pain
i wrote this a while ago. on pink sofa of all places thought best to document the moment
not in a good place to up date today so i will try again later
cheers Bella
I’ve been through pain I never thought existed, was glad that they had me under for the height off the pain the beginning. I stupidly keep trying to brave it out which makes it worse. And I have discovered so many types of different pain which all need different types of drugs to target. lucky for me they got me to see a Pain Doc to start a plan to help me nail the pain and rope it in. after 8 weeks of chronic pain in my entire abdomen due to chemo (to many rounds of it) I had my first 4 hours free. The next day I am back in hosp. all my drug control is handed back to the medical staff. I broke down; the first time in ages. They had missed some of my many medications and new pain killers. The thought of the pain returning terrified me. And the realization of how the pain had physically and mentally dragged me down, hit like a tone of bricks. …Plus I had lost the only control I felt I had over this medical stuff up.
In break down moments, you don’t want people to hug you, generally nothing others say will help; you just don’t want people to see you at your weakest
not in a good place to up date today so i will try again later
cheers Bella
I’ve been through pain I never thought existed, was glad that they had me under for the height off the pain the beginning. I stupidly keep trying to brave it out which makes it worse. And I have discovered so many types of different pain which all need different types of drugs to target. lucky for me they got me to see a Pain Doc to start a plan to help me nail the pain and rope it in. after 8 weeks of chronic pain in my entire abdomen due to chemo (to many rounds of it) I had my first 4 hours free. The next day I am back in hosp. all my drug control is handed back to the medical staff. I broke down; the first time in ages. They had missed some of my many medications and new pain killers. The thought of the pain returning terrified me. And the realization of how the pain had physically and mentally dragged me down, hit like a tone of bricks. …Plus I had lost the only control I felt I had over this medical stuff up.
In break down moments, you don’t want people to hug you, generally nothing others say will help; you just don’t want people to see you at your weakest