(series) The Cockamamie Truth 1
Title: The Cockamamie Truth Chapter 1
Rating: PG-13
Length: Chaptered
Genre(s): Comedy, Romance, Drama, & Action?
Pairing(s): Yunjae, Taesu, YooBoA
Summary: Journalists Jung Yunho and Kim Jaejoong are the best of friends, despite their very bizarre
love/hate relationship they're as tight as two people can get. One day, their editor Shim Changmin assigned them to do an interview on this "Use to be" Yakuza leader whose homeland was Korea. It was a typical day for the two writers, they stopped by for breakfast and ordered two cups of coffee to go then made their way to the condo of this said "Retired Yakuza leader." At the end of the day, they were alleged to be murders and kidnappers. They didn't even finish the interview.
Seoul Times HQ
“Psst”
“Psssssst”
“Yah” The gritty co-worker crumpled a piece of paper and threw it to the cubical in front of him. “Yunho!” he hissed loudly, wanting the other’s attention.
After the fifth paper ball flew right on his head in less then five minutes, he had enough. “What. The. Hell. Do. You. Fucking. What. Kim?” he hissed in an irritated manner. “I’m trying to work here and here you are-annoying the hell out of me! Don’t you have work to do?” he let out his frustration under a shushed, yet angered tone.
Jaejoong chuckled, “Sorry …I’m just…really bored” he sighed, pouting his pink lips. He was pretty girly-looking for a guy.
“Whoo-hoo” Yunho said unenthused, “You finished early” Yunho stared at the other blankly. “Why don’t you go celebrate in the break room and fuck off!”
“Geez. Take a chill pill and chillax aiiiight?” Jaejoong leaned against his leather chair.
Yunho mentally noted to himself that he needed to monitor the amount of TV Jaejoong watches.
“Junsu’s busy with an interview today and Yoochun’s flirting with the new kid-it’ll be lonely in the break room” he explained to the other, who was already back in his work.
“Changmin-go to Changmin. He’s got his own office, you can talk all you want in there”
“Don’t want to,” Jaejoong’s lower lip poked out cutely.
“He’s got his own snack machine.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Soda machine?”
“I’ve got my water bottle-thanks.”
“Then I won’t even say anything about the coffee machine,” Yunho sighed, rolling his eyes.
“Had my cup in the morning,” the other nodded softly, “Ah~” he sighed. “So bored.”
“Go play games, watch porn-anything. Just stop talking to me so I can get my freaking work done. Dammit!”
Jaejoong frowned, “Alright, alright. Geez, you don’t have to be mad at me. I just wanted to talk” he stuck his tongue out at him, thinking that the other wouldn’t notice.
But of course, Jung Yunho saw that.
He’s got eyes on the back of his head.
“I have to finish this today or else my balls are going to be cut-do you want that Jaejoong?” Yunho turned around to look at the-believe it or not, the eldest out of the two. “Do you want my reproductive system to be out of service for my whole life? How can I get with a girl without my balls attached? Do you want me to be sex deprived? Do you want me to end up living all alone in my apartment with my dog? Huh?”
Jaejoong blinked, shaking his head, “N-no, of course not-I’ll be forced to cook you dinner every Wednesday night,” he said dreadfully. “I’ve got my own list of things to do on Wednesday nights and my list does not include cooking for a sackless loser named Yunho,” he nodded with arms crossed.
“Alright then-stop talking to me and just stay quiet!”
“Fine!”
“Okay!”
“Lets do it!”
“Alright!”
“Yup~”
“Jae-“
“Okay, sorry” With that, Jaejoong turned around and sighed, pulling his leather chair toward his keyboard and decided to play games online.
He ended up playing tic-tac-toe for a few minutes, then pac-man for another five …after playing solitary half way he couldn’t take it. He groaned, swiftly swiveling his chair to face Yunho’s back. “Yunho!” he hissed, “I’m bored.”
“Can’t talk-busy.”
“But can’t you multitask?”
“I’m working.”
“How about at home? You multitask all the time!”
“No, I don’t!”
“Yeah, you do-you go to the toilet and read porn magazines-and you jack off in there too!”
“Jae-“ he sighed, looking around the quiet office room filled with many, many other employees that might’ve heard what he just said. Sometimes it really wasn’t an advantage that his best friend was born with a gigantic mouth that doesn’t know when to shut up.
“Please, not here. This is a professional place where professional people work in-you’re professional, I’m professional, we’re professional so let’s be very professional about our profession and perform our task,” he explained to him carefully.
“Dude-don’t use the same word over and over again. It makes you sound redundant,” he shrugged.
“Jae-seriously! Just let me get this finished and we can grab lunch and go over whatever else we have to do okay?”
Jaejoong whined childishly and stomped, “Fine!” he crossed his arms and watched Yunho go back to work.
As a few seconds passed, he began entertaining himself by swirling around in his chair. He grunted, shaking his head. “Ah, geez. I can’t take this-I’m going upstairs,” he stood up and dusted his shirt off with his chin held high. “Hmmp!” he made sure Yunho heard it. Which, the other just responded to with a roll of the eye.
The 5th floor was known as the party room, it was where the fun writers were assigned.
Jaejoong was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t a part of the official 5th floor journalists but he was welcomed there.
Without hesitation, he hopped into the elevator and pressed the button for the 5th floor and leaned against the golden metal walls of the lift, wrapping his hands on the handle bar. He hummed to himself as the doors slid close and the elevator became perceptible to his ears.
“Hey~ Jaebaby!” he was greeted instantly with a big smile.
“Hey guys, whatcha doing?” he smiled in return as he stepped out of the elevator.
“Oh, you know, the usual,” the other laughed as he put his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders. “What brings you up here?”
