Linguistics is Satanic Nonsense!
Obviously. It stands to reason.
We all know that the different human languages were imposed on us when God had one of his characteristic divine hissy fits (for which we love and fear him dearly) and destroyed the Tower of Babel. It was a punishment on those overweening Old Testament folks who had the temerity to try and get close to Him. God doesn't like people trying to get close to Him. I imagine the Freudians would probably say that he was badly potty trained. Anyway...
We all know, because the inerrant Bibble tells us so, that all and every human language is the result of an act of special creaton by the celestial biggun. To assert otherwise is to invite someone to tie you to a large lump of wood and set fire to you. And yet...
And yet, there are some lunatic 'scientists' who assert that languages change and develop over time. These 'linguists' might, for instance, explain the deveopment of Afrikaans as follows: Dutch speakers in the seventeenth century migrated from the Netherlands to the area now know as South Africa: being, as they were, relatively isolated from other Dutch speakers, the language developed along its own lines: the meanings of some words amongst the two linguistic populations diverged; possibly, different words were dropped from the general vocaublary; conditions in the two regions were different, different neologisms were coined in due course; in the case of Afrikaans, they were surrounded by different languages from Dutch speakers in Europe, they had different sources of loan words. You might say that Afrikaans evolved as a result of adaptation to local circumstances.
And that is the point: we are supposed to believe that Afrikaans EVOLVED from Dutch. Evolved?!
Answer me this then: if Afrikaans evolved from Dutch, how come there are still Dutch speakers alive in the world now?
Obviously, linguistics is bollocks because there are Dutch speakers.