(no subject)
so. i have some thoughts on podfic reading, and if i don't just throw them out there, i'm going to stew over them forever, just like my thoughts on all sorts of other things that are important to me. things that i have both strong political beliefs about, and emotional responses to. subjects where those external beliefs and internal responses are in conflict. (for the record, many of my emotional responses have to do with shame, fear, anxiety, belief that i shouldn't take pride in things/be arrogant, should just let other, better, smarter, prettier, more talented people do their thing. i'm not looking for reassurances here, i already know that's bullshit.)
so here is some emotion, and some philosophy, and we'll see if it makes any sense.
pennyplainknits posted today about something that's been brewing for a while, about the chilling phenomena that some prescriptive podfic meta and criticism has had on her enjoyment of being a podfic reader. i feel that too, despite my attempts to constantly work against that prescriptivism, despite the way that i have worked to ignore that. i don't think the meta is bad, i don't think it is meant to be harmful, and in fact, i think that if the podfic community was a different sort of environment, one where there was more meta, more feedback, and more value put on the work of podfic as a fanwork rather than as a service or alternate format, i think it could be helpful. your mileage may vary! i really believe that. i really do believe that talking about what makes good and bad podfic, for you as a listener, in your opinion, is great. i even think that to a degree, talking about the general standards and rules within a particular canon's podfic is awesome -- i mean, maybe, since i'm staring down the audiofic archive 24/7, getting six different google alerts, emailing back and forth with people who recorded fic in 1995 on cassette or whatever, i am standing the only place i can see the diversity. but yes, different canon's podfic has different standards -- for use of music and sound effects, for whether or not to edit at all, for how they share their recordings, for what squicks them, for what is qualitatively good. this is not a big unified thing, and i actually think that's pretty wonderful and amazing. i don't want it to be all the same. i want each voice to tell where she's coming from, accent and pacing and choices. the ones who choose to throw their work into streams, and to work them into podcasts. the ones who disallow archiving entirely, and let their links die. the ones who only share with friends, or closed communities, or who disallow comments entirely. i think it's really cool. i think the diversity of Fandom-the-phonomenon as an overarching collection of fandoms-as-communities is staggering and awe-inspiring and so so human. that diversity makes me proud to be here, to be human, to be alive, and to be part of it. it makes me want to speak aloud and join the conversation -- not to drown anything else out, but to add another thread, another facet to glitter in the light.
my politics, there you have it.
structurally, i should now contrast that with my emotions, right? sorry, give me an f on this essay. i'm just going to make some observations about podfic. like penny said about her essay, i speak for me. this is my perspective, not some sort of truth.
on podfic, and bodies, and stating your opinions:
you can't divide podfic out from the body. it's weird that way, and suspicious, and yes, there are people who are squicked by that (which is valid, just saying). sound is evocative, it's sensual, it's enveloping. it's intangible and physical at the same time. when that sound is someone's voice, it's attached to them -- to your idea of who they are, to their emotions. it's incredibly intimate. it's pressing against your body and sliding into your mind. being read to is a caretaking thing -- we do it for children, for people we want to soothe, for people we love.
but there are other sides to both of those ideas. that paragraph above? that's the listener's side. we always seem to put the listener first. i think there are a lot of reasons for that, and i don't think it's good or bad or indifferent on its own, but i do think it's part of what makes this all so complicated. think about other fanworks for a moment: think about how the role of the audience, the work of the audience is devalued. this is the fanwork where the consumer has a primacy that's lacking elsewhere. i actually think that's pretty great, that people who listen to podfic are more equal parts of the podfic community, that they don't silence themselves with statements (as much) about how they aren't a writer and therefore aren't a real contributing member of fandom, or they watch vids but don't make them and therefore have to rec or write meta or *something* to give back. we're in this conversation, and i think it's fine if some of us don't let their words or imaginings out of their heads. i think it's fine to enjoy. i think that's what it's meant for.