Jaejoong shrugged, “Oh, you know, I finished early and Yunho’s not in a good mood to play so I came up here instead,” he beamed brightly.
“Cause this is where the party iiiiis~” the fellow writer grinned as he nodded, “You know it, everyone in this building knows it,” he laughed a little too loud.
“Uh…” Jaejoong’s smile became a little weirded out, “Yeah, that’s why I’m here!” he chuckled.
“Hell yeah, man-we party 24/7!”
“Heh…yeah…so, Heechul hyung-what exactly are you doing?”
“We’re drinking!” he laughed shortly, “Want some?”
Jaejoong blinked, shaking his head, “Uhm, no thanks I haven’t had my lunch yet. It’ll go down bad if I drank,” he chuckled softly. “Aren’t you guys just like, talking, eating snacks and such?”
“PSH” Heechul scoffed, waving a hand carelessly, “Snacks are for bozos man-booze, now that’s for the cool kids” he snicker as he leaned closer to Jaejoong, letting the other smell his breath.
“You’re drunk, hyung” Jaejoong blinked, looking at the wobbling figure in front of him.
“Whaaaat”
“I said you’re drunk! I don’t think the boss will be happy to know you guys are getting drunk on the job…” Jaejoong thought aloud.
Heechul laughed, pointing to Jaejoong. “You’re funny! Did you know that? You’re funny!”
“Okayyy…so I’ll be going elsewhere” he removed Heechul’s arm off of him, giving the older man a pat on the back before walking through the cubic halls. Looking around at people who were livelier than down stairs. He would’ve enjoyed working up here…but then; it wouldn’t be as nice without his friends.
He let out a sigh then shrugged, turning around on his heels and he decided to go up to the rooftop of their building since he had nothing else to do. He went back into the lift and went up a level higher. Upon arriving to the high outdoors he smiled to himself and stretched his arms, inhaling deeply as he closed his eyes.
“Ah” he grinned, walking to the edge of the building, enjoying the beautiful view of Seoul. Busy people in cars, buses, bikes, and streets went about their day. It was fairly quiet, only the streets’ busy noises accompanied the wind’s soft hums.
“What’s a lovely flower doing among the bushes?” - apparently, Jaejoong wasn’t alone.
“Uh…” Jaejoong faltered, wondering whether it was safe to turn around and find out who it was or just run for his life.
Just his luck, out of the many people Jaejoong knew in his life it had to be the only and only Jo Kwon.
“Like a magnet….I couldn’t help myself. I just had to follow you….to get away…from it all” he sighed, his voice filled with emotion.
Jaejoong sighed, shaking his head as he turned around slowly. “What do you want, Jo?” he asked with both hands casually deep inside his pants.
“Like a bee addicted to flowers, I am addicted to you,” Kwon threw charming words at Jaejoong with a suggestive expression.
Jaejoong blinked his eyes a few times, feeling this awkward atmosphere rise around him. “Uh-so, listen. I-“
The other walked forward and placed his index finger against his parted lips and shook his head softly, “Don’t. Speak” he whispered and smiled gently. “The first moment I laid my eyes on you I-I was committed” he sighed, glancing at his plump lips. “That unforgettable Monday morning when you came to the 4th floor of Seoul Times and was introduced to us all in that slim black dress shirt and blue skinny jeans” he bit his lower lip and narrowed his eyes on his target, “I love you” he mouthed, gaze intense, passionate, it made Jaejoong feel so uncomfortable and a little nauseated.
Jaejoong took a big step back and blinked, “Dude-listen, I am in no way into you,” he spoke slowly, so that Kwon could understand. “I’m not gay nor will I ever be gay,” he smiled, “Thank you.” And with that, Jaejoong hurriedly walked away to retrieve to the elevator.
“No! Wait! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Don’t you want little Kwonjoong babies?!”
Once he was inside, he instantly pushed the close button and pressed the 4th floor.
A relieved sigh escaped his lips as he leaned against the cold metal wall of the elevator, “Shoot” he whispered to himself and shook his head. “That lunatic…”
When the elevator doors parted, a familiar figure stepped in with a stack of papers at hand. “Oh-Jaejoong hyung” Changmin, the young editor smiled as he greeted Jaejoong.
It took a second for Jaejoong to reply, still shocked about the previous episode with Kwon, “Oh-h-hey” he smiled softly as he walked out of the lift.
“You alright?” Changmin asked as he stepped inside and turned around to face his hyung.
“Yeah” Jaejoong nodded, forcing his smile to grow bigger, “Never better!” he chuckled.
The younger man wasn’t buying the cover up but he shrugged and replied with a short laugh of his own, “Alright, then I’ll see you later,” he smiled a goodbye when the elevator opened.
“See you” Jaejoong blinked and turned and slowly walked back to his cubical.
“Jaejoong?” Yunho looked up at him, tilting his head to an angle as he noticed there was something wrong. “Jaejoong” he blinked, wondering what happened. “You okay?”
Jaejoong sunk into his seat and let out a deep breath, “I’m so close to filing a restraining order” his eyes twitched before looking at Yunho.
“Oh” Yunho pursed his lips, “You ran into Kwon again?” he tried his hardest, his very hard not to laugh.
“Yes” Jaejoong frowned, looking upset and adorable.
“W-what was it this time?” Yunho’s lips quivered as he talked, he was so close to losing it.
“He…” Jaejoong blinked, “Asked me if I wanted little Kwonjoong babies….”
“…--“ And after a second, Yunho cracked up, laughing his ass off. “AHAHAHAHAHA!”
Jaejoong’s eyes squinted then his right eye twitched.
