Back to life

[genius_level]

His dreams were disjointed and murky; just snatches of conversation or flashes of images, nothing continuous. He heard the enraged roar when the first Klingon had charged him, bitten off abruptly by the blast of phaser fire striking him squarely in the chest. Jim saw Ellison's face again, felt the shock of the blade penetrating skin and muscle, but

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[genius_level]

Jim watched Olivia gaze up at this new person, her expression serious, and grinned at Foster's excitement. He didn't mind the interruption, really, part of him proud to introduce his daughter to their friends and the rest of the crew, but he was very aware that he was exhausted, and that he needed to eat. His eyes met Bones' as Foster withdrew, her excited squeals clear even after the door had shut. "You're popular already," Jim murmured, kissing Olivia on the forehead before handing her over to Bones.

He reached for the water glass on the tray and sipped it slowly before turning his attention to the covered bowl and plate. Chicken soup and toast; simple enough, he decided. He wasn't particularly hungry, but Jim knew Bones would worry if he didn't eat. His progress was slow, but once he had some of the soup in him he began to feel more himself. "I guess we'll have a lot of guests for a while, won't we?" Jim put the spoon down and picked up a triangle of toast, dipping it in the broth before taking a bite. "We'll have to figure that out, how to juggle everything."

[dctr_mccoy]

Jim's color got better as he ate, Leonard decided, walking over to the edge of his desk as he rocked Olivia in his arms. "She's our social butterfly," he said, grinning at her matching smile. He picked her up and held her at his shoulder so she could look out at everything with her still-weak eyes.

"Maybe once she's out of all danger, and you've had some time to rest, we can have a get together at our place on Sha-Kwai," he mused, "if Spock's family doesn't mind." Time to spend with their closest friends, introducing them to their daughter.

[genius_level]

He finished the toast and leaned an elbow on the desk as he watched Bones rock Olivia, lifting her high up so she could see everything. "A party?" A smile tugged at Jim's lips. "I like that idea," he agreed, taking another couple of bites of soup. "Maybe we can find time to see a little of the colony, too." He was curious about the planet, which by all reports was quite different from Vulcan.

Jim sat back with a sigh, the bowl more or less empty. Bones' comment caught his attention, though. "Will she need the incubator while we're there?"

[dctr_mccoy]

"I know we hadn't decided how long to take, but rumor has it that the ship repairs will take about a month. I'm figuring that you'll want to come back on board when everything's done, be ready to fly out with everyone again." It was good, knowing that they wouldn't miss any important missions, but it also meant that everyone would be planetside, not just the two of them. There would be more entertaining that Leonard might have wanted, but as Ensign Foster just pointed out, people wanted to see the baby.

Jim's soup had done him well, even though Jim could see the strain of being up and around for a while beginning to show. "Let's go lay down again, and Geoff should be around to see you soon. Once he sees how good you look, maybe he'll okay you going home tomorrow." Looking down at her, Leonard sighed, touching her soft skin. He wanted to believe she was perfect but the truth was, she was too small, not enough fat, her skin, her eyes, her organs were all still fragile. "I don't know," he told Jim truthfully, sitting across from Jim in a chair.

Time for the real story. "Under normal circumstances, she's still be in the incubator all day, since her lungs were very underdeveloped at the time of her birth. But," Leonard hesitated, looking down at Olivia, "it was not a normal birth. She, well you both really, had some extraordinary assistance."

How would that affect her growing up, that injection of magic? Leonard suspected that Jim's long sleep was his body's way of processing that magic, and he'd be up and around much faster than he should.

[genius_level]

A month. Jim winced, but he'd already begun to suspect it wasn't going to be quick, just from his preliminary look through the reports on his datapadd. Still... if the ship had to be under repair, he supposed it was easier if it coincided with their leave. At least this way, they wouldn't have to worry about a later rendezvous with the ship. Maybe he could even check things out occasionally, make sure everything was going smoothly.

He stifled a yawn, wanting to stay awake longer and spend more time with Olivia, even if it meant just watching her sleep. Jim swallowed as he watched Bones settle in the chair, the mood turning serious in the space of those three words. I don't know.

Jim listened, alert again as Bones explained just how bad things had been. "Fuck," he murmured at last, under his breath. Without his father and Loki, they might have lost her. He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed, quiet for a long moment as he digested the news that it was more magic that had helped to save the two of them. Jim reached out, one hand covering Bones' knee. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that, both of us hurt," he managed at last. "So... we wait and see how she does, right? And make sure she eats." He felt helpless thinking about it, wishing there was something more he could do to help their little girl.

[dctr_mccoy]

Leonard recognized that look on Jim's face, as if he didn't want to sleep, afraid he'd miss something. Then that face settled into something new. He'd seen Jim worried before, about his ship and his crew. This was Jim worried as a parent, and while it made Leonard ache inside to see it, he recognized it for what it was - love for someone small, someone helpless, not just a child, but your child.

He sighed again, knowing he hadn't dealt with it very well. You know, Jim, as strange as it all was, Blake and Loki working on you, working on her - " he shrugged, not sure how to say this, "I almost think that she's doing better because of that magic." Looking down at her, he couldn't imagine what it would be like if something had happened to her, unimaginable. "By all rights, she should be in intensive care right now, all her oxygen being provided to her, unable to see an inch past her face. She should be really weak right now, Jim," he said, his voice growing softer, touching her small hand. "But she's not. She's amazing, and just getting stronger every hour."

Olivia made a little noise, as if she knew they were talking about her, and Leonard laughed, as if he couldn't help it. "Normally, with premies, they say that they stay developmentally behind the amount of time they were premature. You expect them to be caught up by their due date." Leonard looked up at Jim again and grinned, hopeful. "I don't think she's gonna have that problem."