erm. i have digressed, again. so. flipsides. it's my body that's out there. how weird is that? how offputting and wonderful and terrifying? i'm out there, in mp3 form, trailing fingers gently over listener's foreheads, patting them on the back, nudging them with an elbow. whispering in their ear while they do data entry or ride the bus or fall asleep. i like that idea. it's not a main reason why i read podfic, but it's a nice thought. it's also a strange position of vulnerability. i am reaching out with my body, in this odd, detached way. i don't really expect to feel anything back: it's a one-way street, this pseudo-physicality. but that doesn't mean it doesn't come with its own set of body issues, and it certainly doesn't mean that my body isn't judged, constantly, just like offline life, just like walking down the street. but the combination of the physical remove and the different environment somehow makes it all much more difficult to deal with. if someone comments on my body (as they do, at work, at home, out, indirectly in magazines, newspapers, on television, in stores), i know how to deal with that. i may not be *good* at dealing with that, much of the time, but it's what happens, it's what has always happened. don'tfrownstandupstraightyoulooktireddoyoureallywanttowearthathaveyoulostweighthaveyougainedweight. and that's the friendly stuff. but with podfic, you have this weird alien middle-space. it looks like feedback, it looks like concrit, it looks like something we know how to deal with, a comment on something we've created and set loose, something separate from the self. for me at least, it's a comment on my body, my voice, the way i am sitting in a room, the way in which i move as i read. it doesn't ever become separate. this isn't good or bad, it just is. it's interesting. but it means that while a comment on a story or a post that i write makes me think about what i said/created, a comment on a podfic makes me think about me. so when i get a positive comment about a reading that remarks that reading is cool and dispassionate, i have a hard time not hearing that they are saying *i* am cool and dispassionate. it's weird, and fascinating, and again: neither good nor bad.
so that's the body part, and it reinforces the other part. podfic is (usually? often? mostly?) a very intimate way to rec a fic. reccing is a very self-revelatory fanwork in itself -- you're showing what you value in a story, what you like, what you respond to. and when that rec takes the form of a podfic, you are demonstrating those things with emphasis and emotion, tears and laughter. but you lose what other reccers generally have, which is an ability to introduce their caveats. this is partly a format issue, and partly about the hierarchical status of the author. podfic etiquette (in most circles, not all -- again, we're a low volume fanwork, but we're sprawlingly diverse) generally demands that the author give permission for a story to be recorded. sometimes, the readers give the author even more control over the result, giving over the ability to post it, to regulate where and how it will be distributed, and to destroy it if they wish. this is, well, something i will address more later, to do with whether podfic is a fanwork, or just a format. but my point is that it's usually accepted, unquestioningly, that the reader is creating a podfic at the whim of the author. that makes it very different than a standard rec. if i love a story enough to record it, enough to ask author permission, and enough to share it, then i don't want to risk making a criticism and having my work destroyed and my voice silenced in return. (erm, worst case scenario? yes. has it happened, though? yes. not to me.) anyway. reccing is stating an opinion, in public, and that's always dangerous, and it can be frightening. you get a distance when you're doing that with letters on a screen in a matter of hours that isn't the same as doing it with your voice over days or weeks of recording and editing and processing. (obviously, the rec part applies less when you are talking podfic done for auction/charity. but it still feels like a rec, inside, to the reader, and i know from conversations and from experience that can feel very uncomfortable. it is what it is, though.)