“AHA! HAHAHAHAHA!” Yunho held his stomach tightly as he sat in his chair; it was insanely funny in his perspective. He was laughing so hard that the neighboring cubicles stood and checked to see what was going on. “AHAHAHA! OH MY GOD-HA! HAHAHAHA!”
“Shut up Jung!” one of the annoyed cubicles threw an empty bottle straight to his head.
“Yah!” Yunho sighed, heaving softly as he chuckled a little more, “Mind your own business!” he retorted.
“You’re dead to me, Yunho,” Jaejoong looked up at him with a soft smile, “Just so you know, when you come to my place tonight for dinner-you’ll die of a quick and painless death,” he nodded leisurely.
Yunho slumped in his chair as a frown grew on his face, “And here I was… thinking of a violent-free night” he shrugged with a forced smile.
“You know me well enough by now right, buddy?” Jaejoong’s smile just got even sweeter.
Yunho sighed, nodding slowly with a supple pout on his lips. “I’ve known you since high school.... course I know you well enough…” -sadly he wanted to finish off with that, but figured that since he was going to die a quick and painless death, what’s the use?
--
Junsu and Taeyeon’s Apartment, Later that Day
RING RING RING
“Babe! Can you answer that?” Kim Junsu, the young journalist shouted across the living room as he was too busy to answer the phone at the moment, he was almost finished with his interview.
“Whaaaat!” his girlfriend, Kim Taeyeon replied, too busy in the kitchen, decorating her freshly baked chocolate-filled strawberry cupcakes.
Junsu sighed, “I said! Can you get the phone?” he shouted louder, sure that Taeyeon would have heard him loud and clear.
“I can’t!” she replied, “If I stop in the middle of the icing process my whole batch will be ruined!”
RING RING RING
Junsu groaned and had no other choice, “Fiiiiine!” he lifted his laptop off of his lap and placed it carefully on the couch before standing up to get the phone.
“Hello?”
“Jun-su” the other line heaved heavily, “Heh-help! He’s drunk!”
Junsu’s eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to pinpoint the familiar voice, “Yunho hyung?” he raised his eyebrow.
“YAH! COME BACK HERE, YOU FUCKING COWARD!” Junsu could hear the background loud and crisp, “Jaejoong hyung?” he was a little confused.
“Oh my fucking God-he has a knife! HE HAS A KNIFE JUNSU!” Yunho shouted into his cell phone as he ran for his life.
The loud volume made Junsu pull the phone away from his ear, “H-hyung! What’s going on?” Junsu asked.
“AHHHH!” Yunho screamed as he just kept running, and soon Junsu could hear a slight rumbling just outside.
Taeyeon stuck her head out to look at Junsu, “What’s going on?” she asked in curiosity. Her face was painted with bright icing and glitter, making Junsu smile as he looked at her, despite what he was hearing on the phone.
“HOLY FUCK, HE’S GOT RED EYES! HE’S GOING TO PAINT THE TOWN RED WITH MY FUCKING BLOOD!” Yunho freaked out, forgetting the ethics of a manly man.
“Hyung!-calm down!” Junsu tried getting to him, “Where are-“
THUMP THUMP THUMP, a set of loud banging was on their apartment door. “OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!” Yunho screamed for his life. Taeyeon gasped, dropping the icing bag, “What-what’s going on?”
Junsu walked quickly to the door, glancing to his lover, “Stay in the kitchen” he told her firmly before opening the door. Yunho pushed against the door and ran inside when the entrance was opened, “Junsu!” he gasped and swiftly turned to close the door, dropping his phone in the process.
“YAH!” Just in time, Jaejoong made it to the door, thrusting it open again, “LET ME IN! LET ME STAB YOU AND LAUGH IN REVENGE!”
Junsu pushed against Jaejoong’s force with Yunho, having no idea what he was doing. “What’s going on?” he shouted at Yunho. “Jaejoong’s out to kill me!” he stated the obvious and just kept pushing. “UH-NO DUH!” Junsu shoved Yunho’s shoulder, a little mad that he came in and fused up this entire ruckus in his apartment. “-WHY?!”
Yunho shoved him back, “BECAUSE I TEASED HIM ABOUT KWON!”
“YOU IDIOT!” Junsu replied as he put more force, “HOW MANY TIMES DOES HE HAVE TO CHASE YOU WITH A LETHAL WEAPON TO GET IN YOUR HEAD THAT TEASING PEOPLE-ESPECIALLY HYUNG IS SUICIDE?”
Jaejoong growled angrily, the beast within him completely awoken, “JUNSU-YAH! LEMME GET AT HIM! LEMME AT HIM!” He shoved and shoved.
A soft whine escaped Yunho’s lips as he used all his energy to close the door shut, locking it within a blink of an eye. Then, as if by magic, all the loud hammering, shrieking and screaming went away. He sighed in relief, “Oh thank God” he gulped, folding his hands and gazed up at the ceiling, “Thank you” he kissed his hands and pointed up above. “I owe you another one” he nodded.
Taeyeon blinked as she watched in the kitchen with a mop as her emergency weapon, “What’s going on?” she asked again.
“Yunho hyung teased Jaejoong hyung. Again.” Junsu flicked Yunho on the forehead, “Aish! Seriously,” he shook his head. “You can’t keep coming here when you guys have a fight-what if Taeyeon and I were busy?”
Yunho laid against the door, panting gently and gulped, “What?” he blinked, “Busy with what?”
“With sex” Junsu replied with another flick on the temple, “You’d be dead meat by now, you know that right?”
“But you guys aren’t” Yunho heaved, shaking his head, “So, its all good,” he shrugged.
“You idiot! I said, what if we were? What’ve you done the-“ Suddenly the loud thumping began once again, “KIM JUNSU! GIVE ME MY DEAD BODY NOW! OR ELSE I’LL TAKE YOU DOWN WITH IT!”
