monthly reminder I am alive.
MY MONTHLY POST!
I feel really guilty for abandoning my LJ... and LJ friends... seems there are a few who might think I actually get on the computer... I really don't.
the computer is like going to the mail box to me... you go to get your mail, sort through the shit, and then forget about it all together till you realize you should of gotten a letter/bill by now and check it again...
ANYWAYS...
Here's the update.
I went to NY. Left the South for the first time in my LIFE and got on a plane... first time as well, and I hated it very much. NY was great though. Mark's whole family seems to love me... all of them... it makes me question who horrible his previous g/f's must of been to have such a complete and geniune embrace from his entire family... seriously, I don't think one person had any dislikes... it was strange and very very very wonderful all at once. I got the approval from all his friends back home too... now I just wait for the ring I suppose...
umm... well, right NOW things aren't exactly great. I spent this weekend in complete distress and panic trying to fix the major fuck up I made Thursday night... Quite possibly a major stain in my life that I'm not sure if I can get out...
Tofu had her birthday party Saturday and that was great. All the people I really hoped would come did and even though I had 12 dogs RSVP only 6 showed (the important ones) and... turned out pretty good. Tofu got to see her friends. I got to see everyone. She got some really cute presents and we were able to donate the rest of the cake/ treats/ toys to the rescue we got her from in the first place.
GOOD NEWS!
I start my education with Animal Behavior College to become a certified dog trainer soon. I'm very excited about it. There's more on this but yea... I dunno
My "special" problem seems to be becoming more and more special.... fucking blows. Now I may be fucked at work... I'm not even crazy... I don't want to hurt myself or anyone else... but DAMN! You get a LITTLE moody and cry and people start putting ya on lock down treating me like I'm some retard!
I am really exhausted by the ignorance...
It's really not my job to educate the world around me about Bipolar.
In this day and age is it really that hard to get the information? The internet will tell all and show all!
My favorite is when someone is talking to me and doesn't know I'm bipolar and says "no, for real, I think she was bipolar or something! She was CRAZY!" .... *sigh* it's really getting old.
I want to know why it is still affecting my life... and why does it seem to get worse when I'm happy?
I just want a normal simple average life... marriage, kids, vacations, pets... nothing extravigant. Why can't I have that?
moving on.
When I was in NY I REALLY!!!! wished I had Kyle or Aimi's number! We were fricken IN Canada! I may never be that close again.... after all these years I could of FINALLY met ya'll! *aggrivation*
Leah.
I'm sorry.
I'm a total fuck up. The harder I try the more I just mess it all up, but I do love you. I swear my intentions are good... I just don't execute them so well... I'll work on it... <3456
um.
yea.
peace.
I feel really guilty for abandoning my LJ... and LJ friends... seems there are a few who might think I actually get on the computer... I really don't.
the computer is like going to the mail box to me... you go to get your mail, sort through the shit, and then forget about it all together till you realize you should of gotten a letter/bill by now and check it again...
ANYWAYS...
Here's the update.
I went to NY. Left the South for the first time in my LIFE and got on a plane... first time as well, and I hated it very much. NY was great though. Mark's whole family seems to love me... all of them... it makes me question who horrible his previous g/f's must of been to have such a complete and geniune embrace from his entire family... seriously, I don't think one person had any dislikes... it was strange and very very very wonderful all at once. I got the approval from all his friends back home too... now I just wait for the ring I suppose...
umm... well, right NOW things aren't exactly great. I spent this weekend in complete distress and panic trying to fix the major fuck up I made Thursday night... Quite possibly a major stain in my life that I'm not sure if I can get out...
Tofu had her birthday party Saturday and that was great. All the people I really hoped would come did and even though I had 12 dogs RSVP only 6 showed (the important ones) and... turned out pretty good. Tofu got to see her friends. I got to see everyone. She got some really cute presents and we were able to donate the rest of the cake/ treats/ toys to the rescue we got her from in the first place.
GOOD NEWS!
I start my education with Animal Behavior College to become a certified dog trainer soon. I'm very excited about it. There's more on this but yea... I dunno
My "special" problem seems to be becoming more and more special.... fucking blows. Now I may be fucked at work... I'm not even crazy... I don't want to hurt myself or anyone else... but DAMN! You get a LITTLE moody and cry and people start putting ya on lock down treating me like I'm some retard!
I am really exhausted by the ignorance...
It's really not my job to educate the world around me about Bipolar.
In this day and age is it really that hard to get the information? The internet will tell all and show all!
My favorite is when someone is talking to me and doesn't know I'm bipolar and says "no, for real, I think she was bipolar or something! She was CRAZY!" .... *sigh* it's really getting old.
I want to know why it is still affecting my life... and why does it seem to get worse when I'm happy?
I just want a normal simple average life... marriage, kids, vacations, pets... nothing extravigant. Why can't I have that?
moving on.
When I was in NY I REALLY!!!! wished I had Kyle or Aimi's number! We were fricken IN Canada! I may never be that close again.... after all these years I could of FINALLY met ya'll! *aggrivation*
Leah.
I'm sorry.
I'm a total fuck up. The harder I try the more I just mess it all up, but I do love you. I swear my intentions are good... I just don't execute them so well... I'll work on it... <3456
um.
yea.
peace.