today is a paramount day!
today i feel very different than i have the past week.
today i feel ambitious and like i have direction. today i feel able.
i do not know exactly where it is i want to go in life. i do know that i am capable of discovering it fairly quickly. it is a good thing, too, because i am sort of at that time where you need to at least have a dream you plan on pursuing, even if you do change it later.
maybe it is just exactly how i have been feeling lately, actually. only clear?
i feel very angry at some aspects of my life. be it attitudes i have encountered and accepted, opportunities that have sort of been ignored, whatever. but it just feels good to know what to be upset with.
i am writing this down so that i can hold myself accountable later. i am taking control of my life beginning today.
if only you knew how scary it was to write that! it is out of me. i see it! i can't take it back in! even if i erase something. even if i ignore it. once something comes out of you, you just can't put it back in. and i know.
it will be very hard. i will have much to change. i am not even sure in what ways quite yet. i will by tomorrow. i will.
it is my turn to take care of me! it is my turn to make the decisions. no one else is doing it for me anymore! just because i do not have what i used to have in the way of support is no excuse! i have myself! i have my conscience! i have a spirit inside me! i am so much more than my bones and muscles and tissue and nerve endings and responses! i am too precious!
i could write a book the way i am feeling. i have to go meet my best friend at six. i will tell her what a hand she had in this!
i could write a book. i could be a great writer.
i could create something truly beautiful! many many somethings!
:)
and i will!
today i feel ambitious and like i have direction. today i feel able.
i do not know exactly where it is i want to go in life. i do know that i am capable of discovering it fairly quickly. it is a good thing, too, because i am sort of at that time where you need to at least have a dream you plan on pursuing, even if you do change it later.
maybe it is just exactly how i have been feeling lately, actually. only clear?
i feel very angry at some aspects of my life. be it attitudes i have encountered and accepted, opportunities that have sort of been ignored, whatever. but it just feels good to know what to be upset with.
i am writing this down so that i can hold myself accountable later. i am taking control of my life beginning today.
if only you knew how scary it was to write that! it is out of me. i see it! i can't take it back in! even if i erase something. even if i ignore it. once something comes out of you, you just can't put it back in. and i know.
it will be very hard. i will have much to change. i am not even sure in what ways quite yet. i will by tomorrow. i will.
it is my turn to take care of me! it is my turn to make the decisions. no one else is doing it for me anymore! just because i do not have what i used to have in the way of support is no excuse! i have myself! i have my conscience! i have a spirit inside me! i am so much more than my bones and muscles and tissue and nerve endings and responses! i am too precious!
i could write a book the way i am feeling. i have to go meet my best friend at six. i will tell her what a hand she had in this!
i could write a book. i could be a great writer.
i could create something truly beautiful! many many somethings!
:)
and i will!