Angel
In Memoriam -- Lauren Andrea Oct 1960 - July 2009
I got a phone call today and the lady said "Is this Kate?" I said "Yes..." and the lady said "I'm really sorry to have to tell you this...but Lauren Andrea just passed away." I thanked her and asked her to let me know when a memorial/funeral service was and hung up. I told my parents and went up to my room and just started sobbing. I haven't ever experienced this feeling before. No one close to me has ever died.
We met during my dark period in 2006 when I was hospitalized and suicidal. We were the only two people on the ward that had stuffed animals (for comfort) so naturally, we made friends. Tramp and Edwin were brothers. She was like a big sister to me.
We made brownies and cookie bars and stuff like that. It always turned out awesomely. She loved Arts and Crafts and we went on many trips to Michael's to find things to do. We were always making bracelets and drawing pictures. She was a kid at heart and loved Disney movies. Everything in her bathroom had something to do with Winnie the Pooh and her favorite character was Piglet. She always had a giant tupperware container of candy on the top of her fridge and she'd always make me take some home with me. Her cupboards were always stuffed with things but she seemed to know where every single thing was. Whenever I had a really bad day I would visit her and she would always listen to me and make me laugh and cheer me up. She kept me above water and for that I am truly grateful for. There is a little bear figurine next to my bed telling me to believe in myself and be strong that she gave me. She was a genuine person. Always wanted to improve things. She taught english to some of the residents in her building and would look after tenant's kids when they were working hard to work to pay their rent. When she wrote me letters and sent me birthday/hanukkah cards, the envelopes always had a gazillion stickers on them and she would put confetti in the card that would fall out when I opened it.
There was a weekend back in 2006 where she was REALLY sick. The doctors didn't think she would make it through to Monday. I spent that weekend at her apartment taking care of her. She was so weak and sick. She could barely keep her eyes open. I had to wake her up every hour to make sure she would WAKE up. I had to call 911 that weekend and we went to St. Francis. I spent 10 hours with her in the ER holding her hand telling her everything was going to be okay. She was scared and I know that my being there helped her feel calmer. She has done so much for me it was the least I could do.
At that time, she was the only one that REALLY understood me. I could tell her ANYTHING. This is what she said when I told her about my transition: "
This is the last thing she said to me:
"Be strong, Kasey, take things slow, stay in therapy, and do what you know to be best for YOURSELF. I love you, no matter what you do in your life, no matter what direction life takes you, no matter what your name is. I am here, Kasey, and I'm not going anywhere. with lots of love and hugs, Lauren"
I sort of lost touch with her in 2007. I was back in school and working. I couldn't visit her often and truthfully I was scared to death of her dying. I knew it was inevitable and I wanted to remember the good times. She would ask if I wanted to visit and I would always say "I'm sorry, I'm busy." The last time I saw her was in August (?) of that year. She was in a rehabilitation facility after having surgery after surgery for something. I told her I would see her again but I never did. I never got to say good bye but I know she knows I still love her like a sister and that she'll always be with me.
She told me this a little after that weekend in 2006: "Kasey, when I die, I'm going to be your Guardian Angel" I said "Really?" She said "You bet, kiddo!" and smiled.
I will never forget her...and I miss her a lot.
Rest in Peace, Lauren
Love, Kasey and Tramp
I got a phone call today and the lady said "Is this Kate?" I said "Yes..." and the lady said "I'm really sorry to have to tell you this...but Lauren Andrea just passed away." I thanked her and asked her to let me know when a memorial/funeral service was and hung up. I told my parents and went up to my room and just started sobbing. I haven't ever experienced this feeling before. No one close to me has ever died.
We met during my dark period in 2006 when I was hospitalized and suicidal. We were the only two people on the ward that had stuffed animals (for comfort) so naturally, we made friends. Tramp and Edwin were brothers. She was like a big sister to me.
We made brownies and cookie bars and stuff like that. It always turned out awesomely. She loved Arts and Crafts and we went on many trips to Michael's to find things to do. We were always making bracelets and drawing pictures. She was a kid at heart and loved Disney movies. Everything in her bathroom had something to do with Winnie the Pooh and her favorite character was Piglet. She always had a giant tupperware container of candy on the top of her fridge and she'd always make me take some home with me. Her cupboards were always stuffed with things but she seemed to know where every single thing was. Whenever I had a really bad day I would visit her and she would always listen to me and make me laugh and cheer me up. She kept me above water and for that I am truly grateful for. There is a little bear figurine next to my bed telling me to believe in myself and be strong that she gave me. She was a genuine person. Always wanted to improve things. She taught english to some of the residents in her building and would look after tenant's kids when they were working hard to work to pay their rent. When she wrote me letters and sent me birthday/hanukkah cards, the envelopes always had a gazillion stickers on them and she would put confetti in the card that would fall out when I opened it.
There was a weekend back in 2006 where she was REALLY sick. The doctors didn't think she would make it through to Monday. I spent that weekend at her apartment taking care of her. She was so weak and sick. She could barely keep her eyes open. I had to wake her up every hour to make sure she would WAKE up. I had to call 911 that weekend and we went to St. Francis. I spent 10 hours with her in the ER holding her hand telling her everything was going to be okay. She was scared and I know that my being there helped her feel calmer. She has done so much for me it was the least I could do.
At that time, she was the only one that REALLY understood me. I could tell her ANYTHING. This is what she said when I told her about my transition: "
This is the last thing she said to me:
"Be strong, Kasey, take things slow, stay in therapy, and do what you know to be best for YOURSELF. I love you, no matter what you do in your life, no matter what direction life takes you, no matter what your name is. I am here, Kasey, and I'm not going anywhere. with lots of love and hugs, Lauren"
I sort of lost touch with her in 2007. I was back in school and working. I couldn't visit her often and truthfully I was scared to death of her dying. I knew it was inevitable and I wanted to remember the good times. She would ask if I wanted to visit and I would always say "I'm sorry, I'm busy." The last time I saw her was in August (?) of that year. She was in a rehabilitation facility after having surgery after surgery for something. I told her I would see her again but I never did. I never got to say good bye but I know she knows I still love her like a sister and that she'll always be with me.
She told me this a little after that weekend in 2006: "Kasey, when I die, I'm going to be your Guardian Angel" I said "Really?" She said "You bet, kiddo!" and smiled.
I will never forget her...and I miss her a lot.
Rest in Peace, Lauren
Love, Kasey and Tramp