Some one tell me why...
I am always the one in the wrong?!?
I really do hate everyone. I just do. I hate this world. I hate this life. I hate.
Every time I try to do something to get myself out of my misery, something has to go terribly wrong. And I just don't want to do this anymore. I'd rather die.
I try to go out with any and all people I could call a friend, just because that's what people tell me I have to do to feel better. In traveling alone I almost get raped going down the street. I got followed for 2 miles and then in an attempt to escape I spend my last 10$ on a cab who wouldn't let me go home. Seriously. He drove me to his house, I told him I would sooner walk home the 5 miles at 4am than go in his fucking house. He then turned around and dropped me off at home.
I just wanted to sleep in my bed. Feel safe in my bed. Not have to deal with anything IN MY BED.
But I come home to my bed with a giant wet spot in the middle. I ask my mother why it's wet and she tells me just to sleep in it, she didn't want to talk about it. I ask her again, WHY THE FUCK IS MY BED WET. She said she spilled something in it. I ask what, she says she doesn't want to talk and to just go to sleep. I don't sleep in mystery puddles. I could have stayed on the L for that. I ask again, she says she spilled in it.
Really... I am just supposed to be ok with sleeping in your piss in MY bed, while you sleep in YOUR dry bed? Not to mention getting basically violated twice on the way home... If I have no place to go to, and no place to come back to where I can be respected, why should I stay on this planet?
Apparently I don't have the right to be mad at a person who pisses in my bed and then tells me to sleep in it. I don't have a right to yell and scream when my only safe place has been violated. I don't have a right. At all. I am the one who is ungrateful, I am the one who needs to apologize, I am the one out of line, I am the one ALWAYS in the wrong.
Well FUCK YOU world and your FUCKED UP inhabitants. Guess what, I understand why people mass murder, Columbine, VT, Unabomber... I understand it all. Would I ever do anything like that...no, but I understand why people have and will.
When there is nothing on either side of the bridge to go to just burn it and yourself down, and laugh as it all goes up in flames, leaving behind only the smoke cloud of the things you never wanted to remember anyway.
I really do hate everyone. I just do. I hate this world. I hate this life. I hate.
Every time I try to do something to get myself out of my misery, something has to go terribly wrong. And I just don't want to do this anymore. I'd rather die.
I try to go out with any and all people I could call a friend, just because that's what people tell me I have to do to feel better. In traveling alone I almost get raped going down the street. I got followed for 2 miles and then in an attempt to escape I spend my last 10$ on a cab who wouldn't let me go home. Seriously. He drove me to his house, I told him I would sooner walk home the 5 miles at 4am than go in his fucking house. He then turned around and dropped me off at home.
I just wanted to sleep in my bed. Feel safe in my bed. Not have to deal with anything IN MY BED.
But I come home to my bed with a giant wet spot in the middle. I ask my mother why it's wet and she tells me just to sleep in it, she didn't want to talk about it. I ask her again, WHY THE FUCK IS MY BED WET. She said she spilled something in it. I ask what, she says she doesn't want to talk and to just go to sleep. I don't sleep in mystery puddles. I could have stayed on the L for that. I ask again, she says she spilled in it.
Really... I am just supposed to be ok with sleeping in your piss in MY bed, while you sleep in YOUR dry bed? Not to mention getting basically violated twice on the way home... If I have no place to go to, and no place to come back to where I can be respected, why should I stay on this planet?
Apparently I don't have the right to be mad at a person who pisses in my bed and then tells me to sleep in it. I don't have a right to yell and scream when my only safe place has been violated. I don't have a right. At all. I am the one who is ungrateful, I am the one who needs to apologize, I am the one out of line, I am the one ALWAYS in the wrong.
Well FUCK YOU world and your FUCKED UP inhabitants. Guess what, I understand why people mass murder, Columbine, VT, Unabomber... I understand it all. Would I ever do anything like that...no, but I understand why people have and will.
When there is nothing on either side of the bridge to go to just burn it and yourself down, and laugh as it all goes up in flames, leaving behind only the smoke cloud of the things you never wanted to remember anyway.