The stress is getting to me
With all the things that are going on right now, job searches, and transition issues, recording shows, and setting up interviews, researching show topics, and drawing comics, and working on websites, and getting my broadcasting tests finished, jayna's thesis, and 3d projects, on top of family issues and fighting weight gain.... I am STRESSED OUT
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You are appreciated so much for who you are and what you do. You need to do something for yourself that makes you feel wonderful. After my sister died I felt much like you must be feeling now and I shut down for nearly a year... I existed but didn't do anything to take my mind off of the loss of my sister. My best friend finally got me to see the importance of being me. I am today because she and my girlfriend have made me realize that I need to take time and enjoy life.
As I type this note to you I am listening to trans-ponder and I can feel the love you have for Jayna. She doubtlessly knows how you are feeling now. I appreciate how you both relate to one another on the show. When you get over the hump of the things bogging you down and making you feel stressed out, do something with her. My girlfriend makes me feel the same as I sense you and Jayna fell about each other.
You'll never know how much you are touching my life and those who listen to your show. We won't mind if you take a few weeks off. We'll miss you but you need to do something that makes you feel spectacular!
Love,
Rachael
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You have a very kind heart, and thanks so much for the compliments. I know that right now I am just letting things get to me, and that everything will be just fine in the end. I am very nervous about my upcoming job interview, and scared about the changes that are happening now in my life. Jayna and I are doing really well in our relationship with each other, and I think I would be a lot worse off if she weren't here.
(Today I think a lot of it is sugar withdraw. We started this no sugar diet, and I am fiend-ing for a candy bar.)
I don't understand sometimes why I get upset about the thing in my life. So many things are going right. So many opportunities are opening up, and come next week I might have a trans dream job.
Thanks for the comment, and for caring.
BTW, I was reading your livejournal today, and i would love to chat sometime. You have such a compelling story. I am very interested to learn more. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even begin to imagine how much that must have affected you.
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