Yunho cried hopelessly, “Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. He called me it-his dead body!” he pulled on his hair. “What am I going to do?”
Junsu shook his head, crossing his arms and shrugged. “I don’t know hyung, what should you do?” he walked a few steps back, a little tired of these games. “Take it like a man for once, will you?” he sighed, “Before he decides to ax down our door, please?”
Yunho was in the verge of crying, real streaming tears down his face as he looked at his dongsaeng, requesting him to go out there and take it like a man. He didn’t even want to look at Taeyeon, knowing that he would instantly give in-because she’s a girl and girls have special powers-especially when they’re cute.
“S-s-s-s-seriously?” he stuttered and gulped thickly, “S-s-s-s-s-s-should I?”
“I can’t save you all the time, hyung,” Junsu stood in front of Taeyeon just in case something worse was about to happen.
Jaejoong on the other hand, wasn’t stopping anytime soon, “JUNG YUNHO! COME OUT! NOW!” he demanded fiercely.
Yunho was half turned to the door as he listened, scared shitless that he could shit in his pants. He gulped, shaking his hands, trying to get rid of the jitterbugs in his stomach.
He was actually going to face it and take it like a man.
“J-Jaejoong-ah!” he called the other through the door, his hands shaking a little.
“WHAT? YOU FUCK FACE! COME OVER HERE!” Jaejoong replied, banging on the door.
“Jaejoong-ah! C-calm down!” Yunho gulped, “I won’t come out until you stop shouting!”
“NO! I HAVE EVERY SINGLE RIGHT TO SHOUT AT YOU! YOU-YOU-YOU STUPID, PORN-LOVER, LAZY ASS, DOG LOVING, VIDEO-GAME PLAYING, KIMCHI EATING, SCARDY CAT!”
“Jaejoong-ah!” Yunho unlocked the door with a tight grip on the doorknob. He took a deep breath, enjoying it just in case it was his last before swinging it open and widened his eyes to see Jaejoong right in front of him with a butcher knife.
“YAHHH!” Jaejoong raised his right hand, about to chop Yunho’s arm when Yunho stopped him by getting a hold of his wrist. “Stop it! Calm down!”
Jaejoong narrowed his eyes and slapped Yunho’s face with his free hand, “BASTARD, DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” he bent his knee and kicked Yunho right in between his legs.
Yunho groaned with a sour face, his hands automatically covering his hit members.
When the other was defenseless, Jaejoong wasted not even a second of opportunity and tackled Yunho to the ground. He tossed the butcher knife as he straddled on top of Yunho who was currently in great pain. Jaejoong removed the other’s hands off of his crotch and planted them on the floor, “Listen you turd face that I sadly call my best friend!” he slapped his face again, “How dare you!” he pointed at him accusingly.
“You can’t say that to me! You can’t tell me that I’m going to end up marrying that fucking lunatic!” he slapped Yunho’s chest hard.
“YOU TAKE IT BACK!” He shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Junsu and Taeyeon stepped back, watching the two have at it.
Yunho coughed in effect of air being knocked out of him, nodding with his eyes still closed, “I take it back! I take it back!” he nodded frantically, “Please! Don’t kill me!” he pleaded.
Jaejoong sobbed, “I would never kill you,” he shook his head as his tears fell on Yunho’s face, “I couldn’t” he sniffed. “Even if I wanted to!” Jaejoong pouted.
The trapped man opened his eyes as soon as he felt droplets on him, “J-jaejoong-ah” he blinked, suddenly feeling heart-broken to see him like that. “I…I’m sorry” he apologized.
Jaejoong’s grip loosened and eventually let go of Yunho’s hand, instead his pair of hands covered his wet face as he cried.
Yunho sighed, frowning, “Jaejoongie…” he held Jaejoong’s hands and gently removed them from his face, properly wiping his tears away from his face. “I’m really sorry I teased you about Kwon… I take back everything I said-and earlier today, I’m sorry that I laughed at you at work,” he nodded softly, meaning every word he said. “I am deeply and truly sorry that I hurt your feelings.”
Jaejoong sniffed, teary eyes of his looked at Yunho, “You mean it?” he sniffed, wiping his nose. Yunho replied with a nod, “I really really mean it.” He caressed Jaejoong’s supple skin, the other replying by leaning against his soft touch, nodding gently.
“Hmm…okay” he whispered.
“Now, c’mere and give your best friend a hug” Yunho smiled a little as he pulled Jaejoong into a hug, his big hands rubbing circles on his back to soothe the drunken Jaejoong. “Hmm…its all okay now, best friend. We’re okay now,” he whispered to his ear, looking to the couple at the kitchen, mouthing, “Help!.”
Junsu shook his head as he wrapped his arm around Taeyeon’s shoulders, “You’re on your own,” he whispered with a smile. Taeyeon chuckled softly, her arm going around Junsu’s waist as she observed Yunho and Jaejoong. They were the craziest best friends she knows.
“Mmm…wanna go home,” Jaejoong murmured, the soju fully kicking into his system. Yunho sighed, nodding, “Lets go home then” he sat up slowly, letting Jaejoong switch his position to his legs wrapped around his waist and his arms firmly around Yunho’s neck.
Yunho sighed as he got up, grunting as he carried all of Jaejoong’s weight. It was going to be a very long walk back to Jaejoong’s apartment that was a few doors down.
Junsu and Taeyeon sent the two best friends off with soft goodnights and smiles before they locked their door and went straight to the kitchen to try out Taeyeon’s cupcakes while Yunho suffered by carrying Jaejoong.
“Aw fuck-are you serious?” He kicked the locked elevator-it was fine a couple of minutes ago. He sighed, cursing a few more times as he made his way around and used the many, many flights of stairs.
