re-evaluation
so im watching the food network and am feeling like my new life goal is to have a cooking show. which i realize is fully the least socially responsible dream to have, but i LOVE cooking shows. kernan and i were going to have one on smith tv this year, but i dont know if we even HAVE a functioning station. i feel like the way they cook on shows is more like how i cook, doing things by feel and not measuring everything out so much, although they dont mix with their hands.
i think partially this is also going along with a general feeling that i have had of not being so capable of doing shit that is productive, e.g. activism, disability work, creating useful theory, etc. which doesnt mean at all that i dont think that i can contribute to society, whatever, but rather that i am not sure that i want to be in a situation where it will be a big deal if i cant live up to what i am trying to do. im not sure if that makes sense.
the vigil went well, i guess... it was, like i said, totally low key. i am feeling in a lot of ways like anti-war activism is an unproductive, energy sucking activity, and i think that as far as this topic goes, im going to start focusing a lot more on civil liberties violations and racism playing into those, rather than trying to deal with this super broad "peace movement."
in gross news, kids are chalking all over smith for coming out day. so now you walk thru campus and see things like "dig safely in my vulva" "gay 10/98 and beyond" "love sees no sex"--the last one clearly being the most disturbing, cos what the fuck? why would you want no sex in love? i mean, i see where they are going with it, but i really really really hate the assumption that sex (ok taking it for what they mean, largely the pseudo-biological dichotomy of male/female, or even throwing intersex into the mix somewhere) has nothing to do with attraction, interactions, and SEX. cos really, it does. just like gender does.
smith just makes me a bit frustrated sometimes. this whole place is so false-liberal in so many ways, it is useless.
i think i am ready to leave, and be out of the insular weirdness that is this school. btu im trying to keep it in context--being at home in indiana during this whole war thing would have been one of the most threatening experiences i can imagine. and i am really supported here.
maybe critical vigilance can go too far.
love
eliz.
i think partially this is also going along with a general feeling that i have had of not being so capable of doing shit that is productive, e.g. activism, disability work, creating useful theory, etc. which doesnt mean at all that i dont think that i can contribute to society, whatever, but rather that i am not sure that i want to be in a situation where it will be a big deal if i cant live up to what i am trying to do. im not sure if that makes sense.
the vigil went well, i guess... it was, like i said, totally low key. i am feeling in a lot of ways like anti-war activism is an unproductive, energy sucking activity, and i think that as far as this topic goes, im going to start focusing a lot more on civil liberties violations and racism playing into those, rather than trying to deal with this super broad "peace movement."
in gross news, kids are chalking all over smith for coming out day. so now you walk thru campus and see things like "dig safely in my vulva" "gay 10/98 and beyond" "love sees no sex"--the last one clearly being the most disturbing, cos what the fuck? why would you want no sex in love? i mean, i see where they are going with it, but i really really really hate the assumption that sex (ok taking it for what they mean, largely the pseudo-biological dichotomy of male/female, or even throwing intersex into the mix somewhere) has nothing to do with attraction, interactions, and SEX. cos really, it does. just like gender does.
smith just makes me a bit frustrated sometimes. this whole place is so false-liberal in so many ways, it is useless.
i think i am ready to leave, and be out of the insular weirdness that is this school. btu im trying to keep it in context--being at home in indiana during this whole war thing would have been one of the most threatening experiences i can imagine. and i am really supported here.
maybe critical vigilance can go too far.
love
eliz.