Yuletide Letter (2013)
Dear Yuletide Writer,
First, let me compliment you on your excellent taste in fiction and thank you for taking this letter into consideration. All the details are optional, and I'd honestly be happy with anything new for these poor neglected fandoms. Now let's get down to business to defeat the Huns.
GENERAL INFO
AO3: notkingyet
tumblr: notkingyet
THINGS I LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH
- hurt/comfort
- whump
- happy endings
- death-defying fix-it fic
- snuggles
- domesticity; cooking, doing laundry, washing dishes, grocery shopping, etc.
- food porn (in the "that sounds delicious!" sense)
- people taking care of each other; wardrobe assistance, errand-running, carrying, feeding, medical help, dashing rescues, anything
- ladies being awesome
- AUs, from canon divergences to complete rewrites
- enthusiastic consent
- friendship, particularly unlikely friendships
- characters who have worked hard and been through a lot being given a chance to take a break, sit down, eat, rest, sleep, etc.
- characters who believe they are worthless being told/shown that they are worthwhile
THINGS I WOULD PREFER NOT TO READ ABOUT IF AT ALL POSSIBLE
- rimming/scat/watersports/mpreg
- the words "mewling" and "cant" (don't ask, it's a weird pet peeve, sorry)
- rape
- issue fic
- misogyny/homophobia/racism (I realize these may be canon attitudes for many of the characters I requested, but I'd prefer it if they could be worked around or glossed over rather than focused on)
- death/dying
- character hate
- canon female love interests being killed off/portrayed as shrill harpies to make way for the favored slash pairing
---
FANDOMS
THE HOLLOW CROWN
Characters requested: Edward "Ned" Poins, Sir John Falstaff, Prince Hal
Why I love this fandom/characters: Hal is a hot mess, deliberately so on some levels, and watching him build and destroy relationships for the purpose of promoting his own legend is the tastiest kind of heartbreak. Poins is sneaky and multitalented with a surprising mean streak and knows enough to get out while the getting's good. Falstaff is clever and witty and genuinely funny while being a greedy hanger-on who clearly needs to go. Together, these three clash and combine in a way that makes for maximum drama, and I love it.
Optional prompts:
- Falstaff/Hal/Poins. The worst threesome of all time. And, potentially, the most hilarious.
- How did Falstaff get his knighthood? (No, really... how!?)
- Where does Poins go when he mysteriously drops out of the play?
- Falstaff/Hal, sexual or platonic, something exploring Hal's attraction to him despite (or maybe even because of) his glaring flaws.
- How would Henry V look from Poins's point of view? A re-telling of any scene from his perspective would be brilliant.
- When in doubt: happy Hal/Poins. I like pretending they're not doomed, even if the happiness is only temporary.
- AUs! I love AUs for everything but Shakespeare is particularly good for it imho. Pick a universe. Throw these bastards in it. Go.
Fandom-specific things I would love: Puns, wordplay, hilarious insults, innuendo, etc.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: No Falstaff bashing please. Characters hating him is one thing (probably a necessary thing), but I'd rather the narrative not support it. Hal keeps him around for a reason.
---
MOBY-DICK
Characters requested: Queequeg, Ishmael
Why I love this fandom/characters: Moby-Dick is the most homoerotic book I've ever read, and the list of "things I've read" includes a substantial amount of actual homoerotica. Queequeg is unbearably attractive, Ishmael is charmingly obtuse, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts until a certain captain gets the bright idea to chase a certain whale.
Optional prompts:
- Post-canon fix-it! Can you find a plausible way to return Queequeg to Ishmael? Bonus points if Ishmael has managed to grow into a self-sufficient badass in the interval.
- X times Ishmael's failings as a sailor made the other crewmembers want to chuck him overboard but Queequeg's badassery prevented it and 1 time Queequeg wanted to throw Ishmael out too but made out with him instead.
- In the novel, we had deathly-ill Queequeg being tended to by Ishmael (among others). What would the inverse look like?
