just a question?

[gently_falling]

when someone reacts to you mentioning that they may or may not have an illness, is it wrong for them to automatically say "oh thats bad"? was i over reating when i snapped at the two of them? i may have been but fuck isn't there a better way that they could say it? that is if they were meaning to be supportive?

Comments

[wood76]

It's hard to really comment on this b/c of how things kind of get lost in translation on the internet... as in, I don't know "how" they said that comment - was it sarcastically, rudely, just made as a regular comment, etc. But, I'll just assume that they said "oh that's bad" as a regular statement when you told them you might have an illness. I can relate to getting tired of how people react when I tell them about certain medical conditions - I definitely heard a lot of weird comments after the stroke, considering I'm in my 30's and that's just not a problem my friends/family have dealt with yet. But even though some of the comments I got were weird, they were all meant in a supportive way.

I'm not sure what medical condition you're facing right now (I hope you're doing ok!), but one thing I've learned over the years as serious medical stuff has come up in my life is that people in general don't know how to react when it comes to that stuff. Those that have been through serious medical conditions themselves typically react better, but in general it's hard for people to relate to this stuff.

To be honest, when I read your post I wasn't sure what was wrong with them saying "oh that's bad"... What was it about that comment that upset you? Was there more to the conversation that bothered you as well? I could totally be missing something here, especially since I wasn't a part of the conversation... Perhaps that was their way of acknowledging that you're possibly facing something serious, as opposed to them hearing their friend has the flu or whatever.

Either way, I'm sorry you're going through heatlh issues right now. If you don't mind me asking, what has been going on? I hope that whatever it is, they find answers for you and get you feeling better!

[wood76]

As I posted this I realized that my comment is like 10 times longer than your journal entry LOL! Sorry about the novel I just wrote you ;)

i hope i am making some sense i am running on no sleep

[gently_falling]

they are looking to see if I lupus or another auto immune disease. Right now my skin I don't know if they call it marbled but and I have rashes and my hands and feet turn colors but the biggest issue is the pain in all the joints etc. so I don't know meeting with the rheumatologist tomorrow to find out the results of the blood tests I had done. as far as how it was said I started off saying that I possibly have lupus and then the two of them (one) "that's bad" and the other said "yes that's really bad". I think it bothered me because one they solidified my fears I forgot to mention also that they told me how people die from this. these are all things I know already and when I mentioned this in group I guess I was hoping for something different something like "I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this, or if they knew someone, positive things that would have been helpful. I just didn't feel supportive just more scared than I was when I walked through the door. I don't know if this makes sense. I just needed support, I know the reality of this. it was said in a way that felt completely unsupportive almost like they forgot I was sitting there, like they weren't seeing me as a person sitting across from them it was as if they were reacting as if they were speaking to someone else about someone else. sorry to ramble I hope I am making some sense.