Final Negotiations
The last two days have been our final negotiations and they can be summed up in one phrase: Cluster fuck. Syria was invaded by the US, I now have two Syrians in my fucking palace, with one that keeps trying to get in and one that WON'T get in it (I have no other use for her and she'd be dead if she stayed, but nooooooo).
In all seriousness, the scenario was this: A Madrid-style bombing occurs in Chi-town and there's connections to Syrians. Syria is told to extradite them immediately or tanks will be rolling to Damascus. We had Syria, Israel, Lebanon, Egypt, Iran, Jordan, and I was Saudi Arabia. Firstly, our Syria was totally inept. One, apparently can't write and never read her entire position paper and the other one just gave up and pouted the entire time. Lebanon was told in their instructions that the United States would guaruntee the removal of Syrian troops, so any idea that was proposed was "The US won't go for it!". I was in top form, proposing a solution similar to the Pan-AM flights where suspects would be held in a third country,the trial would occur in this country in accordance with US laws, a US judge, and a US prosecution. Additionally, we would put our oil behind any agreement, implying possible sanctions should the US invade. I talked to Lebanon and was back dealing, getting them to drop their line for talks with Syria, talked to Syria to agree to talks with Lebanon, and was about to offer Israel a return to Haffaz Assad's proposal for Golan withdrawal when all hell broke lose.
Iran and the idiot mediators (Egypt) were talking about tribunals and international courts (ICC and ad hoc), my partner wasn't able to defend our proposal (she's a year behind with no IR experience), and the other proposal of straight- up extradition was going up against it. Sam freaked out and was pissed off about the back-room stuff, which the mediators fucked up with attaching it to tribunals and actual peace settlements rather than proposing talks. Israel came to dominate, with everyone hemming and hawing over whatever they said. Eventually, Egypt and Syria were getting pissed because I refused to recognize Israel until they pulled back to 1967 borders and I storrmed out. During this time the mediators started negotiating an oil deal for me and Israel and I came back and told them to go fuck themselves. When we did the debriefings and people were actually listening, with my attempts to pressure Lebanon, Israel, and Syria plus the third-party with Saudi Oil threats, they couldn't critique it. Apparently the person in charge said the US wouldn't sign anything that was less than extradition, but with oil threats behind it along with parties open for negotiation with Israel, plus the tacit understanding of good faith negotiations (not accurate, but nonetheless, the idea was to identify and placate interests), I had it. It sure is tough negotiating when people don't know the history and relations, plus are unaware of world affairs (You all know how Bush is in SUCH an international tribunal mood as of late).
Nonetheless, it's been a good experience. I have undoubtedly learned a lot and it's good to know I can skool grad school people as well as elite-east coast university types. I'm going to be doing some heavy recruiting for this at J-Mad next year and I would imagine we could get a hell of a group. Of course, without Rubner's 324a, it'll be hard to find people that can work within the prior knowledge framework that I did. I loved hearing grad students say "I don't know- ask Mike, he knows everything about this stuff" (When did Nasser come to power? Who is the current and former President of Syria? Most of you can probably come up with at least a close answer for these).
Overall, I think I've learned a great deal more about the policy end of this and all the problems. The former US Ambassador to Israel, Martin Indyk, was one of my favorite speakers. Biased? Yes. Unfair? Undoubtedly. An asshole? Unquestionable. Important? Without a doubt. He admited to being biased, but he also said "At least we cared". Someone compared it to saying "Yes, I am pissing in your hair, but I care". Not entirely inaccurate, but the point is, the United States under Clinton was undoubtedly biased, but had the initiative to work on these efforts. My favorite speaker is still Saeb Erekat, the Palestinian negotiator. If the mediation committee works out for MSUMUN, I'm going to share his mistakes with the delegates. It'll be interesting to see in what way they will account for them.
The itenerary for the rest of the week goes something like this:
Talent Show tonight (no partner, they don't get the PKK took my Baby Away)
Fri
Wrap up in the AM
Graduation Ceremony (Hopefully a pic with the former President of Cyprus)
Graduation Dinner
Possibly a club, but trying to find a Karaookee bar (IIMCR Rendition of Sweet Caroline, anybody?)
Sat
Hanging out around the city (if anyone wants anything, e-mail me ASAP or forever hold your peace)
Taxi around midnight to Larnaka
Plane leaves at 4 AM
Sun
Arrive in Heatherow around 8 AM
Hopefully take care of luggage and basic check in
A few hours lurking around + lunch in London
Head back to the airport around 1
Take off for US of A at 4
Arrive in Newark around 11
Monday
Leave Newark (this is going to be hell) around 6 AM
Arrive in DTW around 8 AM
Home a little before 10
Pass out
Up at 3PM
Bed at 3AM
Tues
No work, day off, hopefully recovered from jet lag
Wed
Start Work
---------------------
I might update in London, I might not. Anyways, I'll see all ya' assholes soon.
