.
time to make dinner now. i got a steak and some salad, and mr. smith and i are going to dine in style tonight.
that is all.
it started out as usual, me up before the sun and getting the barn chores done after a cup of coffee. after that i groomed the horses and turned them out for the day - all but the stallion, who still refuses to come into the barn. i'm learning him, though. he reminds me of me in a way. wary, skittish... afraid of pain. but i'm learning him.
after i was done with the horses, i went out to repair some of the fence. a few of the poles - like twenty of them - need to be replaced. easy enough in the summer, but now the ground is frozen and it takes a bit of work to get the post hole diggers through it. i worked on that until my bum hand forced me to stop. christ, after seven poles i couldn't even move it anymore. just ached too damn much. i decided to go to the barn roof and repair some shingles until dale, my boss, hollered up to me that he was heading into town and asked if i wanted to come along. hm. well, i did, but i had no money to spend since he said payday was friday and not a minute before. still, i could go with him and see the sights and maybe even do a little window shopping and make a list of what i'd get when i finally did get paid.
he said he was leaving in an hour or so, which should give me enough time to clean up. heh. his subtle way of saying i was a mess, all dirty and sweaty and most likely smelling worse than his horses.
so i did just that. made another pot of coffee, pretended that i had lunch, showered, and as i was sipping my coffee i thought about the mystery package in my drawer. since i had a good half hour to kill, i figured there was no time like the present. i lit a smoke, took a deep breath, and opened the envelope. inside was another envelope, one made for a letter, and a box.
letter first, of course. it was typed, with a scrawl of a signature and a post office box address on the bottom.
here's what it said:
gabe,
fitz called me as soon as he got your message that you were leaving chicago. it kinda surprised me since we don't talk to each other at all and there's still some bad feelings between us. but he wanted to know what he should do. find you and stop you, or let you go since you'd left a long time ago anyway. i told him it was something we should talk about face to face and i flew to chicago right away.
well, we talked and decided that since you made the choice to go it alone, we'd honor your wishes and let you go. if at some time you want to come back, i'll be here for ya. not sure about him, but i will be. don't matter that you don't remember me none or that you did your damn best to drive me away. i still love you and would give anything to have you back again. we all would. except you're dead now and if you came back all hell would break loose.
anyway, fitz said he still had some stuff of yours. all of it, actually, but you left without it so he didn't think you wanted it, but he saved it just in case. there's more, but i don't think you want to hear it.
we talked a lot, gabe, and we figured you'd need some help. not from us, but from yourself. the man you were. the man who arranged for the new you just in case you lived. and since you did, we sent you what's in the box. when you open it up you'll see what i mean.
i know you don't ask for help and you'd refuse any charity. this ain't it, gabe. what's in there is yours. you earned it, you saved it, and you made sure that some how, some way it would get back to you if you ever needed it. now's that time, buddy.
i hope that someday you'll remember me and maybe talk to me again. but if not, i'll have my memories of us and that will have to do.
good luck in your new life, gabe. god, i hope you finally find the happiness you were always looking for. seems like every time you thought you had it, it got ripped away just like that.
i left an address in case you want to contact me for anything.
love you always,
kyle.
kyle. i don't remember him even if i do know who he is. and in hindsight, i think he was the man i saw at the hotel dropping off the package.
i try to remember, yet all i get is a headache and a feeling of apathy. i just don't care anymore. i wish i did, but it's impossible to care about something you have no memory of. but... where ever you are, kyle, thank you for thinking of me.
so i opened the box. inside was a wallet. my wallet. inside the wallet were the usual things: my driver's license, a credit card in my name - my new name of ben killington, a few pictures of children i can't remember, and money. lots and lots of money. over five grand, actually, and access to more if i need it. yep, and atm card with a pin number. once i quit shaking from shock, i called the bank for the balance of the account. it was staggering. for months i've been living all but on the streets, going hungry, damn near freezing to death, and in the meantime i'm a millionaire.
and that little fact won't change a thing, other than i don't have to worry about getting paid friday. i'm staying right here in my little barn apartment and i'm still going to work six days a week, ten hours a day. but i did splurge on some new, warm clothes and a new pair of boots, and groceries. god, i stocked up on the food! going hungry for months on end really changes how a person thinks.
i also picked up a little christmas tree and some ornaments, and three gifts. one for dale - some new leather work gloves and some pipe tobacco, one for liv's little boy - a rocking horse, and one for liv. that was very hard, thinking of something for her, but i got something i think she might like. it's a silver picture frame with spots for several photographs. she can use it for pics of her son.
i wrapped everything up in the prettiest paper i could find, and now i have presents under my tree. i hope all three can be delivered, but if not... at least i tried.
time to make dinner now. i got a steak and some salad, and mr. smith and i are going to dine in style tonight.
that is all.