(no subject)
Grief lasts forever. If it doesn' t then it's not true grief. I know it sounds hard to believe, but once you stop fighting it and accept it as part of you, it's not such a bad thing. It'll still hurt. It'll still tear you apart, but in a different way. A more intimate way. You can use it. It's yours. It belongs to you. But the pain of grief... the pain you're feeling now doesn't last forever. It can't. It hurts too much. You can't live with that much pain - not forever. Your body can't take it. Your mind can't take it. It knows that if you don't get over it, it's going to kill you. And it doesn't want that. So it makes you get over it. Getting over it doesn't mean forgetting it, it doesn't mean betraying your feelings, it just means reducing the pain to a tolerable level, a level that doesn't destroy you. I know that right now the idea of getting over it is unimaginable. It's im possible. Inconceivable. Unthinkable. You don't want to get over it. Why should you? It's all you've got. You don't want kind words, you don't care what other people think or say, you don't want to know how they felt when they lost someone. They're not you, are they? They can't feel what you feel. The only thing you want is the thing you can't have. It's gone. Never coming back. No one knows how that feels. No one knows what it's like to reach out and touch somone who isn't there and will never be there again. No one knows that unfillable emptiness. No one but you. You don't want anything. You want to die. But life won't let you. You're all it's got.