(no subject)
Artists supposedly do their best work when they're suicidal. I think I'm half a step away, if at all, from being a full blown alcoholic. I pray a lot when i'm in pain, mental and emotional usually not physical pain. I'm useless, I have no job and I'm not in school. I have no license, no valid ID, and i'm not registered to vote. I haven't had a healthy relationship since, well maybe ever. Almost every day i swing a sword around for god knows how long, a useless skill. What the FUCK do i want out of my life?
Last night I prayed very hard, I thought about killing myself, at the same time i told god i have faith. So which is it? I wish i were just out and out fucked up, at least then i'd have an excuse. Lethargic is a good word for it I think, thanks little scroll bar full of "moods". I want something healthy in my life. Are we all doomed to such a twisted existence? We're all dysfunctional in our own little ways.
I want a home in another person. A relationship where we could find strength and understanding in each other. I want a simple job and a calm place to live. I want beauty in my life. So where do I find these things?
understanding
Last night I prayed very hard, I thought about killing myself, at the same time i told god i have faith. So which is it? I wish i were just out and out fucked up, at least then i'd have an excuse. Lethargic is a good word for it I think, thanks little scroll bar full of "moods". I want something healthy in my life. Are we all doomed to such a twisted existence? We're all dysfunctional in our own little ways.
I want a home in another person. A relationship where we could find strength and understanding in each other. I want a simple job and a calm place to live. I want beauty in my life. So where do I find these things?
understanding