Serious weirdness.
Why is it that the more you want something and run towards it, the farther away it flees? That sounds depressing, but it's not. It's all about the over-impulsivity (totally not a word) of love. Don't worry, I'm not getting all romantic or weird or whatever. Or maybe I am. I don't know. I'm no longer able to formulate, decipher or define. All the words in their poor fixate tumble off the page and lay in gibbering jumbles.
Maybe I should just speak to you. Or maybe I shouldn't. I want to. WHERE ARE YOU!?
Fuck it. You're a bright shining explosion! A sweltering heat! I stand before you and sweat and pant and gasp for air. My eyes are stinging with perspiration. I can't blink or wipe it out, because I'm afraid I will lose sight of you. So terrified of this because I have done it before. I have failed you. Tried and failed. Tried and failed. Tried and failed. Or that's how I see it. DO YOU!?
That was dumb. Shit. Okay...
When I'm standing in a field and I see a puppy, I instantly love that puppy. I run to it. Because it's a puppy it runs to me. We run at one another, and it leaps into my arms. It nuzzles me, licks my face, and basically makes me feel super happy and unconditionally loved back. God that's weird. Should I be locked up?
I've not had that experience for a long fucking time now.
I hope you all realize "puppy" is a metaphor for love. Okay? Okay.
With friendship I am fine. I feel loved and supported and basically peachy keen. Who wouldn't with the friends I have? You're all awesome.
Maybe I'm talking about passion here. Something deep, gut-level, sure and undeniable. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Simply put, FEELING CRAZY!!! Coming close to being PUT THE FUCK AWAY!!! AAGGHH!! THE VOICES THE VOICES THE VOICES THE VOICES!!!
Your face, your eyes! Your words, your lips! Sting, soothe, strike, caress. Desire and devour. Give and push.
I am alone. That's not bad. I don't mind it anymore. I spend more time with totally sweet buds. I write and read more. I feel more relaxed and rested. Life alone is great actually.
Or it was. Until you. You son of a bitch. But not really. Not at all. Never ever ever and on and on and on.
Could this be a monologue? I should sell this shit.
Just please let me know you're still out there. Please.
I'm waiting.
Maybe I should just speak to you. Or maybe I shouldn't. I want to. WHERE ARE YOU!?
Fuck it. You're a bright shining explosion! A sweltering heat! I stand before you and sweat and pant and gasp for air. My eyes are stinging with perspiration. I can't blink or wipe it out, because I'm afraid I will lose sight of you. So terrified of this because I have done it before. I have failed you. Tried and failed. Tried and failed. Tried and failed. Or that's how I see it. DO YOU!?
That was dumb. Shit. Okay...
When I'm standing in a field and I see a puppy, I instantly love that puppy. I run to it. Because it's a puppy it runs to me. We run at one another, and it leaps into my arms. It nuzzles me, licks my face, and basically makes me feel super happy and unconditionally loved back. God that's weird. Should I be locked up?
I've not had that experience for a long fucking time now.
I hope you all realize "puppy" is a metaphor for love. Okay? Okay.
With friendship I am fine. I feel loved and supported and basically peachy keen. Who wouldn't with the friends I have? You're all awesome.
Maybe I'm talking about passion here. Something deep, gut-level, sure and undeniable. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Simply put, FEELING CRAZY!!! Coming close to being PUT THE FUCK AWAY!!! AAGGHH!! THE VOICES THE VOICES THE VOICES THE VOICES!!!
Your face, your eyes! Your words, your lips! Sting, soothe, strike, caress. Desire and devour. Give and push.
I am alone. That's not bad. I don't mind it anymore. I spend more time with totally sweet buds. I write and read more. I feel more relaxed and rested. Life alone is great actually.
Or it was. Until you. You son of a bitch. But not really. Not at all. Never ever ever and on and on and on.
Could this be a monologue? I should sell this shit.
Just please let me know you're still out there. Please.
I'm waiting.