Sometimes, it just hurts too much.
✖
Usually he knew where to stand in every single encounter that he comes across. It wasn’t a hard thing to be not painfully flamboyant (as he’s known for) once in a while, to be clandestine; he’d long convinced himself it’s all for the thrill.
Sometimes the thought just isn’t enough, but what else can he do about it anyway?
He shouldn’t be thinking of these things when they’re all out here to party, girls on the left arm and guys on the right. Let foreign lips latch on their own and their skins, let hands roam to places, and do their jobs to live the rock star life they’ve signed up for. But Ruki figured he was much more complex than that anyway.
The tenth shot of tequila should already be kicking into his system but it didn’t, but at least he had an excuse to stare Aoi in the face all the while. He brought the glass down with a clank against the table then excused himself.
Maybe it wasn’t his place to sit around and watch Aoi make out with everybody else.