- Literally any cute Queequeg/Ishmael scenario (in any universe!) would make me happy.
- Moby-Dick in the AU setting of your choice. Hipster coffeehouse? Outer space? Old West? Punk band? Go wild!
- If you're up for writing PWP: Ishmael has an orgy w/ the harpooneers/the ship's officers/the entire crew of the Pequod/whoever, with Queequeg overseeing the whole thing to make sure his husband is happy and nothing gets too out of hand. (My personal headcanon is that Ishmael is an enthusiastic slut. It certainly would explain his intense desire to be covered in sperm.)
Fandom-specific things I would love: Queequeg being a huge badass at all times. Ishmael being the worst sailor on the seven seas. Questionable facts about whales.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: Please be very careful in your portrayal of Queequeg and any other POC characters who may appear. Melville's canon is pretty racist despite the best of intentions. Surely we in the 21st century can do better?
---
RIPPER STREET
Characters requested: Fred Best
Why I love this fandom/characters: Fred Best is the worst and that's what makes him the best. He's skeevy, he's sketchy, he's unapologetically scummy, and he will do anything to get a story, up to and including getting himself maimed. He pisses on journalistic integrity, and yet! He's still one of H Division's most useful allies. Even when he doesn't want to be.
Optional prompts:
- My favorite Fred Best moment comes in "A Man of My Company" where he gets his ass absolutely handed to him by the Pinkertons and spends the rest of the season sans his right ear. I'd like to see something similar in fic form: Fred Best getting the stuffing kicked out of him for the sake of a story. Bonus points if Captain Jackson is once again stuck with the job of stitching him up. Disgruntled hurt/comfort for the win.
- There's another great scene in "What Use Our Work?" when Bennet Drake threatens to cut off Best's other ear. Drake and Best are polar opposites (Drake leads with his fists, Best with his words; Drake's greatest strength is his loyalty, Best would give up his own grandmother if it got him a good quote) and this barely ten-second clash was super fun to watch. Any further interaction between them would make me very happy.
- Fred Best gets handcuffed to a member of H Division, wackiness ensues. Smutty wackiness is fun, but platonic wackiness could be even better.
- Tragically, Fred Best doesn't appear in every episode of the series. What was he doing during the ones where he's absent? What kept him out of the action and away from the scene of the crime? (This can get silly if you'd like--"busy picking out more terrible outfits" is totally a legit excuse to avoid covering a cholera epidemic.)
- Speaking of terrible outfits, Homer Jackson and Fred Best clearly shop at the same stores. Maybe they meet while out buying new clothes?
- Fred Best isn't the only terrible crime reporter in the world--Freddie Lounds, anyone? I dream of a Victorian Hannibal AU crossed over with Ripper Street. Obviously this is a long shot, and if you're not already familiar with Hannibal (or heck, if you just plain don't want to) then please don't feel obligated! This is just me dreaming big.
Fandom-specific things I would love: I started watching Ripper Street because it promised me nitty-gritty Victorian detail, so if you can tie some real-life history in to your fic I would be absolutely delighted! (If not, that's fine too!) While I realize I neglected to officially request any of the lady characters, they are all super great and if you wanted to throw any of them into your fic that would be very cool.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: No ripped-up whores please. Mentions of Hobbs will probably make me cry. (HOBBS BBY WHY)
---
SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL
Characters requested: Byron Seebohm, Bambi
Why I love this fandom/characters: This is one of the very few heterosexual pairings I ship, and the only explanation I can come up with is: they are too. flipping. CUTE. Two total misfits from wildly disparate backgrounds who find each other and, despite all odds and the protests of the world around them, live happily ever after. (Seriously, look at these cuties!)
Optional prompts:
- Why did Byron hire Bambi in the first place?
- Backstory! Who are Byron's family, and why does he think they don't like him? Or, if he's right, why don't they like him? Did he invite them to the wedding? If he didn't, would any have gone if he had? How did his rampant substance abuse problem get started?