Next
Rating: PG-13
Length: Chaptered
Genre(s): Comedy, Romance, Drama, & Action?
Pairing(s): Yunjae, Taesu, YooBoA
Summary: Journalists Jung Yunho and Kim Jaejoong are the best of friends, despite their very bizarre
love/hate relationship they're as tight as two people can get. One day, their editor Shim Changmin assigned them to do an interview on this "Use to be" Yakuza leader whose homeland was Korea. It was a typical day for the two writers, they stopped by for breakfast and ordered two cups of coffee to go then made their way to the condo of this said "Retired Yakuza leader." At the end of the day, they were alleged to be murders and kidnappers. They didn't even finish the interview.
Seoul Times HQ
“Psst”
“Psssssst”
“Yah” The gritty co-worker crumpled a piece of paper and threw it to the cubical in front of him. “Yunho!” he hissed loudly, wanting the other’s attention.
After the fifth paper ball flew right on his head in less then five minutes, he had enough. “What. The. Hell. Do. You. Fucking. What. Kim?” he hissed in an irritated manner. “I’m trying to work here and here you are-annoying the hell out of me! Don’t you have work to do?” he let out his frustration under a shushed, yet angered tone.
Jaejoong chuckled, “Sorry …I’m just…really bored” he sighed, pouting his pink lips. He was pretty girly-looking for a guy.
“Whoo-hoo” Yunho said unenthused, “You finished early” Yunho stared at the other blankly. “Why don’t you go celebrate in the break room and fuck off!”
“Geez. Take a chill pill and chillax aiiiight?” Jaejoong leaned against his leather chair.
Yunho mentally noted to himself that he needed to monitor the amount of TV Jaejoong watches.
“Junsu’s busy with an interview today and Yoochun’s flirting with the new kid-it’ll be lonely in the break room” he explained to the other, who was already back in his work.
“Changmin-go to Changmin. He’s got his own office, you can talk all you want in there”
“Don’t want to,” Jaejoong’s lower lip poked out cutely.
“He’s got his own snack machine.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Soda machine?”
“I’ve got my water bottle-thanks.”
“Then I won’t even say anything about the coffee machine,” Yunho sighed, rolling his eyes.
“Had my cup in the morning,” the other nodded softly, “Ah~” he sighed. “So bored.”
“Go play games, watch porn-anything. Just stop talking to me so I can get my freaking work done. Dammit!”
Jaejoong frowned, “Alright, alright. Geez, you don’t have to be mad at me. I just wanted to talk” he stuck his tongue out at him, thinking that the other wouldn’t notice.
But of course, Jung Yunho saw that.
He’s got eyes on the back of his head.
“I have to finish this today or else my balls are going to be cut-do you want that Jaejoong?” Yunho turned around to look at the-believe it or not, the eldest out of the two. “Do you want my reproductive system to be out of service for my whole life? How can I get with a girl without my balls attached? Do you want me to be sex deprived? Do you want me to end up living all alone in my apartment with my dog? Huh?”
Jaejoong blinked, shaking his head, “N-no, of course not-I’ll be forced to cook you dinner every Wednesday night,” he said dreadfully. “I’ve got my own list of things to do on Wednesday nights and my list does not include cooking for a sackless loser named Yunho,” he nodded with arms crossed.
“Alright then-stop talking to me and just stay quiet!”
“Fine!”
“Okay!”
“Lets do it!”
“Alright!”
“Yup~”
“Jae-“
“Okay, sorry” With that, Jaejoong turned around and sighed, pulling his leather chair toward his keyboard and decided to play games online.
He ended up playing tic-tac-toe for a few minutes, then pac-man for another five …after playing solitary half way he couldn’t take it. He groaned, swiftly swiveling his chair to face Yunho’s back. “Yunho!” he hissed, “I’m bored.”
“Can’t talk-busy.”
“But can’t you multitask?”
“I’m working.”
“How about at home? You multitask all the time!”
“No, I don’t!”
“Yeah, you do-you go to the toilet and read porn magazines-and you jack off in there too!”
“Jae-“ he sighed, looking around the quiet office room filled with many, many other employees that might’ve heard what he just said. Sometimes it really wasn’t an advantage that his best friend was born with a gigantic mouth that doesn’t know when to shut up.
“Please, not here. This is a professional place where professional people work in-you’re professional, I’m professional, we’re professional so let’s be very professional about our profession and perform our task,” he explained to him carefully.
“Dude-don’t use the same word over and over again. It makes you sound redundant,” he shrugged.
“Jae-seriously! Just let me get this finished and we can grab lunch and go over whatever else we have to do okay?”
Jaejoong whined childishly and stomped, “Fine!” he crossed his arms and watched Yunho go back to work.
As a few seconds passed, he began entertaining himself by swirling around in his chair. He grunted, shaking his head. “Ah, geez. I can’t take this-I’m going upstairs,” he stood up and dusted his shirt off with his chin held high. “Hmmp!” he made sure Yunho heard it. Which, the other just responded to with a roll of the eye.
The 5th floor was known as the party room, it was where the fun writers were assigned.
Jaejoong was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t a part of the official 5th floor journalists but he was welcomed there.
Without hesitation, he hopped into the elevator and pressed the button for the 5th floor and leaned against the golden metal walls of the lift, wrapping his hands on the handle bar. He hummed to himself as the doors slid close and the elevator became perceptible to his ears.
“Hey~ Jaebaby!” he was greeted instantly with a big smile.
“Hey guys, whatcha doing?” he smiled in return as he stepped out of the elevator.
“Oh, you know, the usual,” the other laughed as he put his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders. “What brings you up here?”