podfic and personal enjoyment:
so i'm hesitant to say this, because i feel like it's hedonistic, and i feel like i'm going to be called a liar, and i feel like it's selfish. but i record podfic mainly for me. not to listen to: i don't actually listen to much podfic. but for the act of reading a story i love aloud. i get a lot out of that. my perceptions of the story change, my ideas of the writing, the way i process it. when it's something i love, the writing -- oh man, it's like rolling around in the ways that the words fit together, how they clip and jar and fall. the occasional perfect sentence, the temptation to mimic a character affectionately, the ability to dance along to the rhythm of the words while you speak them aloud. i choose stories for myself, because i have read and reread them, because i want to reread them in a deeper way, to dig and find more. (as an aside, i have seen authors upset that someone would make a recording before asking permission to do so, and this is one of several reasons why that's actually a reasonable thing to do: because they are starting from a position of private pleasure. there are other reasons, and more compelling reasons, but that's a matter for another post.) it's like singing to yourself, when you're alone. you're not doing it for the pleasure of others, and you aren't doing it to suck up to the songwriter, and you're not doing it to profit -- except emotionally, except for happiness. you're doing it for love of the original, and for love of yourself. i can't sing. i like to! but seriously, it is not something other people are going to get pleasure from as well. i can talk, though, and i can get as much pleasure for myself from talking as i get from singing, but hey! bonus. maybe i can share that pleasure. i don't, always. i have recorded podfic that i have loved reading, but never uploaded to let anyone else listen. i have recorded podfic and shared only with a few friends. i have recorded podfic and not told anyone, and just set it free. i've posted work that i know people listened to, that got comments, and that i don't know if anyone ever listened to, that got none. some of the ones with no comments or no audience were the most fun, and i don't regret them. i kind of love them best. they are smiling in an empty room, dancing alone, napping in the sun. they're graffiti of joy on the walls of fandom, sometimes, and they are me, loving a story, and counting off the reasons why.
podfic as a derivative work:
so. this is an edgy one for me. the term derivative is pretty negatively weighted, and it's one that i like to avoid, but i think it needs addressing. does it transform? is it transformative? it definitely changes the original, it definitely adds to it -- i am constantly startled by the way that interpretation comes through in podfic readings. listening to recordings of things i have written? they are not what they are in my head. it's really jarring! oh man. hey, guess what? authorial intent is pretty meaningless! (ymmv.) but. yeah. strictly speaking, i suspect that it's a derivative work by nature. as are most performances, if not all. that doesn't mean that an actor, or a singer, or a musician brings nothing to the performance, and it doesn't mean that the podfic reader brings nothing, either. they make choices. they see the story, the narrative, the dialog, differently, and they bring their interpretations to bear. they change the story. this is why i am so very in favor of multiple recordings of single stories -- they are different. it isn't just timbre of voice and regional accent and sound quality. it's performance and shading and thought. it's work. it has value.
if an author gafiates from fandom, there is a 50/50 chance that she will ask the podfic of her stories to be pulled down. that's someone else's fanwork. where else does that happen? who else runs that risk, every time? if
cesperanza pulled down written by the victors, i don't think there would be much of a ruckus if she also demanded that the podfic be deleted. it's an archive of her story. it's hers, right? they are her words. i don't see a way that all of the other derivations and transformations of her story, the tags and poetry and artwork and vids, could be affected by the same argument. they have a similarly tight connection, but the work that went into them that was not hers is valued as well. to return to the actor/performer parallel, what if, um...what if p.d. james woke up today and decided that her writing career was over, and she didn't want anything more published, or any more copies printed? and then she said, oh yeah, also -- children of men, the movie, needs to also cease all distribution. it can no longer be shown, or printed, or clipped. this is a messy analogy! but my point is, that movie? it's her words. but the movie itself is the work of alfonso cuarón, of clive owen, of chiwetel ejiofor, of people who brought value to a derivative work, who make it stand distinct from its source. there'd be a lawsuit, and i have a hard time thinking that opinion would be on the side of ms. james. fandom is different, in that we are a community, not a set of commodities and products. i am not a fan of capitalism! but at least in the case of for-profit derivatives, it means that everyone's interests are lobbied for, that there's a mechanism to protect the results of their work. i have never seen a podfic reader argue against destroying her own labor. i have never seen a podfic reader do anything other than shrug, and be sad, and say "it's the author's right."
there's something really wrong about that. i don't know how to fix it. i feel the same way, sometimes. of course i don't want to threaten your control of your own work. but i want to not feel like you have control of mine, too.
podfic as a service, and as a format:
wow. i am pretty sick of this one. also, i am running out of steam.
i get emails all the time that say "how do i find a reader to record my fic as podfic? i want to make it available to my readers that way."
