i'm so..

[geneko]

  i'm so out of it now, i'm lost and i feel like running away from all this and being alone. shutting myself away from all the world, but i dont want to be alone...all i know is whatever happens....happens...and if it's not good for me...i'll always have Shelly and James....because they wont leave me..they wont go anyhwhere..they wont hurt me.

i

Comments

[shellymoon]

Crystal, I love you so much. More than you'll ever know. I'm so grateful that I have you in my life, you're a rare person. You're one of the few people I know I'll always have to lean on, and I'll always be here for you to lean on as well.

When I'm down, just talking to you about little things will cheer me right up. You have the ability to make others around you smile and forget about their troubles. I hope I do the same for you and the ones I love.

I understand what a hard time this is right now, I'm not in your position, our situations are much different. But after hearing how this has effected you, I've been thinking a lot about it. I can't get it out of my head. I know what it's like to not be able to tell anyone you're close to what's going on, and how much it hurts to know that no one knows that you're crying.

I know you're crying though. Sometimes we need a good cry, but you've been crying for a long time. And this really was the last thing you needed. You're such a cheerful person when you're around your friends, you don't like to bring other people down so you act like it's all okay and don't let on how much you might be hurting.

But I know you, and although focusing on your friends might help for a little while, it's bad to keep things inside. But you talk to me about it, and I'm so glad that you're able to open up to me and trust me with everything.

You don't need mountain metaphors right now, you need to feel at ease and know that you're loved and cared about. I love and care about you, and so do James, Nimmy and Chris. We all love you, Crystal, so very much. You've effected all our lives in such a wonderful way, especially mine.

You're a strong person. You're not clingy or overly emotional, you're loving and honest. And the people who see you for what you really are, are the people who should matter most.

My doors are always open for my buddie. Anytime you feel like you need to get away, this is the place for you. Anytime you want to try and forget about your troubles or anytime you're feeling like there's no one out there, I'm here. I understand and I always want to talk to you.

We think so alike, that's one of the reasons we're so close. I never want that to change.

So take care of yourself. Everything happens for a reason, you know that. Things will get better, I know they will because I'll help you through it.

<3