(no subject)
i realized earlier today that i am at a lower weight (with the exception of like one day last summer) than i've been in since like 4 years ago. i'm insanely ecstatic. there's this part of me that says i should be worried, but fuck that. i'm more ashamed that such a high weight (137) is the lowest i've been in awhile. when i get below 130 i'm buying myself new summer clothes so that i have ones that i can feel confident in. i'm also pleased that my boobs haven't dropped like they did last summer. unlike most girls restricting, i love my boobs and want them to stay perky and phenommenal. the 500/day thing really helped me out. my metabolism has lasted a lot longer for a (seemingly) insignificant differene in calories.
only 17 days left of this. hopefully it'll get easier again. it's been pretty damn hard today, not gonna lie. i need to get refocused. if i could get below 130 i woudl be SO ECSTATIC. i think my ultimate goal will be 120, but who knows. i don't see myself being satisfied, which sorta scares and excites me simultaneously.
this weekend i am going to state with my old teacher's wife. i'm hoping she doesn't notice my eating. i'm better at pretending nothing is going on now so that should be good... we shall see i guess.
i'm hungry. i've realized i have no guilt eating in front of nick, same as in front of mike or geran. who knew?!?! i think it has to do with their worrying and such. who knows. but i totally over ate the other morning at breakfast with nick. so i'm saving calories for tonight when i hang out with sneha and nick. plus, if i could stay at what i am today (170 ish i think. i dont know the calorie count of coffee i get at white hen) then it should be a great jump start!
gah enough of this. i'll shut up
only 17 days left of this. hopefully it'll get easier again. it's been pretty damn hard today, not gonna lie. i need to get refocused. if i could get below 130 i woudl be SO ECSTATIC. i think my ultimate goal will be 120, but who knows. i don't see myself being satisfied, which sorta scares and excites me simultaneously.
this weekend i am going to state with my old teacher's wife. i'm hoping she doesn't notice my eating. i'm better at pretending nothing is going on now so that should be good... we shall see i guess.
i'm hungry. i've realized i have no guilt eating in front of nick, same as in front of mike or geran. who knew?!?! i think it has to do with their worrying and such. who knows. but i totally over ate the other morning at breakfast with nick. so i'm saving calories for tonight when i hang out with sneha and nick. plus, if i could stay at what i am today (170 ish i think. i dont know the calorie count of coffee i get at white hen) then it should be a great jump start!
gah enough of this. i'll shut up