on the face of it, this is a perfectly valid question. but. well. it's also, as i have pointed out, a lot like "how do i find someone to rec my fic?" if they like it, and they are a reccer, they're going to rec it. you can't tell them to. you can't 'hire' them to. you can put the fic into their path, you can indicate that it isn't a big secret, you can keep it unlocked, you can do your best to write well and hope that people will enjoy it. with podfic, you can explicitly state that you are cool with podficcing. (and, well, you can bid on a podficcer for charity and get them to read your stuff, that's a cool way to do it. or ask a friend to do it as a gift. also very cool.)
there's an attitude with podfic, in some circles, that it is a service that readers should be grateful to be allowed to provide. this is linked to the idea that they are allowed to record stories at the sufferance of the author, that they are recording in order to grab at some piece of reflected glory that by right belongs only to the author. maybe that's true sometimes! i would be willing to bet it is. but not usually, and not always, and i cannot imagine it is true of anyone who makes more than one or two recordings. it's just too much fucking work for that, with too little recognition.
yes, podfic is a story in another shape, one you consume differently than words on a screen. it *is* a different format. but that doesn't mean that's all it is. sheet music and a violin performance are not direct equivalents, even though they are different ways to express the same notes. one is not a subsidiary of the other. they intertwine. but they are not interdependent. if every recording disappears, the sheet music can go on. and if every copy of the sheet music disappears, the recordings of the performance go on.
i also often get emails offering to send the audiofic archive recordings of fic made with screenreaders. i see this in communities as well. it's usually couched as a way to save the reader from drudgery. the drudgery of converting a story to audio format. like software that will batch-convert html to ebook files.
both of these things erase the reader's contribution, and erase the idea that podfic is actually a creative work. that it's a fanwork. i find that really offensive. i do not believe it is ever meant that way. it's disheartening.
i'm tired of the ways that we minimize our own contributions, and the ways that we say we don't deserve our place. i'm tired of being told i'm too involved in 'boosterism' in the podfic community, and i'm tired of seeing people told they are doing it wrong. i'm tired of people saying that some people have accents and some don't. i'm tired of women saying their bodies are ugly, of being ashamed of their voices, and of the things they love, and of hiding their joy for fear of derision. i'm sorry that penny is tired, and the other podfic readers who have privately told me similar things, and i'm sorry that i'm tired, too.
i'll get back up again, though. this is my fight. i want to hear all of the voices. however they wish to speak.
originally posted at http://general-jinjur.dreamwidth.org/642493.html. possibly there is commentversation there? let's see:
so here is some emotion, and some philosophy, and we'll see if it makes any sense.
pennyplainknits posted today about something that's been brewing for a while, about the chilling phenomena that some prescriptive podfic meta and criticism has had on her enjoyment of being a podfic reader. i feel that too, despite my attempts to constantly work against that prescriptivism, despite the way that i have worked to ignore that. i don't think the meta is bad, i don't think it is meant to be harmful, and in fact, i think that if the podfic community was a different sort of environment, one where there was more meta, more feedback, and more value put on the work of podfic as a fanwork rather than as a service or alternate format, i think it could be helpful. your mileage may vary! i really believe that. i really do believe that talking about what makes good and bad podfic, for you as a listener, in your opinion, is great. i even think that to a degree, talking about the general standards and rules within a particular canon's podfic is awesome -- i mean, maybe, since i'm staring down the audiofic archive 24/7, getting six different google alerts, emailing back and forth with people who recorded fic in 1995 on cassette or whatever, i am standing the only place i can see the diversity. but yes, different canon's podfic has different standards -- for use of music and sound effects, for whether or not to edit at all, for how they share their recordings, for what squicks them, for what is qualitatively good. this is not a big unified thing, and i actually think that's pretty wonderful and amazing. i don't want it to be all the same. i want each voice to tell where she's coming from, accent and pacing and choices. the ones who choose to throw their work into streams, and to work them into podcasts. the ones who disallow archiving entirely, and let their links die. the ones who only share with friends, or closed communities, or who disallow comments entirely. i think it's really cool. i think the diversity of Fandom-the-phonomenon as an overarching collection of fandoms-as-communities is staggering and awe-inspiring and so so human. that diversity makes me proud to be here, to be human, to be alive, and to be part of it. it makes me want to speak aloud and join the conversation -- not to drown anything else out, but to add another thread, another facet to glitter in the light.
