Some things I need to get out there so maybe I can stop thinking I need to call her all the time.
I really need to stop posting here with not good things.
On May 15th my sister passed away from a sudden, completely unexpected stroke. My child went to see her that afternoon, I spoke to her on the phone and then it was 11pm and we were rushing to her house to find out why she had not answered her phone all evening. She was 46.
Hindsight says we should have seen it coming. For the previous 2-3 weeks she kept complaining of headaches. It never occurred to any of us to say "Hey, Carol, is this headache you keep complaining of going away and a new one coming back or is it the same headache still?"
The month since then has been a long string of signing papers, cleaning out her apartment, people generally being assholes over who wants what, and extreme emphasis on how dickish landlords can be. (If anyone can tell me how a person 'gives notice' when they are dead I would really appreciate it. I am confused.)
Things I have learned in the last month: Write down your passwords for EVERYTHING (it is amazing what the people you will leave behind need to have access too after you are gone, seriously, shit you wouldn't even think of) and keep them somewhere safe but able to be found by one or two trusted people, have a will (my sister didn't) even if you think you will be around for decades still to come, death is expensive (in the neighbourhood of $4000 - $5000 in Canada) even for very simple and straight forward cremation so have life insurance if you can manage it, landlords can be the worlds biggest douchefucks in existence and look a grieving mother straight in the face mere days after her child has passed and say "Your daughter did not give us 30 days notice she would be vacating the apartment, you owe us a month rent.".
FYI, at least here in BC you do NOT have to pay that month, but they are still perfectly within their rights to keep the security deposit.
It hasn't all been bad though, there have been a lot of companies (Mid-Island Co-op, TD Bank, Shaw Cable, hell even Blizzard with her World of Warcraft Account) which were really understanding and made things as simple as possible. Simple is good when your brain is stuck in disbelief mode.
Things are starting to get back to normal now. I still see things I want to tell her about (a terrarium globe with a fairy statue in the grocery store yesterday) or have things I want to call and ask her. It has been about a week since I actually picked up the phone to call before I remembered I couldn't anymore. It doesn't help that one of the last things she did (literally within minutes) was to help save a the legs of a stray kitten we found who is currently running across my floor. The kitten is another story I have to talk about one day, a much happier story for a much happier day. A day when I haven't just closed her World of Warcraft account which she loved so much.
originally posted at http://genlisae.dreamwidth.org/264098.html:
On May 15th my sister passed away from a sudden, completely unexpected stroke. My child went to see her that afternoon, I spoke to her on the phone and then it was 11pm and we were rushing to her house to find out why she had not answered her phone all evening. She was 46.
Hindsight says we should have seen it coming. For the previous 2-3 weeks she kept complaining of headaches. It never occurred to any of us to say "Hey, Carol, is this headache you keep complaining of going away and a new one coming back or is it the same headache still?"
The month since then has been a long string of signing papers, cleaning out her apartment, people generally being assholes over who wants what, and extreme emphasis on how dickish landlords can be. (If anyone can tell me how a person 'gives notice' when they are dead I would really appreciate it. I am confused.)
Things I have learned in the last month: Write down your passwords for EVERYTHING (it is amazing what the people you will leave behind need to have access too after you are gone, seriously, shit you wouldn't even think of) and keep them somewhere safe but able to be found by one or two trusted people, have a will (my sister didn't) even if you think you will be around for decades still to come, death is expensive (in the neighbourhood of $4000 - $5000 in Canada) even for very simple and straight forward cremation so have life insurance if you can manage it, landlords can be the worlds biggest douchefucks in existence and look a grieving mother straight in the face mere days after her child has passed and say "Your daughter did not give us 30 days notice she would be vacating the apartment, you owe us a month rent.".
FYI, at least here in BC you do NOT have to pay that month, but they are still perfectly within their rights to keep the security deposit.
It hasn't all been bad though, there have been a lot of companies (Mid-Island Co-op, TD Bank, Shaw Cable, hell even Blizzard with her World of Warcraft Account) which were really understanding and made things as simple as possible. Simple is good when your brain is stuck in disbelief mode.
Things are starting to get back to normal now. I still see things I want to tell her about (a terrarium globe with a fairy statue in the grocery store yesterday) or have things I want to call and ask her. It has been about a week since I actually picked up the phone to call before I remembered I couldn't anymore. It doesn't help that one of the last things she did (literally within minutes) was to help save a the legs of a stray kitten we found who is currently running across my floor. The kitten is another story I have to talk about one day, a much happier story for a much happier day. A day when I haven't just closed her World of Warcraft account which she loved so much.
originally posted at http://genlisae.dreamwidth.org/264098.html: