Politics!!!
The Ultimate Politics Survey (swiped from 930_club)
Describe your stance on:
Abortion: That's how I would describe the ending to the John Travolta movie "Basic".
Affirmative Action: aka "Help a brotha out". Hey its cool. When white people become the new minority, I bet it won't exist cause no one likes a white man.
Age of Consent: is 14 in Tennesee. Just sayin'.
Animal Testing: Only SAT I. SAT II is far too cruel.
Death Penalty: Less inhuman than the Sudden Death Penatly Shootouts that are now the rule in FIFA.
Downloading Music/Movies: No, this is a horrible idea who does this kind of thing anyway. Some kind of monstaaarrrrrr.
Drug Decriminalization: Drugs are for hippies. Hippies are lame. Hippies smell bad.
Factory Farming: Only if the factories are not fed steroids and are killed humanely.
Free Trade: This is the kind of thing that Ralph Nader wants. But he is a douchebag. So no. That's right Ralph Nader, who is reading this thing right now, you are a douchebag!
Funding of Arts: More like Unding of Farts am i rite. Look, starving artists sell better when they die. If you fund artists, they won't die. So why depreciate art?
Gay Marriage: Every marriage I have been to has been kind of gay.
Gun Control: If you don't learn proper gun control, you might kill your sister/wife with any one of the small-nation level armory that the Constitution requires you to have.
Immigration: Better than emmigration. Nobody wants to eat Irish food, that's why you need Mexicans, Chinese, Indians, Italians, Thai, and Jews (for delis).
Hardcore Pornography: I saw your mom in a hardcore pornography one time. Lol.
Human Cloning: I don't know. That kid in Godsend is creepy. But on the other hand anything that would give the world more than one Nigella Lawson can't be a bad thing.
Miltary Draft: So the Scottish Regiment Guardsman said "Hey, can you feel a draft?"
Minimum Wage: Well that depends. If you are cool it should be like $100 an hour. If you are a square it should be like $5. Cause cool people rule :)
Prostitution: Pimpin' ain't easy. It will be harder if prostitution suddenly becomes illegal.
School Vouchers: I don't know what this is, but its safe to say that your mom is a school voucher.
Taxes: These are cool because they are kind of like death. And if you have seen "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey" you know death is pretty cool.
United Nations: I liked them better before they sold out. Also Dave Chapelle said that Kofi Annan sells fake hats in Times Square.
Universal Health Care: Taking care of sick aliens throughout the universe is a noble political goal.
War on Terrorism: This is what happens when you disband G I Joe. Bring back G I Joe you douchebags. Snake Eyes is gonna be like "Oh yeah Osama? How you gonna act? Bickety-bam sword in yo face foo!"
Welfare: All the politicans should have to live on welfare for a while and then they should decide if its enough or not. Also Micheal Moore, cause he can miss a meal or two.
Describe your stance on:
Abortion: That's how I would describe the ending to the John Travolta movie "Basic".
Affirmative Action: aka "Help a brotha out". Hey its cool. When white people become the new minority, I bet it won't exist cause no one likes a white man.
Age of Consent: is 14 in Tennesee. Just sayin'.
Animal Testing: Only SAT I. SAT II is far too cruel.
Death Penalty: Less inhuman than the Sudden Death Penatly Shootouts that are now the rule in FIFA.
Downloading Music/Movies: No, this is a horrible idea who does this kind of thing anyway. Some kind of monstaaarrrrrr.
Drug Decriminalization: Drugs are for hippies. Hippies are lame. Hippies smell bad.
Factory Farming: Only if the factories are not fed steroids and are killed humanely.
Free Trade: This is the kind of thing that Ralph Nader wants. But he is a douchebag. So no. That's right Ralph Nader, who is reading this thing right now, you are a douchebag!
Funding of Arts: More like Unding of Farts am i rite. Look, starving artists sell better when they die. If you fund artists, they won't die. So why depreciate art?
Gay Marriage: Every marriage I have been to has been kind of gay.
Gun Control: If you don't learn proper gun control, you might kill your sister/wife with any one of the small-nation level armory that the Constitution requires you to have.
Immigration: Better than emmigration. Nobody wants to eat Irish food, that's why you need Mexicans, Chinese, Indians, Italians, Thai, and Jews (for delis).
Hardcore Pornography: I saw your mom in a hardcore pornography one time. Lol.
Human Cloning: I don't know. That kid in Godsend is creepy. But on the other hand anything that would give the world more than one Nigella Lawson can't be a bad thing.
Miltary Draft: So the Scottish Regiment Guardsman said "Hey, can you feel a draft?"
Minimum Wage: Well that depends. If you are cool it should be like $100 an hour. If you are a square it should be like $5. Cause cool people rule :)
Prostitution: Pimpin' ain't easy. It will be harder if prostitution suddenly becomes illegal.
School Vouchers: I don't know what this is, but its safe to say that your mom is a school voucher.
Taxes: These are cool because they are kind of like death. And if you have seen "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey" you know death is pretty cool.
United Nations: I liked them better before they sold out. Also Dave Chapelle said that Kofi Annan sells fake hats in Times Square.
Universal Health Care: Taking care of sick aliens throughout the universe is a noble political goal.
War on Terrorism: This is what happens when you disband G I Joe. Bring back G I Joe you douchebags. Snake Eyes is gonna be like "Oh yeah Osama? How you gonna act? Bickety-bam sword in yo face foo!"
Welfare: All the politicans should have to live on welfare for a while and then they should decide if its enough or not. Also Micheal Moore, cause he can miss a meal or two.