my politics, there you have it.
structurally, i should now contrast that with my emotions, right? sorry, give me an f on this essay. i'm just going to make some observations about podfic. like penny said about her essay, i speak for me. this is my perspective, not some sort of truth.
on podfic, and bodies, and stating your opinions:
you can't divide podfic out from the body. it's weird that way, and suspicious, and yes, there are people who are squicked by that (which is valid, just saying). sound is evocative, it's sensual, it's enveloping. it's intangible and physical at the same time. when that sound is someone's voice, it's attached to them -- to your idea of who they are, to their emotions. it's incredibly intimate. it's pressing against your body and sliding into your mind. being read to is a caretaking thing -- we do it for children, for people we want to soothe, for people we love.
but there are other sides to both of those ideas. that paragraph above? that's the listener's side. we always seem to put the listener first. i think there are a lot of reasons for that, and i don't think it's good or bad or indifferent on its own, but i do think it's part of what makes this all so complicated. think about other fanworks for a moment: think about how the role of the audience, the work of the audience is devalued. this is the fanwork where the consumer has a primacy that's lacking elsewhere. i actually think that's pretty great, that people who listen to podfic are more equal parts of the podfic community, that they don't silence themselves with statements (as much) about how they aren't a writer and therefore aren't a real contributing member of fandom, or they watch vids but don't make them and therefore have to rec or write meta or *something* to give back. we're in this conversation, and i think it's fine if some of us don't let their words or imaginings out of their heads. i think it's fine to enjoy. i think that's what it's meant for.
erm. i have digressed, again. so. flipsides. it's my body that's out there. how weird is that? how offputting and wonderful and terrifying? i'm out there, in mp3 form, trailing fingers gently over listener's foreheads, patting them on the back, nudging them with an elbow. whispering in their ear while they do data entry or ride the bus or fall asleep. i like that idea. it's not a main reason why i read podfic, but it's a nice thought. it's also a strange position of vulnerability. i am reaching out with my body, in this odd, detached way. i don't really expect to feel anything back: it's a one-way street, this pseudo-physicality. but that doesn't mean it doesn't come with its own set of body issues, and it certainly doesn't mean that my body isn't judged, constantly, just like offline life, just like walking down the street. but the combination of the physical remove and the different environment somehow makes it all much more difficult to deal with. if someone comments on my body (as they do, at work, at home, out, indirectly in magazines, newspapers, on television, in stores), i know how to deal with that. i may not be *good* at dealing with that, much of the time, but it's what happens, it's what has always happened. don'tfrownstandupstraightyoulooktireddoyoureallywanttowearthathaveyoulostweighthaveyougainedweight. and that's the friendly stuff. but with podfic, you have this weird alien middle-space. it looks like feedback, it looks like concrit, it looks like something we know how to deal with, a comment on something we've created and set loose, something separate from the self. for me at least, it's a comment on my body, my voice, the way i am sitting in a room, the way in which i move as i read. it doesn't ever become separate. this isn't good or bad, it just is. it's interesting. but it means that while a comment on a story or a post that i write makes me think about what i said/created, a comment on a podfic makes me think about me. so when i get a positive comment about a reading that remarks that reading is cool and dispassionate, i have a hard time not hearing that they are saying *i* am cool and dispassionate. it's weird, and fascinating, and again: neither good nor bad.
