(no subject)
Before the Internet, everybody had nice, happy, productive lives. They kissed their husbands or wives as they left the house in the morning and came back in the evening; they read the paper over a delicious, nutritionally balanced breakfast; they played baseball with their sickeningly cute, genetically normal offspring in the yard as the sun went down behind the hills and cast red shadows over the valley.
But all of that is behind us now. This is the information age - a watershed in terms of ages of man. Look at all the others - the stone age, the iron age, the bronze age, the industrial age. You can reach out and touch those things; information is intangible. It's in our heads. And in the Internet age, that's where we live, which is why we're obese, ugly, socially awkward and will probably die soon. Most importantly, instead of talking to other people, we all keep weblogs. Weblogs are great. If people don't talk to each other, they will never impress the opposite sex with their charming banter and witty demeanour, and will therefore never mate or reproduce; weblogs will, therefore, be the downfall of humankind.
But all of that is behind us now. This is the information age - a watershed in terms of ages of man. Look at all the others - the stone age, the iron age, the bronze age, the industrial age. You can reach out and touch those things; information is intangible. It's in our heads. And in the Internet age, that's where we live, which is why we're obese, ugly, socially awkward and will probably die soon. Most importantly, instead of talking to other people, we all keep weblogs. Weblogs are great. If people don't talk to each other, they will never impress the opposite sex with their charming banter and witty demeanour, and will therefore never mate or reproduce; weblogs will, therefore, be the downfall of humankind.