(no subject)
...gods...
I so need a new job.
I started my graveyard shift tonight by sitting in the ER for an hour and a half babysitting an obnoxious drunk.
I don't need this kind of frustration. I think it's high time that I left it to someone else to deal with.
There were points where I was pretty sure he was going to lose it and try and deck me and the first thing that came to my mind was...how much more will this make my neck hurt?
That should not be my main worry when trying to keep an asshole on his best behavior. I'm all tense and angry now and it's been an hour since then and my neck hurts and I am tired of this. I have got to do something new. I'm just so glad I'm clearheaded and today wasn't a migrane day because I definitely couldn't have dealt with tonight on top of a migrane.
And now that I've remembered my password, I can vent again and no one will ever see or care because no one reads this and I can just be antisocial and separate and no one will even have a clue how pissed off I am at everything and..........I'm ranting.
*deep breath*
*sigh*
I think I'm depressed. But I'm not sure if it's me or if it's the meds I'm on. Though I was depressed before them...but that was because I was in pain. But before that...I can't remember if I was depressed then too. All I know is that right now I don't want to do anything or talk to anyone or even call my best friend and on my days off I sit in the dark at home and play video games or watch movies over and over again and feel absolutely no inclination to communicate with anyone or go anywhere. Supposedly those are signs of depression, I'm pretty sure.
Yesterday I actually left the house on my own...but that was just to go to the pharmacy. And I went to the bank and then picked up lunch and came home again even though my friend had left me a message to call her and go have lunch.
So what does that mean?
Does that mean I'm happy like this or something?
Because I don't want to do anything else.
And I don't want to have to explain that because I have no explanation beyond a shrug of shoulders and a "I dunno...".
*shrugs*
I dunno...
I so need a new job.
I started my graveyard shift tonight by sitting in the ER for an hour and a half babysitting an obnoxious drunk.
I don't need this kind of frustration. I think it's high time that I left it to someone else to deal with.
There were points where I was pretty sure he was going to lose it and try and deck me and the first thing that came to my mind was...how much more will this make my neck hurt?
That should not be my main worry when trying to keep an asshole on his best behavior. I'm all tense and angry now and it's been an hour since then and my neck hurts and I am tired of this. I have got to do something new. I'm just so glad I'm clearheaded and today wasn't a migrane day because I definitely couldn't have dealt with tonight on top of a migrane.
And now that I've remembered my password, I can vent again and no one will ever see or care because no one reads this and I can just be antisocial and separate and no one will even have a clue how pissed off I am at everything and..........I'm ranting.
*deep breath*
*sigh*
I think I'm depressed. But I'm not sure if it's me or if it's the meds I'm on. Though I was depressed before them...but that was because I was in pain. But before that...I can't remember if I was depressed then too. All I know is that right now I don't want to do anything or talk to anyone or even call my best friend and on my days off I sit in the dark at home and play video games or watch movies over and over again and feel absolutely no inclination to communicate with anyone or go anywhere. Supposedly those are signs of depression, I'm pretty sure.
Yesterday I actually left the house on my own...but that was just to go to the pharmacy. And I went to the bank and then picked up lunch and came home again even though my friend had left me a message to call her and go have lunch.
So what does that mean?
Does that mean I'm happy like this or something?
Because I don't want to do anything else.
And I don't want to have to explain that because I have no explanation beyond a shrug of shoulders and a "I dunno...".
*shrugs*
I dunno...