house_muses 3.4
4. Three times you cried, two times you didn't, and one time you wanted to.
Note: This prompt contains spoilers for episode 5x20 Simple Explanations and in vague way for the prevue of next week.
Receiving lines are for weddings and funerals. When they'd married the line had felt interminable. Half the well-wishers treated her like a Saint, the other half like a martyr or worse. Crazy. Needy. Codependent. How ever they looked they didn't see newlyweds. They saw a dying man and a bleeding heart. But when she looked at them, she was equally blinded. All she saw was the way through. She was married, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do they part. When they said their vows her eyes were clear but in the receiving line, she cried.
Damn him for taking something fun and easy and turning it into something messy and emotional. She refused to care. He wanted her to care. He wanted her to cry. If she cried she cared and then the something would be even more than messy and emotional. It would be real. She refused to cry.
Cameron didn't know Amber well and what she knew of her she didn't really like. What she'd put up with, what she'd admired in House, she looked down on in Amber. It wasn't fair but when is life fair? It is the first lesson they teach in medical school. What's your name? Why do you want to be a doctor? Life isn't fair. When Amber was dying Cameron decided it didn't matter if she liked her or not. When Amber died it was Wilson Cameron thought of first. She visited him. Listened. Held him. Driving home...that was when she cried.
Cameron knew better than most what weight a diagnosis had. You started to think of your life in terms of time enough. Time enough to see Paris. Time enough to marry. Time enough to have a child. Time enough to do something they'll remember you for. Time enough to live before you die. Cameron knew what Thirteen was thinking and she refused to treat her differently. Thirteen was more than her diagnosis, more than time enough, more than all the time she had. Cameron didn't offer sympathy, she offered empathy. She offered friendship and she did not cry.
Doctors dealt in life and death. Emergency room doctors dealt in life and death emergencies. And there were days when they dealt with life and death emergencies of doctors. The news spread through the hospital as only bad news can. Cameron caught her breath and pulled the curtain around a bed in the ER. She sat, trying to process it. What curse flew over the fellows House put through his hamster course last year? Amber, Thirteen, Kutner...Cameron knew she was not rational but who would be? She sat, hands clenched and cried.
House did not attend the service. Cameron would have been surprised if he had, but still she looked. Still she wondered where he went instead. Still she worried. Kutner affected the hospital and everyone in her more in death than he ever had in life. Cameron knew they were all looking for the why, for what happened, for what should have happened to land them somewhere else. Not here. Not at another funeral. Cameron was not looking for why. She can't save Kutner. She was looking for House. When the service ended she paid her respects but bowed out of the reception. Robert watched her leave; she said she'd see him later and she would, but she went and he did not wonder where. No one wondered. She went looking but he wasn't home. She waited an hour. Maybe more. She waited, her hand on the door, wanting to be let in. Always wanting to be let in. She waited, her hand on the door, and wanted to cry.
Note: This prompt contains spoilers for episode 5x20 Simple Explanations and in vague way for the prevue of next week.
Receiving lines are for weddings and funerals. When they'd married the line had felt interminable. Half the well-wishers treated her like a Saint, the other half like a martyr or worse. Crazy. Needy. Codependent. How ever they looked they didn't see newlyweds. They saw a dying man and a bleeding heart. But when she looked at them, she was equally blinded. All she saw was the way through. She was married, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do they part. When they said their vows her eyes were clear but in the receiving line, she cried.
Damn him for taking something fun and easy and turning it into something messy and emotional. She refused to care. He wanted her to care. He wanted her to cry. If she cried she cared and then the something would be even more than messy and emotional. It would be real. She refused to cry.
Cameron didn't know Amber well and what she knew of her she didn't really like. What she'd put up with, what she'd admired in House, she looked down on in Amber. It wasn't fair but when is life fair? It is the first lesson they teach in medical school. What's your name? Why do you want to be a doctor? Life isn't fair. When Amber was dying Cameron decided it didn't matter if she liked her or not. When Amber died it was Wilson Cameron thought of first. She visited him. Listened. Held him. Driving home...that was when she cried.
Cameron knew better than most what weight a diagnosis had. You started to think of your life in terms of time enough. Time enough to see Paris. Time enough to marry. Time enough to have a child. Time enough to do something they'll remember you for. Time enough to live before you die. Cameron knew what Thirteen was thinking and she refused to treat her differently. Thirteen was more than her diagnosis, more than time enough, more than all the time she had. Cameron didn't offer sympathy, she offered empathy. She offered friendship and she did not cry.
Doctors dealt in life and death. Emergency room doctors dealt in life and death emergencies. And there were days when they dealt with life and death emergencies of doctors. The news spread through the hospital as only bad news can. Cameron caught her breath and pulled the curtain around a bed in the ER. She sat, trying to process it. What curse flew over the fellows House put through his hamster course last year? Amber, Thirteen, Kutner...Cameron knew she was not rational but who would be? She sat, hands clenched and cried.
House did not attend the service. Cameron would have been surprised if he had, but still she looked. Still she wondered where he went instead. Still she worried. Kutner affected the hospital and everyone in her more in death than he ever had in life. Cameron knew they were all looking for the why, for what happened, for what should have happened to land them somewhere else. Not here. Not at another funeral. Cameron was not looking for why. She can't save Kutner. She was looking for House. When the service ended she paid her respects but bowed out of the reception. Robert watched her leave; she said she'd see him later and she would, but she went and he did not wonder where. No one wondered. She went looking but he wasn't home. She waited an hour. Maybe more. She waited, her hand on the door, wanting to be let in. Always wanting to be let in. She waited, her hand on the door, and wanted to cry.