Jaejoong shrugged, “Oh, you know, I finished early and Yunho’s not in a good mood to play so I came up here instead,” he beamed brightly.
“Cause this is where the party iiiiis~” the fellow writer grinned as he nodded, “You know it, everyone in this building knows it,” he laughed a little too loud.
“Uh…” Jaejoong’s smile became a little weirded out, “Yeah, that’s why I’m here!” he chuckled.
“Hell yeah, man-we party 24/7!”
“Heh…yeah…so, Heechul hyung-what exactly are you doing?”
“We’re drinking!” he laughed shortly, “Want some?”
Jaejoong blinked, shaking his head, “Uhm, no thanks I haven’t had my lunch yet. It’ll go down bad if I drank,” he chuckled softly. “Aren’t you guys just like, talking, eating snacks and such?”
“PSH” Heechul scoffed, waving a hand carelessly, “Snacks are for bozos man-booze, now that’s for the cool kids” he snicker as he leaned closer to Jaejoong, letting the other smell his breath.
“You’re drunk, hyung” Jaejoong blinked, looking at the wobbling figure in front of him.
“Whaaaat”
“I said you’re drunk! I don’t think the boss will be happy to know you guys are getting drunk on the job…” Jaejoong thought aloud.
Heechul laughed, pointing to Jaejoong. “You’re funny! Did you know that? You’re funny!”
“Okayyy…so I’ll be going elsewhere” he removed Heechul’s arm off of him, giving the older man a pat on the back before walking through the cubic halls. Looking around at people who were livelier than down stairs. He would’ve enjoyed working up here…but then; it wouldn’t be as nice without his friends.
He let out a sigh then shrugged, turning around on his heels and he decided to go up to the rooftop of their building since he had nothing else to do. He went back into the lift and went up a level higher. Upon arriving to the high outdoors he smiled to himself and stretched his arms, inhaling deeply as he closed his eyes.
“Ah” he grinned, walking to the edge of the building, enjoying the beautiful view of Seoul. Busy people in cars, buses, bikes, and streets went about their day. It was fairly quiet, only the streets’ busy noises accompanied the wind’s soft hums.
“What’s a lovely flower doing among the bushes?” - apparently, Jaejoong wasn’t alone.
“Uh…” Jaejoong faltered, wondering whether it was safe to turn around and find out who it was or just run for his life.
Just his luck, out of the many people Jaejoong knew in his life it had to be the only and only Jo Kwon.
“Like a magnet….I couldn’t help myself. I just had to follow you….to get away…from it all” he sighed, his voice filled with emotion.
Jaejoong sighed, shaking his head as he turned around slowly. “What do you want, Jo?” he asked with both hands casually deep inside his pants.
“Like a bee addicted to flowers, I am addicted to you,” Kwon threw charming words at Jaejoong with a suggestive expression.
Jaejoong blinked his eyes a few times, feeling this awkward atmosphere rise around him. “Uh-so, listen. I-“
The other walked forward and placed his index finger against his parted lips and shook his head softly, “Don’t. Speak” he whispered and smiled gently. “The first moment I laid my eyes on you I-I was committed” he sighed, glancing at his plump lips. “That unforgettable Monday morning when you came to the 4th floor of Seoul Times and was introduced to us all in that slim black dress shirt and blue skinny jeans” he bit his lower lip and narrowed his eyes on his target, “I love you” he mouthed, gaze intense, passionate, it made Jaejoong feel so uncomfortable and a little nauseated.
Jaejoong took a big step back and blinked, “Dude-listen, I am in no way into you,” he spoke slowly, so that Kwon could understand. “I’m not gay nor will I ever be gay,” he smiled, “Thank you.” And with that, Jaejoong hurriedly walked away to retrieve to the elevator.
“No! Wait! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Don’t you want little Kwonjoong babies?!”
Once he was inside, he instantly pushed the close button and pressed the 4th floor.
A relieved sigh escaped his lips as he leaned against the cold metal wall of the elevator, “Shoot” he whispered to himself and shook his head. “That lunatic…”
When the elevator doors parted, a familiar figure stepped in with a stack of papers at hand. “Oh-Jaejoong hyung” Changmin, the young editor smiled as he greeted Jaejoong.
It took a second for Jaejoong to reply, still shocked about the previous episode with Kwon, “Oh-h-hey” he smiled softly as he walked out of the lift.
“You alright?” Changmin asked as he stepped inside and turned around to face his hyung.
“Yeah” Jaejoong nodded, forcing his smile to grow bigger, “Never better!” he chuckled.
The younger man wasn’t buying the cover up but he shrugged and replied with a short laugh of his own, “Alright, then I’ll see you later,” he smiled a goodbye when the elevator opened.
“See you” Jaejoong blinked and turned and slowly walked back to his cubical.
“Jaejoong?” Yunho looked up at him, tilting his head to an angle as he noticed there was something wrong. “Jaejoong” he blinked, wondering what happened. “You okay?”
Jaejoong sunk into his seat and let out a deep breath, “I’m so close to filing a restraining order” his eyes twitched before looking at Yunho.
“Oh” Yunho pursed his lips, “You ran into Kwon again?” he tried his hardest, his very hard not to laugh.
“Yes” Jaejoong frowned, looking upset and adorable.
“W-what was it this time?” Yunho’s lips quivered as he talked, he was so close to losing it.
“He…” Jaejoong blinked, “Asked me if I wanted little Kwonjoong babies….”
“…--“ And after a second, Yunho cracked up, laughing his ass off. “AHAHAHAHAHA!”
Jaejoong’s eyes squinted then his right eye twitched.
“AHA! HAHAHAHAHA!” Yunho held his stomach tightly as he sat in his chair; it was insanely funny in his perspective. He was laughing so hard that the neighboring cubicles stood and checked to see what was going on. “AHAHAHA! OH MY GOD-HA! HAHAHAHA!”
