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[gentleindiff]

i don't know what to do. my mom says if i have an "eating problem" she won't let me go back to scoool. ugh! i could fix this if i want to, but i want to fix it for msyelf not to appease someone else. otherwise i'll just relapse. and i don't want to fix it yet. it feels too good. i'm too successful. i need this. i need to keep my mind from mike and

Comments

[anonymous]

OK. I think I need to tell you my story in hopes that you will hear me. I want nothing more than to help someone else who has gone through this. I went away to college my freshman year. I loved it. I loved the freedom and the whole experience. I was borderline anorexic when I left but it worsened when I came home that summer. I had lost 40 lbs but was still 140 (a healthy weight) when I had a life threatening arrythmia (heart beat abnormality) caused by starving myself. I almost died and was in ICU for a week. My parents did not let me go back to college. I finiahed at a local college between hospitalizations for my anorexia. Let me tell you what Ilearned:
1. Losing weight did not make me feel better about my low self esteem
2. It doesnt matter if you are at a healthy weight- a month or for some even less of starving yourself (defined by eating less than 1000 cal per day) can still cause electrolyte imbalances, damage your heart, hair loss, GI problems, ongoing metabolism imbalances, infertily and death. I didnt know that. I thought I was at a healthy weight so I was OK.
3. College was the best experience of my life so far- I wish I had done what I am telling you to do: Eat 1000 cals- you will still lose weight- exercise because that alone will improve your self esteem more than starving does because of the endorphins released. Get healthy not anorexic- that is the key. It took me a long time to learn that. Good luck.