Just too tired of it all
He was the one, so I thought. Together we would be happy. Lives growing old together with a love that could not be broken. We would end together as we had come together in life. There would be no other that would become an obstacle to overcome
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Thank you for your concern but I think you may have misunderstood. He told me when he was leaving, when he knew that it wasn't going to work. I know this may difficult to understand, it was for me too for awhile, but the more I looked at it, I began to see what he meant.
He could have stayed, knowing his feelings had changed towards me, at the time he said he thought it best to go. The lies and deceit he could have piled onto me, knowing that he no longer cared in the same way, would have been devastating. The honesty and truth he gave me that day was a gift. For I have been lied to and used before. At least, he gave me my sense of dignity and my being intact. I didn't have to wonder why he left? Was it me? Did I do something that dishonored him? He could have given me a time of doubting my self worth and a string of untruths to make it easier for him. He didn't do that. A rare man, let alone my Dom.
I think for the first time, I was given a gift of the truth. Lies are so much easier to use to extract yourself from a relationship that was not working.
MY feelings and thoughts were; that we would be together always. He never said so to me. Yes, my heart hurt when he left, but not nearly with the gaping wound he could have left me with along with the self-doubt.
So I do look on it as a gift, and I do think of him as a man of honor and truth. He left me knowing, that as few as there may be, there are men, in all capacities who say they have honor and truth and hold it deeply. Instead of taking my trust and all that is supposed to come with it and abuse it. We both know, unfortunately, that even with "The Code" there are too many who don't abide by it. He did! For that I am grateful. For once in my life, I was given the truth. How can I denigrate that gift he left me with.
I am fine, more so than I might have been otherwise. So in the end, the end was a gift.
I hope all has been well with you. I have not been visiting here for awhile, but the time has come to return, for this is my outlet and where I have found friends, such as yourself. Thank you, my dear friend!
With much gratitude,
rose *Hugz*
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