(no subject)
they say regression is a part of recovery, but it's not an expectation. one day, minute, week you're feeling well, and the next you see your hours of progress crash into lifting one pinky or murmuring one word. perhaps it is not so dramatic for others, but it's been so for me.
apparently i was not as ready for the movies as i thought; nevertheless, i am not disappointed for having gone, and i do not regret taking the chance.
this week i am very tired, physically, which is a hint that i need to slow down with some things. i am impatient, but i must be guided by my body in this. my mind, however, is constantly racing; it's exhilarating.
i am disappointed that there are those who are speaking and have spoken unkindly about me, but i cannot control how others feel and, more frankly, i do not wish to try. in truth, i haven't the energy for conflict or the desire for drama, and i've forgiven all indiscretions against me. there is no point in holding on to these things.
it is my fervent hope that people would come directly to me for information about my life and habits and such, either in the past or in the present, but if they choose to withdraw and listen to hearsay, i cannot control that either. these people are welcome to their rumors if they find comfort there, and i mean that warmly and sincerely. we all must do what is necessary to protect ourselves, and some people would rather rumors than truth; it's a part of being human. i can't judge a person for that. beyond this, i do not see the point to playing silly social games. i will be upfront with you. if you choose to act otherwise toward me, that is your choice to live with.
life is too short, folks. trust me. embrace it and others. forgive, forget, move on.