*Greatest Quotes~
Hey~
So, I've decided to post some of my favorite quotes! I kinda collect quotes, so I have A LOT! I personally think that one sentence can mean even more than one whole paragraph.
This is not exactly a quote, but I think it's really funny!
~10 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I
know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my
crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and
change the channel manually..
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give
me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?” If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
10. When you’re obviously upset over something, and some person comes
up and ask you "Are you okay?" of course I'm not okay, does it look like
I'm okay to you? If you can’t say something that would make me feel a
whole lot better, then don’t say anything at all!
~Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
~Guys are like toilets... the good ones are taken, and the rest are full of crap.
~No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
~I'm not single... I am romantically challenged.
~Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to.
~Smile and the world smiles with you... laugh and they think you're on drugs.
~Anyone who says they're entirely sane is either lying or stupid.
~If you're not a hundred dollar bill, then not everyone is gonna like you.
~If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
~Everything is decided, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control.
~Never be too open-minded... your brain could fall out.
~ Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
~ Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
~ Junk is something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
~ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
~ You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because you're all the same.
~ I can't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.
~ If you’re not willing to look stupid, you don't deserve to be in love.
~The more you study, the more you know; the more you know, the more you forget; the more you forget, the less you know; so why bother studying?
~The best of friends must part.
~Education is hanging around until you've caught on.
~Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
~It isn’t that you can’t see the solution, it is that you can see the problem.
~Out of sight, out of mind.
~You find one piece of happiness in the world, and there is always someone trying to take it away.
~Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a good thing to say.
-We forget because we must, not because we will.
~Never trouble trouble, until trouble, troubles you.
~If you're gonna play dirty, make sure to get a clean getaway.
~Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other gold.
~Ever noticed the two upside down teardrops, make a broken heart?
~Help, my grades have fallen and they can't get up.
~Life’s journey is not to arrive safely at the grave, in a well preserved body, but rather skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit! What a ride!!
~There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it.
~I'm on a seafood diet, I see food, I eat it!
~Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
~When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
~God, you are so neutral! You wanna know what you are on the pH scale? That's right. 7.
~All the hot guys are mean, all the nice guys are ugly, all the hot-nice guys are gay.
~I disagree with all he says but I'll defend to death his right to say it.
~I think the whole glory of writing lies in the fact that it forces us out of ourselves and into the lives of others.
~On the other hand, you have different fingers.
~Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.
~The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
~It is just as impossible to hold back a good laughter as it is to hold back the tide. Both are forces of nature.
~The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
~Anyone who says only sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
~Sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the windshield
~I always wanted to be somebody, but I guess I should have been more specific
~The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
~Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
~Coffee, chocolate, men....some things are just better richer
~Immature love says 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you
~If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus one day because I never want to live a day without you.
~I said no to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen
~10 out of 10 people die. Don't take life so seriously
If you know some funny or memorable quotes, you can post yours here too!
So, I've decided to post some of my favorite quotes! I kinda collect quotes, so I have A LOT! I personally think that one sentence can mean even more than one whole paragraph.
This is not exactly a quote, but I think it's really funny!
~10 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I
know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my
crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and
change the channel manually..
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do
people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give
me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?” If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
10. When you’re obviously upset over something, and some person comes
up and ask you "Are you okay?" of course I'm not okay, does it look like
I'm okay to you? If you can’t say something that would make me feel a
whole lot better, then don’t say anything at all!
~Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
~Guys are like toilets... the good ones are taken, and the rest are full of crap.
~No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
~I'm not single... I am romantically challenged.
~Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to.
~Smile and the world smiles with you... laugh and they think you're on drugs.
~Anyone who says they're entirely sane is either lying or stupid.
~If you're not a hundred dollar bill, then not everyone is gonna like you.
~If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
~Everything is decided, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control.
~Never be too open-minded... your brain could fall out.
~ Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
~ Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
~ Junk is something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
~ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
~ You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because you're all the same.
~ I can't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.
~ If you’re not willing to look stupid, you don't deserve to be in love.
~The more you study, the more you know; the more you know, the more you forget; the more you forget, the less you know; so why bother studying?
~The best of friends must part.
~Education is hanging around until you've caught on.
~Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
~It isn’t that you can’t see the solution, it is that you can see the problem.
~Out of sight, out of mind.
~You find one piece of happiness in the world, and there is always someone trying to take it away.
~Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a good thing to say.
-We forget because we must, not because we will.
~Never trouble trouble, until trouble, troubles you.
~If you're gonna play dirty, make sure to get a clean getaway.
~Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other gold.
~Ever noticed the two upside down teardrops, make a broken heart?
~Help, my grades have fallen and they can't get up.
~Life’s journey is not to arrive safely at the grave, in a well preserved body, but rather skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit! What a ride!!
~There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it.
~I'm on a seafood diet, I see food, I eat it!
~Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
~When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
~God, you are so neutral! You wanna know what you are on the pH scale? That's right. 7.
~All the hot guys are mean, all the nice guys are ugly, all the hot-nice guys are gay.
~I disagree with all he says but I'll defend to death his right to say it.
~I think the whole glory of writing lies in the fact that it forces us out of ourselves and into the lives of others.
~On the other hand, you have different fingers.
~Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.
~The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
~It is just as impossible to hold back a good laughter as it is to hold back the tide. Both are forces of nature.
~The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
~Anyone who says only sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
~Sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the windshield
~I always wanted to be somebody, but I guess I should have been more specific
~The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
~Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
~Coffee, chocolate, men....some things are just better richer
~Immature love says 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you
~If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus one day because I never want to live a day without you.
~I said no to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen
~10 out of 10 people die. Don't take life so seriously
If you know some funny or memorable quotes, you can post yours here too!