so that's the body part, and it reinforces the other part. podfic is (usually? often? mostly?) a very intimate way to rec a fic. reccing is a very self-revelatory fanwork in itself -- you're showing what you value in a story, what you like, what you respond to. and when that rec takes the form of a podfic, you are demonstrating those things with emphasis and emotion, tears and laughter. but you lose what other reccers generally have, which is an ability to introduce their caveats. this is partly a format issue, and partly about the hierarchical status of the author. podfic etiquette (in most circles, not all -- again, we're a low volume fanwork, but we're sprawlingly diverse) generally demands that the author give permission for a story to be recorded. sometimes, the readers give the author even more control over the result, giving over the ability to post it, to regulate where and how it will be distributed, and to destroy it if they wish. this is, well, something i will address more later, to do with whether podfic is a fanwork, or just a format. but my point is that it's usually accepted, unquestioningly, that the reader is creating a podfic at the whim of the author. that makes it very different than a standard rec. if i love a story enough to record it, enough to ask author permission, and enough to share it, then i don't want to risk making a criticism and having my work destroyed and my voice silenced in return. (erm, worst case scenario? yes. has it happened, though? yes. not to me.) anyway. reccing is stating an opinion, in public, and that's always dangerous, and it can be frightening. you get a distance when you're doing that with letters on a screen in a matter of hours that isn't the same as doing it with your voice over days or weeks of recording and editing and processing. (obviously, the rec part applies less when you are talking podfic done for auction/charity. but it still feels like a rec, inside, to the reader, and i know from conversations and from experience that can feel very uncomfortable. it is what it is, though.)
podfic and personal enjoyment:
so i'm hesitant to say this, because i feel like it's hedonistic, and i feel like i'm going to be called a liar, and i feel like it's selfish. but i record podfic mainly for me. not to listen to: i don't actually listen to much podfic. but for the act of reading a story i love aloud. i get a lot out of that. my perceptions of the story change, my ideas of the writing, the way i process it. when it's something i love, the writing -- oh man, it's like rolling around in the ways that the words fit together, how they clip and jar and fall. the occasional perfect sentence, the temptation to mimic a character affectionately, the ability to dance along to the rhythm of the words while you speak them aloud. i choose stories for myself, because i have read and reread them, because i want to reread them in a deeper way, to dig and find more. (as an aside, i have seen authors upset that someone would make a recording before asking permission to do so, and this is one of several reasons why that's actually a reasonable thing to do: because they are starting from a position of private pleasure. there are other reasons, and more compelling reasons, but that's a matter for another post.) it's like singing to yourself, when you're alone. you're not doing it for the pleasure of others, and you aren't doing it to suck up to the songwriter, and you're not doing it to profit -- except emotionally, except for happiness. you're doing it for love of the original, and for love of yourself. i can't sing. i like to! but seriously, it is not something other people are going to get pleasure from as well. i can talk, though, and i can get as much pleasure for myself from talking as i get from singing, but hey! bonus. maybe i can share that pleasure. i don't, always. i have recorded podfic that i have loved reading, but never uploaded to let anyone else listen. i have recorded podfic and shared only with a few friends. i have recorded podfic and not told anyone, and just set it free. i've posted work that i know people listened to, that got comments, and that i don't know if anyone ever listened to, that got none. some of the ones with no comments or no audience were the most fun, and i don't regret them. i kind of love them best. they are smiling in an empty room, dancing alone, napping in the sun. they're graffiti of joy on the walls of fandom, sometimes, and they are me, loving a story, and counting off the reasons why.
podfic as a derivative work:
so. this is an edgy one for me. the term derivative is pretty negatively weighted, and it's one that i like to avoid, but i think it needs addressing. does it transform? is it transformative? it definitely changes the original, it definitely adds to it -- i am constantly startled by the way that interpretation comes through in podfic readings. listening to recordings of things i have written? they are not what they are in my head. it's really jarring! oh man. hey, guess what? authorial intent is pretty meaningless! (ymmv.) but. yeah. strictly speaking, i suspect that it's a derivative work by nature. as are most performances, if not all. that doesn't mean that an actor, or a singer, or a musician brings nothing to the performance, and it doesn't mean that the podfic reader brings nothing, either. they make choices. they see the story, the narrative, the dialog, differently, and they bring their interpretations to bear. they change the story. this is why i am so very in favor of multiple recordings of single stories -- they are different. it isn't just timbre of voice and regional accent and sound quality. it's performance and shading and thought. it's work. it has value.
