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[gemmedazure]

I wrote this in an email to a friend the other day:
"I feel for so long people got an "edited" version of me because I wanted them to love me, when really they were loving this projection I was consciously giving to them all polished up on a silver platter. Which is in a very real way, an illusion. And scary."

Comments

[actingpoetic]

i never thought of that before...if people have the edited version of me....hhmmm

[melalthia]

*scratches head and sits down

[demon151]

"I feel for so long people got an "edited" version of me because I wanted them to love me, when really they were loving this projection I was consciously giving to them all polished up on a silver platter. Which is in a very real way, an illusion. And scary."

Damn, I would hate to think that I don't even know you, Sesh. When I have had the opportunity to look into your eyes, I have loved the person I saw there. Maybe my perceptions were filled with illusions... but I didn't think so then, and I don't want to think so now. Are you really so different, or is it that you don't really know what we have seen? I am confused.

I don't necessarily need an explanation, just telling you how I feel.

Love,
Lena

[gemmedazure]

Nope - would never delete your thoughts, or ignore. Your forthrightedness, in honesty, is what inspires me a lot, to open up and say what irks me, what species of bug has made its way up my bum, or how I really feel today. In many ways, to talk to demon151 has said as well, what you've seen *is* me, the "PC" version, the "polished" - not one to get riled up and pissy unless it's in my own "controlled" way. And that can suck because I become resentful at never feeling able to show those shadows, thus limiting just how close I can get to whomever, and I am deciding for everyone in my vacinity what they can "handle". So screw it - you're right. What the fuck is the point of it all? This is easier said than acted upon, becuase in truth I am scared to death in a lot of ways that I will run people off. Yup, it's my shit. And I'm attempting to sort through it.

Thank you always for your thoughts. You can take up soapbox anytime.

You can fool some of the people some of the time...

[lucyfyre]

...but what about Astrologers?

Glad to see that Pluto transit square your Sun is actually active, I was beginning to wonder.

The thing is Sesh, presenting the "polished" image is you. Do you really think you can "change?" OR is this just another image?

You'd make a great politician, in many ways, presenting this "I care for the people Neptune in Sag" while all the time really caring about all the perks and kick backs that authority and position would give you.

Vote for Sesh! YOu know it makes sense (to her at least)

Makes me smile how many COTGers had very similar aspects in their chart. YOu and A both with Sun Square Neptune, you and Ix with Saturn in the 10th house. Maya and Gim with Sun Square Pluto, Lena and I with Mars Pluto conjunction. Gim and Lena with Mars in Leo etc. In many ways I believe it was amazing that we all got to see some of the most "irratating" or "challenging" things about others in our own charts. Great Mirrors we all made.

Re: You can fool some of the people some of the time...

[gemmedazure]

Interesting thoughts, Scar. Although must say I don't think you and I will ever see eye to eye on the whole "your chart is you in your entirity" theory. *shrugs* But I can always agree to disagree.

Re: You can fool some of the people some of the time...

[lucyfyre]

+smile+ YOur chart is you untill you know who you are. "The stars only incline they do not compel" is a favorite quote of mine. But until you know your inclinations it is very hard to not follow them.

But then, until you've hit your Saturn Return, you really have not learnt all the lessons your chart has to teach you, so untill then you really aren't "totally aware" of who you are.

Re: You can fool some of the people some of the time...

[lucyfyre]

But then, you can always "agree to disagree" when one person is of the "opinion" whilst the other has facts, figures and argument to back his case ;)