clutch it like a cornerstone...
lyrics that describe my current state :
"teenage angst has paid off well, now i'm bored and old.
self appointed judges judge, more than they have sold"
obviously let me start with Nirvana.
i feel like i've seen it all, that all i could experience, grow from, be nurtured by, educated by, its all come and gone. my indifference is a cancer that festers and bleeds, and poisons me with blackness. okay so that was
abit emo cheese, but fuck it i'm venting.
and this is the result, a mindload of trivia and corporate etiquette. and i feel old, like i'm terminal, that illness striking anytime wouldnt
surprise me.
that i have been judged by people who only see the flaws of someone when they cant get their way, or leech of them anymore, enter workking life and its key players. superiority of course rules, and thats why i'm now looking for another job.
"turn around you say, scuse' the tude' but i haven't eaten today,
and my eyes are turning gray"
Alice in Chains for the 2nd dose.
i am constantly told by everyone that i need to change my attitude.
why because i'm not a fucking unfeeling fish person?
that maybe i havent stereotyped myself into the rest of society's fucking mindset, of 'oooh lets not think/feel/be human'.
i get emotional goddammit. situations affect me, my outburts define my emotions, and i refuse to stifle them.
fuck you twats and your stupid walls. their superficialty can only get them so far, and yet i'll still lose out in the scheme of things.
there's so much i need to get off my chest. but i cant even give a shit enough to bother about releasing anymore of my mind fodder.
i am also sick of these motivational bastards that i meet at every turn, telling me that hey, its gonna work out, etc, etc, along those lines of
tired responses when they cant think of anything else to say.
"Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell."
Wide awake
and keeping distance from my soul.
I am scared like you."
and let me finish off with some Tool.
and thats pretty much the summary.
so much for the speech on being free with emotional outbursts.
my contradictions abound to the point that i really feel like i've lost myself.
"teenage angst has paid off well, now i'm bored and old.
self appointed judges judge, more than they have sold"
obviously let me start with Nirvana.
i feel like i've seen it all, that all i could experience, grow from, be nurtured by, educated by, its all come and gone. my indifference is a cancer that festers and bleeds, and poisons me with blackness. okay so that was
abit emo cheese, but fuck it i'm venting.
and this is the result, a mindload of trivia and corporate etiquette. and i feel old, like i'm terminal, that illness striking anytime wouldnt
surprise me.
that i have been judged by people who only see the flaws of someone when they cant get their way, or leech of them anymore, enter workking life and its key players. superiority of course rules, and thats why i'm now looking for another job.
"turn around you say, scuse' the tude' but i haven't eaten today,
and my eyes are turning gray"
Alice in Chains for the 2nd dose.
i am constantly told by everyone that i need to change my attitude.
why because i'm not a fucking unfeeling fish person?
that maybe i havent stereotyped myself into the rest of society's fucking mindset, of 'oooh lets not think/feel/be human'.
i get emotional goddammit. situations affect me, my outburts define my emotions, and i refuse to stifle them.
fuck you twats and your stupid walls. their superficialty can only get them so far, and yet i'll still lose out in the scheme of things.
there's so much i need to get off my chest. but i cant even give a shit enough to bother about releasing anymore of my mind fodder.
i am also sick of these motivational bastards that i meet at every turn, telling me that hey, its gonna work out, etc, etc, along those lines of
tired responses when they cant think of anything else to say.
"Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell."
Wide awake
and keeping distance from my soul.
I am scared like you."
and let me finish off with some Tool.
and thats pretty much the summary.
so much for the speech on being free with emotional outbursts.
my contradictions abound to the point that i really feel like i've lost myself.