[genius_level]

It was a different sort of responsibility settling on his shoulders, even from the promises he'd made to love and honor Bones. So much of what Olivia needed was entirely up to them, and as happy as he was to finally see her after months of feeling her grow and kick inside him, his happiness was tempered with the weight of that responsibility. It was a new sort of challenge, he supposed.

He looked at Bones, cradling Olivia in his arms, and nodded slowly. So much of the information he'd read had been about normal, full-term pregnancies, but he'd read up on some of the possible complications, too. None of the books he'd read had taken into account the use of magic as a treatment, of course, so they were even farther into uncharted territory. But... she was strong, and getting stronger. "She's a lucky girl," he said, his voice quiet. Then Jim paused, struggling to put the surge of emotions inside him into words. "I'm glad we found Dad," he murmured at last. His eyes were bright as he looked Bones in the eye. "Not... I still hate that you were sick. I'll always hate that feeling, knowing that you..." Jim swallowed, blinking rapidly and looking down.

"...That you were going to die," he continued, his voice almost inaudible. "But if we hadn't found him, we wouldn't have her."

[dctr_mccoy]

It had been a terrible time for him, the idea that he'd die and leave Jim all alone. Leonard felt as if he could understand Jim's feelings a little more after what happened to Jim. When the Klingons attacked the ship, they almost killed her captain, maybe closer then they even realized.

One more inch to the left and no magic would have brought Jim back and then he might have lost both of them... "We're all lucky," he said quietly. Then an idea... "Maybe when we're down there, your dad can come and visit his granddaughter," he smiled, looking down to see that Olivia had drifted off to sleep. "I think you two being closer can only be good for you, and for her," he chuckled, trying not to move too much.

Leonard could see the emotion in Jim's eyes, along with the weariness and medication, and there was Jim, fighting it all. "C'mon," he stood slowly, beckoning Jim with his head. "Let's get you back to bed, darlin', and when you wake up, the princess will be hungry again."

[genius_level]

"I'd like that," Jim said, recalling that fragment of a dream about his father playing with Olivia. He watched Bones lay her back in the incubator, then reached out to stroke the back of her hand, so tiny. Jim felt the weariness enveloping him again and couldn't suppress a huge yawn. There would be time to talk and plan later, he admitted to himself at last. For now, he needed to stop fighting and rest.

"Okay." Jim stood up slowly, still stiff and uncomfortable but steadier on his feet with a little food inside him. He grasped Bones' arm when he reached his side and leaned against him as they walked back out to his room. By the time he climbed back onto the biobed he was tired out, but he reached for Bones' wrist as he wiggled to the side to make room. "You'll stay?"

[dctr_mccoy]

The walk back was slow but Leonard could see that despite the weariness in Jim's step, his color was better, his back was straighter, and his head was higher. He pushed Olivia, tucked away in her incubator, her mouth open as she slept, and Leonard heard more than one person make a soft noise at the sight of her, so tiny and precious.

He set the incubator next to Jim's bed, where Jim could see her. Watching as Jim settled in, looking back up at him with such love and happiness, it made him feel amazing, even though the situation wasn't the best, here in Sickbay. "Of course I'll stay," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up. He slid up next to Jim, on his side, hard to get comfortable but this wasn't about comfort. It was about closeness, to this man he loved. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you right now."

His fingers played with Jim's hair. "Geoff will be here in a bit. Try to nap for a while, so he can see you rested, and maybe we'll get you sprung from this place."

[genius_level]

He hardly noticed the attention, so tired that everything was narrowing down to just the three of them as they got settled again. Tired enough not to protest or try to talk himself out of Sickbay sooner, but as he slid an arm over Bones and sighed, curling up against him, Jim couldn't help nudging against him with a sleepy, inquisitive sound. "Get sprung? You mean... today?" He blinked at Bones, wondering if he'd heard correctly.

But... Olivia. Jim's gaze went to the incubator, watching her shift in her sleep. "Olivia will have to stay a little longer, though, won't she?" He wasn't sure the prospect of being released from Sickbay had ever felt so unappealing. "Or can we take her with us?" His tone was hopeful.

[dctr_mccoy]

"Probably not today," Leonard said, sad but still smiling at Jim, already wanting to get out of here. "You only just woke up, Captain," he reminded him. "I think tomorrow would be as soon as they'll feel comfortable letting you go, and only on the condition that you rest." Hard enough for Jim, harder when there was a newborn around, a small life who needed constant attention.

Speaking of... Leonard's eyes followed Jim's to the little girl fast asleep. "I think they'll let me take her," he hoped, "as long as I keep her monitors on. Right now she needs food and sleep and warmth, and I think we can provide those, along with a lot of love." Turning back to Jim, he pushed gently on Jim's head until it hit the pillow. "Sleep, you. She's gonna need you strong and healthy soon." Leonard laughed. "And I'm not changing all the diapers, so you rest now. Your turn is coming and quick."

[genius_level]

"I know, but..." Jim trailed off. "I just sleep better in our bed," he admitted at last. He knew Bones was right, though - given the severity of his injury and the fact that they'd had to deliver Olivia early, too, he suspected M'Benga wouldn't want to let him go immediately. There would be visitors, too, once he was released, that he was pretty sure of. Somehow when Bones or M'Benga said "rest", he knew it didn't include being sociable. To be honest, he didn't feel like dealing with that yet, either. Maybe tomorrow.

He let Bones push him down and tightened his arm around him with a slow, deep breath, his eyes already blinking shut. "We'll take good care of her," he agreed, his voice thick with sleep. Jim tucked his face against Bones' shoulder, his eyes cracking open one more time to look over at Olivia.

Then he slept.