Ever wonder?
You ever wonder where life is taking you and where you're supposed to be going? I thought I knew. I was going places -- went to college, got a degree. Then, I kind of went stagnant, floating from one job to another, trying to find my place, trying to get my feet onto the ground.
Then I moved to LA to help my family move, but also to find some sort of permanence in my life -- a stable job that might be more of a career rather than just a job. And I started working for Washington Mutual. Except that it's not paying what I'd like. What would I like to be doing?
I'd like to open my own tutoring center, teaching and reaching out to children in my own way. But until I have the captial to do so, I need to work and pay off bills. And then I have the whole issue of my current job potentially giving me a raise and such next month (I'll believe it when I see it! :oD) Then I have the whole decision to decide if/when I move up north. It's going to be a hard move -- not because I don't want to live up there, 'cause definitely, I'd like to have a home and family up in the Tri-Valley area. But because I'd be leaving this job, which I really like -- and yes, I'll probably be able to transfer, but I really really really love the people I work with. They're awesome -- they've been helping me out and going out on a limb to help me -- like with the employing me before I went to training. So I really want to stay and at least put in my year with them, as I feel I owe it to them. Especially my manager. He's been trying to help me any way he can, getting me as many hours and such that he can.
What about grad school then? Now I'm torn again. Maybe I shouldn't go back to grad school until I have more bills under control. So all these issues tearing me every which way, and that doesn't even include the emotional turmoil with dating and all. I need a zen moment or something. I wish I knew what was the correct action for me to take. My mind is telling me that the most beneficial financially would be for me to remain down here at least to reach as close to my year mark at WaMu as possible, so that I not only have a better chance of transferring, but I also have a better chance of moving up, and earning a raise, and being in a better position to work a graduate school schedule into my work schedule.
Could I see myself being happy at this job? Most definitely. I'd even possibly consider doing this job and a tutoring center job. Why? Because I like working with people, and I really want to feel financially stable. So, if I opened my own center, I would work a couple mornings at the bank, and work my full time hours at the center. Extra pocket change. I want a large family (that's at least 4 kids -- 2 of my own, 2 from adoption), and I want enough money coming in so that I can help give them the benefits and pleasures in life that I didn't always (or ever) have. I want stability, never having to worry where my next meal or gas tank is coming from, or what I have to give up in order to have that. I don't need to be rich either. Enough to provide my family and I (with a husband of course) a comfortable way of life is all I'm asking/looking for.
So...I don't know what to do. I so like being in control of matters in my life, including planning the future out some -- such as where i'm living, where I'm working, and all that. But i know that sometimes, life just can't be run that way.
Any suggestions, thoughts, and all that would greatly be appreciated!!!
Then I moved to LA to help my family move, but also to find some sort of permanence in my life -- a stable job that might be more of a career rather than just a job. And I started working for Washington Mutual. Except that it's not paying what I'd like. What would I like to be doing?
I'd like to open my own tutoring center, teaching and reaching out to children in my own way. But until I have the captial to do so, I need to work and pay off bills. And then I have the whole issue of my current job potentially giving me a raise and such next month (I'll believe it when I see it! :oD) Then I have the whole decision to decide if/when I move up north. It's going to be a hard move -- not because I don't want to live up there, 'cause definitely, I'd like to have a home and family up in the Tri-Valley area. But because I'd be leaving this job, which I really like -- and yes, I'll probably be able to transfer, but I really really really love the people I work with. They're awesome -- they've been helping me out and going out on a limb to help me -- like with the employing me before I went to training. So I really want to stay and at least put in my year with them, as I feel I owe it to them. Especially my manager. He's been trying to help me any way he can, getting me as many hours and such that he can.
What about grad school then? Now I'm torn again. Maybe I shouldn't go back to grad school until I have more bills under control. So all these issues tearing me every which way, and that doesn't even include the emotional turmoil with dating and all. I need a zen moment or something. I wish I knew what was the correct action for me to take. My mind is telling me that the most beneficial financially would be for me to remain down here at least to reach as close to my year mark at WaMu as possible, so that I not only have a better chance of transferring, but I also have a better chance of moving up, and earning a raise, and being in a better position to work a graduate school schedule into my work schedule.
Could I see myself being happy at this job? Most definitely. I'd even possibly consider doing this job and a tutoring center job. Why? Because I like working with people, and I really want to feel financially stable. So, if I opened my own center, I would work a couple mornings at the bank, and work my full time hours at the center. Extra pocket change. I want a large family (that's at least 4 kids -- 2 of my own, 2 from adoption), and I want enough money coming in so that I can help give them the benefits and pleasures in life that I didn't always (or ever) have. I want stability, never having to worry where my next meal or gas tank is coming from, or what I have to give up in order to have that. I don't need to be rich either. Enough to provide my family and I (with a husband of course) a comfortable way of life is all I'm asking/looking for.
So...I don't know what to do. I so like being in control of matters in my life, including planning the future out some -- such as where i'm living, where I'm working, and all that. But i know that sometimes, life just can't be run that way.
Any suggestions, thoughts, and all that would greatly be appreciated!!!