Hmmm...
I had an epiphany the other night...
Unlike the epiphanies I am most fond of it was not accompanied by an act of violence. However, I feel like it is going to make a profound impact on my life. Here it is, the thing that I've had the hardest time grasping and now I think I finally can...
Life goes on. It will not wait for me to stop being stressed out and get my shit together. I just need to do what I can while I can and stop planning and setting my self up for defeat by over planning. There is always that little kink that throws my plans out of whack anyway. If I want to travel...then By God I will travel. I may not travel in style or in a big way, but I will while I can. If I can't make up my mind on what I want to do in the future, I should realize that the future is now and just do what I want to do at the moment and if I hate it, change it. I realized that I don't need to go to school, but I am enrolled because I want to be. I don't have to take classes I don't like anymore, so I should go because I want to learn and better myself. **This has actually helped me get out of bed and drive through traffic all week**
So. What does all of this essentially mean? This means that over the past week I have done a number of things that I didn't think I could "make time" to do/ only considered an obligation in the past. And I'm happier. I'm less stressed. I don't feel like I'm drowning and i've decided to let things guide themselves. If it turns out that this is not a great way to handle things I will run into a snag at some point in the near future and I can change my strategy again, however this feels right at the moment.
Tallahassee was great this weekend. I plan to go back before Carly moves because there are still a few people there worth seeing. PLUS I promised Lawrence that I would and I can't break a promise to a man with a beard...he could come back to haunt my dreams.
And believe me, there is nothing worse than a bearded man haunting your dreams.
Unlike the epiphanies I am most fond of it was not accompanied by an act of violence. However, I feel like it is going to make a profound impact on my life. Here it is, the thing that I've had the hardest time grasping and now I think I finally can...
Life goes on. It will not wait for me to stop being stressed out and get my shit together. I just need to do what I can while I can and stop planning and setting my self up for defeat by over planning. There is always that little kink that throws my plans out of whack anyway. If I want to travel...then By God I will travel. I may not travel in style or in a big way, but I will while I can. If I can't make up my mind on what I want to do in the future, I should realize that the future is now and just do what I want to do at the moment and if I hate it, change it. I realized that I don't need to go to school, but I am enrolled because I want to be. I don't have to take classes I don't like anymore, so I should go because I want to learn and better myself. **This has actually helped me get out of bed and drive through traffic all week**
So. What does all of this essentially mean? This means that over the past week I have done a number of things that I didn't think I could "make time" to do/ only considered an obligation in the past. And I'm happier. I'm less stressed. I don't feel like I'm drowning and i've decided to let things guide themselves. If it turns out that this is not a great way to handle things I will run into a snag at some point in the near future and I can change my strategy again, however this feels right at the moment.
Tallahassee was great this weekend. I plan to go back before Carly moves because there are still a few people there worth seeing. PLUS I promised Lawrence that I would and I can't break a promise to a man with a beard...he could come back to haunt my dreams.
And believe me, there is nothing worse than a bearded man haunting your dreams.