Judgement Clouded by Beer and Confusion
You know, with everyone egging me on to ask out Colleen, I figured why the hell not...just fucking do it ya know. Well, I asked her last night and she said she isn't ready to take that next step. I asked why and she was just as vague as she usually is, but all hope is not lost, I just can't get a clear reading from her. I honestly don't know if she is playhing hard to get, is really just a naive person or what. I really am crazy about her and I hope she knows that, but I honestly am getting mixed signals. Maybe it's because we come from two diffrent worlds. Her world is much different than the one I lived in. In the bubble, if you wanted to go out with someone you kinda just did, and then got to know each other and if it didn't work out, than it stopped. Well, that kind of fucked it over for me then, cuz I ani't used to this whole idea of "courtship." I really want to spend every waking moment with this girl, fuck my mind is just spinning right now. Seventeen voices in my head telling me what to do, and all of them mean well, but I can't hear the one that matters: mine. I don't know how to handle this stuff but I do and I really don't know. Actions speak louder than words, but then why do words always seem so confusing to people, and the reactions that come from the words are always vague and missunderstanding. I really don't know what the hell is going on there but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just hope I reach it before the train comes barreling down the tracks.
Though all that shit was in my mind I had a kick asss party and me and Colleen actually sat and talked about us as a couple. She said that she likes me, but is not ready to take the next step. Probably because she has never had someone htis interested in her or something. I just don't know how long this can bulid up inside of me. You know what, to quote Slipknot, "I WON'T LET THIS BULID UP INSIDE OF ME!" I gotta do something, whether my brain likes it or not, I gotta follow my heart for once.
Leave one.
Though all that shit was in my mind I had a kick asss party and me and Colleen actually sat and talked about us as a couple. She said that she likes me, but is not ready to take the next step. Probably because she has never had someone htis interested in her or something. I just don't know how long this can bulid up inside of me. You know what, to quote Slipknot, "I WON'T LET THIS BULID UP INSIDE OF ME!" I gotta do something, whether my brain likes it or not, I gotta follow my heart for once.
Leave one.