In all seriousness, the scenario was this: A Madrid-style bombing occurs in Chi-town and there's connections to Syrians. Syria is told to extradite them immediately or tanks will be rolling to Damascus. We had Syria, Israel, Lebanon, Egypt, Iran, Jordan, and I was Saudi Arabia. Firstly, our Syria was totally inept. One, apparently can't write and never read her entire position paper and the other one just gave up and pouted the entire time. Lebanon was told in their instructions that the United States would guaruntee the removal of Syrian troops, so any idea that was proposed was "The US won't go for it!". I was in top form, proposing a solution similar to the Pan-AM flights where suspects would be held in a third country,the trial would occur in this country in accordance with US laws, a US judge, and a US prosecution. Additionally, we would put our oil behind any agreement, implying possible sanctions should the US invade. I talked to Lebanon and was back dealing, getting them to drop their line for talks with Syria, talked to Syria to agree to talks with Lebanon, and was about to offer Israel a return to Haffaz Assad's proposal for Golan withdrawal when all hell broke lose.
Iran and the idiot mediators (Egypt) were talking about tribunals and international courts (ICC and ad hoc), my partner wasn't able to defend our proposal (she's a year behind with no IR experience), and the other proposal of straight- up extradition was going up against it. Sam freaked out and was pissed off about the back-room stuff, which the mediators fucked up with attaching it to tribunals and actual peace settlements rather than proposing talks. Israel came to dominate, with everyone hemming and hawing over whatever they said. Eventually, Egypt and Syria were getting pissed because I refused to recognize Israel until they pulled back to 1967 borders and I storrmed out. During this time the mediators started negotiating an oil deal for me and Israel and I came back and told them to go fuck themselves. When we did the debriefings and people were actually listening, with my attempts to pressure Lebanon, Israel, and Syria plus the third-party with Saudi Oil threats, they couldn't critique it. Apparently the person in charge said the US wouldn't sign anything that was less than extradition, but with oil threats behind it along with parties open for negotiation with Israel, plus the tacit understanding of good faith negotiations (not accurate, but nonetheless, the idea was to identify and placate interests), I had it. It sure is tough negotiating when people don't know the history and relations, plus are unaware of world affairs (You all know how Bush is in SUCH an international tribunal mood as of late).
Nonetheless, it's been a good experience. I have undoubtedly learned a lot and it's good to know I can skool grad school people as well as elite-east coast university types. I'm going to be doing some heavy recruiting for this at J-Mad next year and I would imagine we could get a hell of a group. Of course, without Rubner's 324a, it'll be hard to find people that can work within the prior knowledge framework that I did. I loved hearing grad students say "I don't know- ask Mike, he knows everything about this stuff" (When did Nasser come to power? Who is the current and former President of Syria? Most of you can probably come up with at least a close answer for these).
Overall, I think I've learned a great deal more about the policy end of this and all the problems. The former US Ambassador to Israel, Martin Indyk, was one of my favorite speakers. Biased? Yes. Unfair? Undoubtedly. An asshole? Unquestionable. Important? Without a doubt. He admited to being biased, but he also said "At least we cared". Someone compared it to saying "Yes, I am pissing in your hair, but I care". Not entirely inaccurate, but the point is, the United States under Clinton was undoubtedly biased, but had the initiative to work on these efforts. My favorite speaker is still Saeb Erekat, the Palestinian negotiator. If the mediation committee works out for MSUMUN, I'm going to share his mistakes with the delegates. It'll be interesting to see in what way they will account for them.
The itenerary for the rest of the week goes something like this:
Talent Show tonight (no partner, they don't get the PKK took my Baby Away)
Fri
Wrap up in the AM
Graduation Ceremony (Hopefully a pic with the former President of Cyprus)
Graduation Dinner
Possibly a club, but trying to find a Karaookee bar (IIMCR Rendition of Sweet Caroline, anybody?)
Sat
Hanging out around the city (if anyone wants anything, e-mail me ASAP or forever hold your peace)
Taxi around midnight to Larnaka
Plane leaves at 4 AM
Sun
Arrive in Heatherow around 8 AM
Hopefully take care of luggage and basic check in
A few hours lurking around + lunch in London
Head back to the airport around 1
Take off for US of A at 4
Arrive in Newark around 11
Monday
Leave Newark (this is going to be hell) around 6 AM
Arrive in DTW around 8 AM
Home a little before 10
Pass out
Up at 3PM
Bed at 3AM
Tues
No work, day off, hopefully recovered from jet lag
Wed
Start Work
---------------------
I might update in London, I might not. Anyways, I'll see all ya' assholes soon.