if an author gafiates from fandom, there is a 50/50 chance that she will ask the podfic of her stories to be pulled down. that's someone else's fanwork. where else does that happen? who else runs that risk, every time? if
cesperanza pulled down written by the victors, i don't think there would be much of a ruckus if she also demanded that the podfic be deleted. it's an archive of her story. it's hers, right? they are her words. i don't see a way that all of the other derivations and transformations of her story, the tags and poetry and artwork and vids, could be affected by the same argument. they have a similarly tight connection, but the work that went into them that was not hers is valued as well. to return to the actor/performer parallel, what if, um...what if p.d. james woke up today and decided that her writing career was over, and she didn't want anything more published, or any more copies printed? and then she said, oh yeah, also -- children of men, the movie, needs to also cease all distribution. it can no longer be shown, or printed, or clipped. this is a messy analogy! but my point is, that movie? it's her words. but the movie itself is the work of alfonso cuarón, of clive owen, of chiwetel ejiofor, of people who brought value to a derivative work, who make it stand distinct from its source. there'd be a lawsuit, and i have a hard time thinking that opinion would be on the side of ms. james. fandom is different, in that we are a community, not a set of commodities and products. i am not a fan of capitalism! but at least in the case of for-profit derivatives, it means that everyone's interests are lobbied for, that there's a mechanism to protect the results of their work. i have never seen a podfic reader argue against destroying her own labor. i have never seen a podfic reader do anything other than shrug, and be sad, and say "it's the author's right."
there's something really wrong about that. i don't know how to fix it. i feel the same way, sometimes. of course i don't want to threaten your control of your own work. but i want to not feel like you have control of mine, too.
podfic as a service, and as a format:
wow. i am pretty sick of this one. also, i am running out of steam.
i get emails all the time that say "how do i find a reader to record my fic as podfic? i want to make it available to my readers that way."
on the face of it, this is a perfectly valid question. but. well. it's also, as i have pointed out, a lot like "how do i find someone to rec my fic?" if they like it, and they are a reccer, they're going to rec it. you can't tell them to. you can't 'hire' them to. you can put the fic into their path, you can indicate that it isn't a big secret, you can keep it unlocked, you can do your best to write well and hope that people will enjoy it. with podfic, you can explicitly state that you are cool with podficcing. (and, well, you can bid on a podficcer for charity and get them to read your stuff, that's a cool way to do it. or ask a friend to do it as a gift. also very cool.)
there's an attitude with podfic, in some circles, that it is a service that readers should be grateful to be allowed to provide. this is linked to the idea that they are allowed to record stories at the sufferance of the author, that they are recording in order to grab at some piece of reflected glory that by right belongs only to the author. maybe that's true sometimes! i would be willing to bet it is. but not usually, and not always, and i cannot imagine it is true of anyone who makes more than one or two recordings. it's just too much fucking work for that, with too little recognition.
yes, podfic is a story in another shape, one you consume differently than words on a screen. it *is* a different format. but that doesn't mean that's all it is. sheet music and a violin performance are not direct equivalents, even though they are different ways to express the same notes. one is not a subsidiary of the other. they intertwine. but they are not interdependent. if every recording disappears, the sheet music can go on. and if every copy of the sheet music disappears, the recordings of the performance go on.
i also often get emails offering to send the audiofic archive recordings of fic made with screenreaders. i see this in communities as well. it's usually couched as a way to save the reader from drudgery. the drudgery of converting a story to audio format. like software that will batch-convert html to ebook files.
both of these things erase the reader's contribution, and erase the idea that podfic is actually a creative work. that it's a fanwork. i find that really offensive. i do not believe it is ever meant that way. it's disheartening.
i'm tired of the ways that we minimize our own contributions, and the ways that we say we don't deserve our place. i'm tired of being told i'm too involved in 'boosterism' in the podfic community, and i'm tired of seeing people told they are doing it wrong. i'm tired of people saying that some people have accents and some don't. i'm tired of women saying their bodies are ugly, of being ashamed of their voices, and of the things they love, and of hiding their joy for fear of derision. i'm sorry that penny is tired, and the other podfic readers who have privately told me similar things, and i'm sorry that i'm tired, too.
i'll get back up again, though. this is my fight. i want to hear all of the voices. however they wish to speak.
originally posted at http://general-jinjur.dreamwidth.org/642493.html. possibly there is commentversation there? let's see: