Should be sleeping... Why am I not sleeping?
B/c my brain is still on overdrive... that's why.
It's day 7 of 8 as single-parent (with Weasel2000 overseas for work). Overall the week has gone well. It's been a lot of work, but it's gone well. I was pleased with myself. Went out to run errands this morning, it all went great. Then this afternoon happened.
The Dumpling has had a cold, that's nothing new, he has had a number of them. Today he had a cough. Al day. At first, I thought nothing of it. I get a cough at the end of colds too. I hoped it was a sign he was getting better. This afternoon though, I realized he was breathing harder than he should be. It made me worry enough to call the nurse's line at our doctor's office. Long story short, there was a trip to RightTime Medical, a breathing treatment and Rxs for more breathing treatments, antibiotics, and steroids.
Dumpling did not have dinner until nearly 9pm. Bedtime at 10pm. The good news is he seems to be sleeping well and his breathing is much much easier than when I took him in. I did the right thing. But I didn't eat dinner myself until after he went to bed. My house (which was clean) somehow became a wreck within the span of 4 hours between morning errands and afternoon trip to the doc. I've straightened up most of it, but I'm still not feeling like settleing down to sleep. Trying to talk myself out of peeking in to check on Dumpling? (Again?)
Throughout the whole evening. There were a hundred times when I caught myself thinking - "this would be a hell of a lot easier if I had another adult here with me." Bear in mind, I am not blaming Weasel2000 for his absence, that couldn't be helped, but it made me think of all the people I know who are single parents. E-gad how do they do it? Trying to wrangle a restless 1.5 year old in a doctor's office while me and my (damaged) brain are trying to complete the 1,000,000 pages of check in forms (made all the slower b/c I have to stop and look up things like my spouse's SSN). Trucking over to the pharmacy to pick up the prescribed meds. Hauling the pooped and hungry child in to drop off the Rx, over to pick up take-out for dinner, then back to pick up the Rx (at the drive through, which was a mistake... would have been faster to unload him and take him in). But if there were 2 of us, one could have taken him on home to get some food in him and start getting him settled for the evening... To all of the parents who do this every single day, whether by choice or by circumstance... I salute you.
Sigh, and did I mention the renewed waves of embarrassment I felt as I apologized over and over again b/c, no, I was not yet done filling out those check in forms? How much I didn't want to ask for help? Yet how relieved I was when it was finally offered? I thought I was past that (and I thought I was doing well enough that my (slower than before, but now functional) reading speed wasn't that big a deal (except when it comes to trying to read subtitles? I know, I know. The important thing is that the Dumpling is ok. All this stuff is ancillary, but it's there. Can't make it not be.
Nearly midnight now. I need to go to bed. I'm going to regret it if I don't. (I'm probably going to regret it already anyway.) Maybe having purged some of this from my system will help me sleep. (After I look in on the Dumpling). (Again).
It's day 7 of 8 as single-parent (with Weasel2000 overseas for work). Overall the week has gone well. It's been a lot of work, but it's gone well. I was pleased with myself. Went out to run errands this morning, it all went great. Then this afternoon happened.
The Dumpling has had a cold, that's nothing new, he has had a number of them. Today he had a cough. Al day. At first, I thought nothing of it. I get a cough at the end of colds too. I hoped it was a sign he was getting better. This afternoon though, I realized he was breathing harder than he should be. It made me worry enough to call the nurse's line at our doctor's office. Long story short, there was a trip to RightTime Medical, a breathing treatment and Rxs for more breathing treatments, antibiotics, and steroids.
Dumpling did not have dinner until nearly 9pm. Bedtime at 10pm. The good news is he seems to be sleeping well and his breathing is much much easier than when I took him in. I did the right thing. But I didn't eat dinner myself until after he went to bed. My house (which was clean) somehow became a wreck within the span of 4 hours between morning errands and afternoon trip to the doc. I've straightened up most of it, but I'm still not feeling like settleing down to sleep. Trying to talk myself out of peeking in to check on Dumpling? (Again?)
Throughout the whole evening. There were a hundred times when I caught myself thinking - "this would be a hell of a lot easier if I had another adult here with me." Bear in mind, I am not blaming Weasel2000 for his absence, that couldn't be helped, but it made me think of all the people I know who are single parents. E-gad how do they do it? Trying to wrangle a restless 1.5 year old in a doctor's office while me and my (damaged) brain are trying to complete the 1,000,000 pages of check in forms (made all the slower b/c I have to stop and look up things like my spouse's SSN). Trucking over to the pharmacy to pick up the prescribed meds. Hauling the pooped and hungry child in to drop off the Rx, over to pick up take-out for dinner, then back to pick up the Rx (at the drive through, which was a mistake... would have been faster to unload him and take him in). But if there were 2 of us, one could have taken him on home to get some food in him and start getting him settled for the evening... To all of the parents who do this every single day, whether by choice or by circumstance... I salute you.
Sigh, and did I mention the renewed waves of embarrassment I felt as I apologized over and over again b/c, no, I was not yet done filling out those check in forms? How much I didn't want to ask for help? Yet how relieved I was when it was finally offered? I thought I was past that (and I thought I was doing well enough that my (slower than before, but now functional) reading speed wasn't that big a deal (except when it comes to trying to read subtitles? I know, I know. The important thing is that the Dumpling is ok. All this stuff is ancillary, but it's there. Can't make it not be.
Nearly midnight now. I need to go to bed. I'm going to regret it if I don't. (I'm probably going to regret it already anyway.) Maybe having purged some of this from my system will help me sleep. (After I look in on the Dumpling). (Again).