- Backstory part deux! We know a little more about Bambi (she used to work in porn, she's got self-harm scars on her upper arms, she knows her way around a gun), but there are still plenty of gaps to fill. Who are Bambi's family? What about the sex industry attracted her to it? What does she do with her time outside of work?
- Pick a cute couples scenario and toss these two in it. At-home movie night? Clothes shopping? Domestic nonsense? Picnic in a park? Urban exploration? Morning routine? Going out dancing? Anything!
- We got all of two seconds of Byron cross-dressing in the show. Could we have more? Bambi helping him get fem could be really cute. Doesn't have to be smutty at all (tho smut is fun!), non-sexual cross-dressing is totally legit.
- Out of the two of them, Bambi seems to be the more responsible, in-control one--she's got a steady, high-paying job and her own flat; she rescued Belle from a rapist; even her choice of career is arguably in a caretaking field. This is all part of what makes her awesome. That said, it's kind of unfair to have all the responsibility on her shoulders. I'd like to see Byron taking care of her for once. Is it an everyday thing or a once-in-a-while opportunity? How does he handle it? How does she feel about it?
- Popular fiction seems convinced that marriage is the end of the story. I say it's just the beginning. What does married life look like for these two? (Unconventional, obviously, but that's half the fun!)
- If you're up for porn, I think Byron might be into pegging. Just sayin'.
Fandom-specific things I would love: Byron's terrible hipster fashion sense. Bambi's taste for adventure and wild schemes and offbeat sense of humor.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: I'm not over-fond of the other characters in the series, so I'd rather they took more of a background role if they show up at all. Byron's substance abuse issues are pretty bad and very much a problem; if they do come up, I'd appreciate it if they were treated sensitively. And this probably goes without saying considering Bambi's line of work, but please no slut-shaming!
---
Again, all of the above details are completely optional. If any happen to inspire you, great! If you've got a better idea, go for it!
Thanks again,
Not King Yet
(P.S. Happy Yuletide!)
First, let me compliment you on your excellent taste in fiction and thank you for taking this letter into consideration. All the details are optional, and I'd honestly be happy with anything new for these poor neglected fandoms. Now let's get down to business to defeat the Huns.
GENERAL INFO
AO3: notkingyet
tumblr: notkingyet
THINGS I LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH
- hurt/comfort
- whump
- happy endings
- death-defying fix-it fic
- snuggles
- domesticity; cooking, doing laundry, washing dishes, grocery shopping, etc.
- food porn (in the "that sounds delicious!" sense)
- people taking care of each other; wardrobe assistance, errand-running, carrying, feeding, medical help, dashing rescues, anything
- ladies being awesome
- AUs, from canon divergences to complete rewrites
- enthusiastic consent
- friendship, particularly unlikely friendships
- characters who have worked hard and been through a lot being given a chance to take a break, sit down, eat, rest, sleep, etc.
- characters who believe they are worthless being told/shown that they are worthwhile
THINGS I WOULD PREFER NOT TO READ ABOUT IF AT ALL POSSIBLE
- rimming/scat/watersports/mpreg
- the words "mewling" and "cant" (don't ask, it's a weird pet peeve, sorry)
- rape
- issue fic
- misogyny/homophobia/racism (I realize these may be canon attitudes for many of the characters I requested, but I'd prefer it if they could be worked around or glossed over rather than focused on)
- death/dying
- character hate
- canon female love interests being killed off/portrayed as shrill harpies to make way for the favored slash pairing
---
FANDOMS
THE HOLLOW CROWN
Characters requested: Edward "Ned" Poins, Sir John Falstaff, Prince Hal
Why I love this fandom/characters: Hal is a hot mess, deliberately so on some levels, and watching him build and destroy relationships for the purpose of promoting his own legend is the tastiest kind of heartbreak. Poins is sneaky and multitalented with a surprising mean streak and knows enough to get out while the getting's good. Falstaff is clever and witty and genuinely funny while being a greedy hanger-on who clearly needs to go. Together, these three clash and combine in a way that makes for maximum drama, and I love it.