“Shut up Jung!” one of the annoyed cubicles threw an empty bottle straight to his head.
“Yah!” Yunho sighed, heaving softly as he chuckled a little more, “Mind your own business!” he retorted.
“You’re dead to me, Yunho,” Jaejoong looked up at him with a soft smile, “Just so you know, when you come to my place tonight for dinner-you’ll die of a quick and painless death,” he nodded leisurely.
Yunho slumped in his chair as a frown grew on his face, “And here I was… thinking of a violent-free night” he shrugged with a forced smile.
“You know me well enough by now right, buddy?” Jaejoong’s smile just got even sweeter.
Yunho sighed, nodding slowly with a supple pout on his lips. “I’ve known you since high school.... course I know you well enough…” -sadly he wanted to finish off with that, but figured that since he was going to die a quick and painless death, what’s the use?
--
Junsu and Taeyeon’s Apartment, Later that Day
RING RING RING
“Babe! Can you answer that?” Kim Junsu, the young journalist shouted across the living room as he was too busy to answer the phone at the moment, he was almost finished with his interview.
“Whaaaat!” his girlfriend, Kim Taeyeon replied, too busy in the kitchen, decorating her freshly baked chocolate-filled strawberry cupcakes.
Junsu sighed, “I said! Can you get the phone?” he shouted louder, sure that Taeyeon would have heard him loud and clear.
“I can’t!” she replied, “If I stop in the middle of the icing process my whole batch will be ruined!”
RING RING RING
Junsu groaned and had no other choice, “Fiiiiine!” he lifted his laptop off of his lap and placed it carefully on the couch before standing up to get the phone.
“Hello?”
“Jun-su” the other line heaved heavily, “Heh-help! He’s drunk!”
Junsu’s eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to pinpoint the familiar voice, “Yunho hyung?” he raised his eyebrow.
“YAH! COME BACK HERE, YOU FUCKING COWARD!” Junsu could hear the background loud and crisp, “Jaejoong hyung?” he was a little confused.
“Oh my fucking God-he has a knife! HE HAS A KNIFE JUNSU!” Yunho shouted into his cell phone as he ran for his life.
The loud volume made Junsu pull the phone away from his ear, “H-hyung! What’s going on?” Junsu asked.
“AHHHH!” Yunho screamed as he just kept running, and soon Junsu could hear a slight rumbling just outside.
Taeyeon stuck her head out to look at Junsu, “What’s going on?” she asked in curiosity. Her face was painted with bright icing and glitter, making Junsu smile as he looked at her, despite what he was hearing on the phone.
“HOLY FUCK, HE’S GOT RED EYES! HE’S GOING TO PAINT THE TOWN RED WITH MY FUCKING BLOOD!” Yunho freaked out, forgetting the ethics of a manly man.
“Hyung!-calm down!” Junsu tried getting to him, “Where are-“
THUMP THUMP THUMP, a set of loud banging was on their apartment door. “OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!” Yunho screamed for his life. Taeyeon gasped, dropping the icing bag, “What-what’s going on?”
Junsu walked quickly to the door, glancing to his lover, “Stay in the kitchen” he told her firmly before opening the door. Yunho pushed against the door and ran inside when the entrance was opened, “Junsu!” he gasped and swiftly turned to close the door, dropping his phone in the process.
“YAH!” Just in time, Jaejoong made it to the door, thrusting it open again, “LET ME IN! LET ME STAB YOU AND LAUGH IN REVENGE!”
Junsu pushed against Jaejoong’s force with Yunho, having no idea what he was doing. “What’s going on?” he shouted at Yunho. “Jaejoong’s out to kill me!” he stated the obvious and just kept pushing. “UH-NO DUH!” Junsu shoved Yunho’s shoulder, a little mad that he came in and fused up this entire ruckus in his apartment. “-WHY?!”
Yunho shoved him back, “BECAUSE I TEASED HIM ABOUT KWON!”
“YOU IDIOT!” Junsu replied as he put more force, “HOW MANY TIMES DOES HE HAVE TO CHASE YOU WITH A LETHAL WEAPON TO GET IN YOUR HEAD THAT TEASING PEOPLE-ESPECIALLY HYUNG IS SUICIDE?”
Jaejoong growled angrily, the beast within him completely awoken, “JUNSU-YAH! LEMME GET AT HIM! LEMME AT HIM!” He shoved and shoved.
A soft whine escaped Yunho’s lips as he used all his energy to close the door shut, locking it within a blink of an eye. Then, as if by magic, all the loud hammering, shrieking and screaming went away. He sighed in relief, “Oh thank God” he gulped, folding his hands and gazed up at the ceiling, “Thank you” he kissed his hands and pointed up above. “I owe you another one” he nodded.
Taeyeon blinked as she watched in the kitchen with a mop as her emergency weapon, “What’s going on?” she asked again.
“Yunho hyung teased Jaejoong hyung. Again.” Junsu flicked Yunho on the forehead, “Aish! Seriously,” he shook his head. “You can’t keep coming here when you guys have a fight-what if Taeyeon and I were busy?”
Yunho laid against the door, panting gently and gulped, “What?” he blinked, “Busy with what?”
“With sex” Junsu replied with another flick on the temple, “You’d be dead meat by now, you know that right?”
“But you guys aren’t” Yunho heaved, shaking his head, “So, its all good,” he shrugged.
“You idiot! I said, what if we were? What’ve you done the-“ Suddenly the loud thumping began once again, “KIM JUNSU! GIVE ME MY DEAD BODY NOW! OR ELSE I’LL TAKE YOU DOWN WITH IT!”
