Through the looking glass...
Ive proven to myself, if not to anyone else that I am not actually a material girl. Granted, I like my useless shit and I just adore spending money and shopping for frivolous things. And internet shopping is a bit of a vice, however useless it may be. For the past 6 months I feel as if I have achieved a spritiual shift almost where money has no bearing. I work day in day out for a wage that isnt pitiful, but is nothing amazingly special and I see none of it really. Between paying off debts, bills and paying rent on a city-cetre flat that I don't actually use anymore alost 90 percent of my earnings are already accounted for on payday. Whats left is such a useless sum to use in a budget for a month. And one could not contemplate taking a chunk of it for use at a single event as it would smack of nothing but irresponsible, so I no longer pay it much attention. Sometime I'm sure I go for weeks without spending a penny, and yet a live a happy enough existance.
Unfortunately, I know that as soon as an appreciable disposal income does materialise again I will be hooked on the ever greater need to spend and spoil. I will wonder how I ever managed to last a good two thirds of a calendar year spending next to nothing ( and i mean nothing) but pottering about in life as I ever did without a care in the world.
One of my dreams has always been to write an astoundingly persuasive treatise on the uselessness of the monetary economy and possibly even a consciously applied bater economy, I never will. An irrational part of me believes that I could do anything I bent my mind to, and I dont want to tear the world apart. I would feel so guilty.
Unfortunately, I know that as soon as an appreciable disposal income does materialise again I will be hooked on the ever greater need to spend and spoil. I will wonder how I ever managed to last a good two thirds of a calendar year spending next to nothing ( and i mean nothing) but pottering about in life as I ever did without a care in the world.
One of my dreams has always been to write an astoundingly persuasive treatise on the uselessness of the monetary economy and possibly even a consciously applied bater economy, I never will. An irrational part of me believes that I could do anything I bent my mind to, and I dont want to tear the world apart. I would feel so guilty.