Optional prompts:
- Falstaff/Hal/Poins. The worst threesome of all time. And, potentially, the most hilarious.
- How did Falstaff get his knighthood? (No, really... how!?)
- Where does Poins go when he mysteriously drops out of the play?
- Falstaff/Hal, sexual or platonic, something exploring Hal's attraction to him despite (or maybe even because of) his glaring flaws.
- How would Henry V look from Poins's point of view? A re-telling of any scene from his perspective would be brilliant.
- When in doubt: happy Hal/Poins. I like pretending they're not doomed, even if the happiness is only temporary.
- AUs! I love AUs for everything but Shakespeare is particularly good for it imho. Pick a universe. Throw these bastards in it. Go.
Fandom-specific things I would love: Puns, wordplay, hilarious insults, innuendo, etc.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: No Falstaff bashing please. Characters hating him is one thing (probably a necessary thing), but I'd rather the narrative not support it. Hal keeps him around for a reason.
---
MOBY-DICK
Characters requested: Queequeg, Ishmael
Why I love this fandom/characters: Moby-Dick is the most homoerotic book I've ever read, and the list of "things I've read" includes a substantial amount of actual homoerotica. Queequeg is unbearably attractive, Ishmael is charmingly obtuse, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts until a certain captain gets the bright idea to chase a certain whale.
Optional prompts:
- Post-canon fix-it! Can you find a plausible way to return Queequeg to Ishmael? Bonus points if Ishmael has managed to grow into a self-sufficient badass in the interval.
- X times Ishmael's failings as a sailor made the other crewmembers want to chuck him overboard but Queequeg's badassery prevented it and 1 time Queequeg wanted to throw Ishmael out too but made out with him instead.
- In the novel, we had deathly-ill Queequeg being tended to by Ishmael (among others). What would the inverse look like?
- Literally any cute Queequeg/Ishmael scenario (in any universe!) would make me happy.
- Moby-Dick in the AU setting of your choice. Hipster coffeehouse? Outer space? Old West? Punk band? Go wild!
- If you're up for writing PWP: Ishmael has an orgy w/ the harpooneers/the ship's officers/the entire crew of the Pequod/whoever, with Queequeg overseeing the whole thing to make sure his husband is happy and nothing gets too out of hand. (My personal headcanon is that Ishmael is an enthusiastic slut. It certainly would explain his intense desire to be covered in sperm.)
Fandom-specific things I would love: Queequeg being a huge badass at all times. Ishmael being the worst sailor on the seven seas. Questionable facts about whales.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: Please be very careful in your portrayal of Queequeg and any other POC characters who may appear. Melville's canon is pretty racist despite the best of intentions. Surely we in the 21st century can do better?
---
RIPPER STREET
Characters requested: Fred Best
Why I love this fandom/characters: Fred Best is the worst and that's what makes him the best. He's skeevy, he's sketchy, he's unapologetically scummy, and he will do anything to get a story, up to and including getting himself maimed. He pisses on journalistic integrity, and yet! He's still one of H Division's most useful allies. Even when he doesn't want to be.
Optional prompts:
- My favorite Fred Best moment comes in "A Man of My Company" where he gets his ass absolutely handed to him by the Pinkertons and spends the rest of the season sans his right ear. I'd like to see something similar in fic form: Fred Best getting the stuffing kicked out of him for the sake of a story. Bonus points if Captain Jackson is once again stuck with the job of stitching him up. Disgruntled hurt/comfort for the win.
- There's another great scene in "What Use Our Work?" when Bennet Drake threatens to cut off Best's other ear. Drake and Best are polar opposites (Drake leads with his fists, Best with his words; Drake's greatest strength is his loyalty, Best would give up his own grandmother if it got him a good quote) and this barely ten-second clash was super fun to watch. Any further interaction between them would make me very happy.
