(no subject)

May 20, 2005 15:58

I should stop reading things but I never learn my lesson.
Now I feel sick again and I promised to myself that I would not let these little things affect me like they do.
I panicked and tried to call my doctor, but he’s not there. NOT THERE??! Holly gatttakjhd;oj No one is ever here when I need them. I swear it’s total shit. I know a bunch of worthless things and have no one-- and no one but myself to blame. It’s not like I hate all people just most people and it’s not like I don’t let anyone in it’s just I don’t trust anyone. And people wonder why? I’m tired about hearing about others supposed problems and hard weeks, try to be me for once. I swear oooh it was really hard for me growing up, oh my friends are dead, oooh schools hard… bullshit. If someone can present to me a life lived as half as hard as mine I’ll fucking pay you to hear your goddam sob story. Assholes. I can’t buy my happiness, I can’t become something I’m not. It’s too late now to start all over and do it again it’s really too late for a number of things including… Honestly what do people like me become. I’m going to live with my parents forever and be nothing to everyone just like always. I’m so upset now I don’t even know what the hell to do. If people could start being honest and real, none of this might have ever happened in the first place. It's everyone else’s fault right now and I don’t care how selfish that sounds. Go off live you life, will all those other people that mean something to you-- all those other people who count. I hope something really awful happens next time.
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