Yunho cried hopelessly, “Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. He called me it-his dead body!” he pulled on his hair. “What am I going to do?”
Junsu shook his head, crossing his arms and shrugged. “I don’t know hyung, what should you do?” he walked a few steps back, a little tired of these games. “Take it like a man for once, will you?” he sighed, “Before he decides to ax down our door, please?”
Yunho was in the verge of crying, real streaming tears down his face as he looked at his dongsaeng, requesting him to go out there and take it like a man. He didn’t even want to look at Taeyeon, knowing that he would instantly give in-because she’s a girl and girls have special powers-especially when they’re cute.
“S-s-s-s-seriously?” he stuttered and gulped thickly, “S-s-s-s-s-s-should I?”
“I can’t save you all the time, hyung,” Junsu stood in front of Taeyeon just in case something worse was about to happen.
Jaejoong on the other hand, wasn’t stopping anytime soon, “JUNG YUNHO! COME OUT! NOW!” he demanded fiercely.
Yunho was half turned to the door as he listened, scared shitless that he could shit in his pants. He gulped, shaking his hands, trying to get rid of the jitterbugs in his stomach.
He was actually going to face it and take it like a man.
“J-Jaejoong-ah!” he called the other through the door, his hands shaking a little.
“WHAT? YOU FUCK FACE! COME OVER HERE!” Jaejoong replied, banging on the door.
“Jaejoong-ah! C-calm down!” Yunho gulped, “I won’t come out until you stop shouting!”
“NO! I HAVE EVERY SINGLE RIGHT TO SHOUT AT YOU! YOU-YOU-YOU STUPID, PORN-LOVER, LAZY ASS, DOG LOVING, VIDEO-GAME PLAYING, KIMCHI EATING, SCARDY CAT!”
“Jaejoong-ah!” Yunho unlocked the door with a tight grip on the doorknob. He took a deep breath, enjoying it just in case it was his last before swinging it open and widened his eyes to see Jaejoong right in front of him with a butcher knife.
“YAHHH!” Jaejoong raised his right hand, about to chop Yunho’s arm when Yunho stopped him by getting a hold of his wrist. “Stop it! Calm down!”
Jaejoong narrowed his eyes and slapped Yunho’s face with his free hand, “BASTARD, DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!” he bent his knee and kicked Yunho right in between his legs.
Yunho groaned with a sour face, his hands automatically covering his hit members.
When the other was defenseless, Jaejoong wasted not even a second of opportunity and tackled Yunho to the ground. He tossed the butcher knife as he straddled on top of Yunho who was currently in great pain. Jaejoong removed the other’s hands off of his crotch and planted them on the floor, “Listen you turd face that I sadly call my best friend!” he slapped his face again, “How dare you!” he pointed at him accusingly.
“You can’t say that to me! You can’t tell me that I’m going to end up marrying that fucking lunatic!” he slapped Yunho’s chest hard.
“YOU TAKE IT BACK!” He shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Junsu and Taeyeon stepped back, watching the two have at it.
Yunho coughed in effect of air being knocked out of him, nodding with his eyes still closed, “I take it back! I take it back!” he nodded frantically, “Please! Don’t kill me!” he pleaded.
Jaejoong sobbed, “I would never kill you,” he shook his head as his tears fell on Yunho’s face, “I couldn’t” he sniffed. “Even if I wanted to!” Jaejoong pouted.
The trapped man opened his eyes as soon as he felt droplets on him, “J-jaejoong-ah” he blinked, suddenly feeling heart-broken to see him like that. “I…I’m sorry” he apologized.
Jaejoong’s grip loosened and eventually let go of Yunho’s hand, instead his pair of hands covered his wet face as he cried.
Yunho sighed, frowning, “Jaejoongie…” he held Jaejoong’s hands and gently removed them from his face, properly wiping his tears away from his face. “I’m really sorry I teased you about Kwon… I take back everything I said-and earlier today, I’m sorry that I laughed at you at work,” he nodded softly, meaning every word he said. “I am deeply and truly sorry that I hurt your feelings.”
Jaejoong sniffed, teary eyes of his looked at Yunho, “You mean it?” he sniffed, wiping his nose. Yunho replied with a nod, “I really really mean it.” He caressed Jaejoong’s supple skin, the other replying by leaning against his soft touch, nodding gently.
“Hmm…okay” he whispered.
“Now, c’mere and give your best friend a hug” Yunho smiled a little as he pulled Jaejoong into a hug, his big hands rubbing circles on his back to soothe the drunken Jaejoong. “Hmm…its all okay now, best friend. We’re okay now,” he whispered to his ear, looking to the couple at the kitchen, mouthing, “Help!.”
Junsu shook his head as he wrapped his arm around Taeyeon’s shoulders, “You’re on your own,” he whispered with a smile. Taeyeon chuckled softly, her arm going around Junsu’s waist as she observed Yunho and Jaejoong. They were the craziest best friends she knows.
“Mmm…wanna go home,” Jaejoong murmured, the soju fully kicking into his system. Yunho sighed, nodding, “Lets go home then” he sat up slowly, letting Jaejoong switch his position to his legs wrapped around his waist and his arms firmly around Yunho’s neck.
Yunho sighed as he got up, grunting as he carried all of Jaejoong’s weight. It was going to be a very long walk back to Jaejoong’s apartment that was a few doors down.
Junsu and Taeyeon sent the two best friends off with soft goodnights and smiles before they locked their door and went straight to the kitchen to try out Taeyeon’s cupcakes while Yunho suffered by carrying Jaejoong.
“Aw fuck-are you serious?” He kicked the locked elevator-it was fine a couple of minutes ago. He sighed, cursing a few more times as he made his way around and used the many, many flights of stairs.
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