- Fred Best gets handcuffed to a member of H Division, wackiness ensues. Smutty wackiness is fun, but platonic wackiness could be even better.
- Tragically, Fred Best doesn't appear in every episode of the series. What was he doing during the ones where he's absent? What kept him out of the action and away from the scene of the crime? (This can get silly if you'd like--"busy picking out more terrible outfits" is totally a legit excuse to avoid covering a cholera epidemic.)
- Speaking of terrible outfits, Homer Jackson and Fred Best clearly shop at the same stores. Maybe they meet while out buying new clothes?
- Fred Best isn't the only terrible crime reporter in the world--Freddie Lounds, anyone? I dream of a Victorian Hannibal AU crossed over with Ripper Street. Obviously this is a long shot, and if you're not already familiar with Hannibal (or heck, if you just plain don't want to) then please don't feel obligated! This is just me dreaming big.
Fandom-specific things I would love: I started watching Ripper Street because it promised me nitty-gritty Victorian detail, so if you can tie some real-life history in to your fic I would be absolutely delighted! (If not, that's fine too!) While I realize I neglected to officially request any of the lady characters, they are all super great and if you wanted to throw any of them into your fic that would be very cool.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: No ripped-up whores please. Mentions of Hobbs will probably make me cry. (HOBBS BBY WHY)
---
SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL
Characters requested: Byron Seebohm, Bambi
Why I love this fandom/characters: This is one of the very few heterosexual pairings I ship, and the only explanation I can come up with is: they are too. flipping. CUTE. Two total misfits from wildly disparate backgrounds who find each other and, despite all odds and the protests of the world around them, live happily ever after. (Seriously, look at these cuties!)
Optional prompts:
- Why did Byron hire Bambi in the first place?
- Backstory! Who are Byron's family, and why does he think they don't like him? Or, if he's right, why don't they like him? Did he invite them to the wedding? If he didn't, would any have gone if he had? How did his rampant substance abuse problem get started?
- Backstory part deux! We know a little more about Bambi (she used to work in porn, she's got self-harm scars on her upper arms, she knows her way around a gun), but there are still plenty of gaps to fill. Who are Bambi's family? What about the sex industry attracted her to it? What does she do with her time outside of work?
- Pick a cute couples scenario and toss these two in it. At-home movie night? Clothes shopping? Domestic nonsense? Picnic in a park? Urban exploration? Morning routine? Going out dancing? Anything!
- We got all of two seconds of Byron cross-dressing in the show. Could we have more? Bambi helping him get fem could be really cute. Doesn't have to be smutty at all (tho smut is fun!), non-sexual cross-dressing is totally legit.
- Out of the two of them, Bambi seems to be the more responsible, in-control one--she's got a steady, high-paying job and her own flat; she rescued Belle from a rapist; even her choice of career is arguably in a caretaking field. This is all part of what makes her awesome. That said, it's kind of unfair to have all the responsibility on her shoulders. I'd like to see Byron taking care of her for once. Is it an everyday thing or a once-in-a-while opportunity? How does he handle it? How does she feel about it?
- Popular fiction seems convinced that marriage is the end of the story. I say it's just the beginning. What does married life look like for these two? (Unconventional, obviously, but that's half the fun!)
- If you're up for porn, I think Byron might be into pegging. Just sayin'.
Fandom-specific things I would love: Byron's terrible hipster fashion sense. Bambi's taste for adventure and wild schemes and offbeat sense of humor.
Fandom-specific things I would rather not see: I'm not over-fond of the other characters in the series, so I'd rather they took more of a background role if they show up at all. Byron's substance abuse issues are pretty bad and very much a problem; if they do come up, I'd appreciate it if they were treated sensitively. And this probably goes without saying considering Bambi's line of work, but please no slut-shaming!
---
Again, all of the above details are completely optional. If any happen to inspire you, great! If you've got a better idea, go for it!
Thanks again,
Not King Yet
(P.S. Happy Yuletide!)