Poetry

[genital_ben]

I'm a weird guy Spatula Man. The government wants me sick and poor. But I haven't smoked in a week and a half so now I'm gonna cheat all over again. I'm gonna smoke cigarettes because it can't be worse than anything else. Only I can make my brain as useless as best friends, and you're just about as useless as my brain. Scary dreams about the Coca Cola Polar Bears, so that's not gonna work out. I'll take a bath on that. I'm talking to shampoo, and if I don't get bit by a radioactive spider soon I'll have to start working out. 'Tis the season after all, but plastic trees don't sparkle like the real ones. Dang. So I'm headed down stairs to tell my parents, "Mom, Dad... Straight up, I'm krunked right now... I am krunked!" I'll tell them blank heart's blank, and that I don't want to gather, and I don't feel like drinking ever, so I don't want to see any of your stupid faces, or hear any stupid voices singing carols about their stupid boring relationships. When I'm less drunk, you're more retarded, and I'm still not cool, and you're still not into me, and you only want to go to Hawaii when you're in Iceland. I blocked high school, after going for a good 3 and a half years I had to quit because I just wasn't getting very high. So I was thinking about hanging out on the streets, but no one has any idea where Amelia is.

Signed,
Your friend and campaign manager

Yesssssssss.