Fuck It
Once again, life is so fucked up. I'm back to wishing that I'd die in my sleep; and that's something I haven't wished in a long time. I thought I was doing well. I thought for once in my life I was back to being happy (no matter how completely alone I am). But shit keeps happening. I keep getting kicked when I'm down. Why the fuck won't God give me a break? You want to know why? Cuz God doesn't fucking exist! And if he does, He's not the type of God people think he is. I feel like I've wasted my last 21 years believing in something completely and utterly pointless. I'm a good person, but for some reason, He hates me and won't let me have happy life.
So yesterday, some punk ass kid rode his bike out in front of me as I was making a right-hand turn from a red light. I was watching traffic from the left and inching forward. The crosswalk was under my car, near the back. This kid came flying from the sidewalk, swerved nearly out into the intersection to get in front of me (remember, I was already in the crosswalk). Since I was still looking left watching the cars and there was a break in the cars, I let off the brake and then boom, the kid runs into my front passenger side of my bumper. and ended up falling to right in front of my car. Thank god for him I have quick reflexes and was back on the brake. So, all he had was a little scratch on his shoulder. I helped him get up and asked if he was okay. and he said yeah and started walking away. I gave him my phone number (I have never been in any sort of accident ever, so I didn't know what to do) and realized his bike was messed up (the front rim was bent) so I offered him a ride home. He said, "No, I"m fine. I just live right down the road." So I said okay and he just walked away. So I went home and called the Police in Elmhurst then because I realized I'm fucked because the kid was a minor and it wasn't going to be okay once he told his parents. (If it had been an adult, and he said he was okay and walked away, I'd be okay...but no so with minors). So anyways, I was fucked because I was in shock and didn't think to ask the kid's name. Well, while I was on the phone with the police the kid's mom called in all hysterical and wanted to make to make a report and all this other shit. She had to take her son to the doctor cuz O MY GOD HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT AND GOT A SCRATCH ON HIS SHOULDER! So anyways, the police gave me her number and I called her, and I wanted to make out a police report to protect myself, too. So we went down to the police station and he showed the cop the bike, showed him all the stuff that was wrong (the front rim). Anyways, I told the cop my side of the story, and apparently he was surprised cuz the kid's mother told him that I backed into her son!! Um no! He ran right in front of me and HE HIT MY CAR!! I just happened to get in his way. So anyways, the kid told the cop that he didn't even stop at the intersection (with Chicagoland traffic at a busy intersection...what the fuck is your problem kid?!?!) So the cop told me that I really should have looked right before letting off my brake (come on, who does that, you let off the brake and roll forward while turning to look right, and then hit the gas! I wasn't even on the gas!!) But anyways, the kid was wearing a fucking ipod, not paying any attention to the whole fucking world. What an idiot. The mother wants me to pay for the bike. After she left, the cop told me if I don't feel comfortable with that, then I don't really have to pay because the kid and I were both at fault. So last night she calls me, and said she got an estimate on the bike and it's going to be 75 fucking dollars for a new bicycle wheel. (just the rim, the tube and tire were fine). And then she also states that she wants me to pay for her co-pay with her insurance for the fucking doctor visit. Which is going to be about another $45. This is all money I can't afford, because remember my stupid summer job isn't working out. So now I'm stressed and pissed and upset, and I'm pretty sure over the course of one day I got upset enough to make my fucking ulcer come back, so I didn't eat hardly at all yesterday. And I'm not sure I'm going to be able to eat today b/c I'm still completely sick to my stomach and it hurts. So what a great fucking day I had. (I guess you can tell by all the fucks and fuckings...seeing as I haven't swore all summer b/c I'm living at the Delia's...I now only swear when I am really really angry).
I pretty much want to crawl into a hole and die b/c my life fucking sucks.
So yesterday, some punk ass kid rode his bike out in front of me as I was making a right-hand turn from a red light. I was watching traffic from the left and inching forward. The crosswalk was under my car, near the back. This kid came flying from the sidewalk, swerved nearly out into the intersection to get in front of me (remember, I was already in the crosswalk). Since I was still looking left watching the cars and there was a break in the cars, I let off the brake and then boom, the kid runs into my front passenger side of my bumper. and ended up falling to right in front of my car. Thank god for him I have quick reflexes and was back on the brake. So, all he had was a little scratch on his shoulder. I helped him get up and asked if he was okay. and he said yeah and started walking away. I gave him my phone number (I have never been in any sort of accident ever, so I didn't know what to do) and realized his bike was messed up (the front rim was bent) so I offered him a ride home. He said, "No, I"m fine. I just live right down the road." So I said okay and he just walked away. So I went home and called the Police in Elmhurst then because I realized I'm fucked because the kid was a minor and it wasn't going to be okay once he told his parents. (If it had been an adult, and he said he was okay and walked away, I'd be okay...but no so with minors). So anyways, I was fucked because I was in shock and didn't think to ask the kid's name. Well, while I was on the phone with the police the kid's mom called in all hysterical and wanted to make to make a report and all this other shit. She had to take her son to the doctor cuz O MY GOD HE'S A FUCKING IDIOT AND GOT A SCRATCH ON HIS SHOULDER! So anyways, the police gave me her number and I called her, and I wanted to make out a police report to protect myself, too. So we went down to the police station and he showed the cop the bike, showed him all the stuff that was wrong (the front rim). Anyways, I told the cop my side of the story, and apparently he was surprised cuz the kid's mother told him that I backed into her son!! Um no! He ran right in front of me and HE HIT MY CAR!! I just happened to get in his way. So anyways, the kid told the cop that he didn't even stop at the intersection (with Chicagoland traffic at a busy intersection...what the fuck is your problem kid?!?!) So the cop told me that I really should have looked right before letting off my brake (come on, who does that, you let off the brake and roll forward while turning to look right, and then hit the gas! I wasn't even on the gas!!) But anyways, the kid was wearing a fucking ipod, not paying any attention to the whole fucking world. What an idiot. The mother wants me to pay for the bike. After she left, the cop told me if I don't feel comfortable with that, then I don't really have to pay because the kid and I were both at fault. So last night she calls me, and said she got an estimate on the bike and it's going to be 75 fucking dollars for a new bicycle wheel. (just the rim, the tube and tire were fine). And then she also states that she wants me to pay for her co-pay with her insurance for the fucking doctor visit. Which is going to be about another $45. This is all money I can't afford, because remember my stupid summer job isn't working out. So now I'm stressed and pissed and upset, and I'm pretty sure over the course of one day I got upset enough to make my fucking ulcer come back, so I didn't eat hardly at all yesterday. And I'm not sure I'm going to be able to eat today b/c I'm still completely sick to my stomach and it hurts. So what a great fucking day I had. (I guess you can tell by all the fucks and fuckings...seeing as I haven't swore all summer b/c I'm living at the Delia's...I now only swear when I am really really angry).
I pretty much want to crawl into a hole and die b/c my life fucking sucks.