so...
I've taken everyone's advice to heart, I've attempted to do what could help me get what I want. One thing I have learned which is that the reason I get pushed to the side is because I am not selfish enough. And so, on the advice of my cousins and because I'm tired to being the nice guy because I continuously get shafted because of it, I got drunk in Philly last night. I loosened up, was incredibly nice but would have politely cursed out a couple of people if they were there. They deserve it and so I will tell them when I run into them later. But thats besides the point. I really don't see the point of making people feel good all the time if I just get pushed to the side each and every time. So...fuck you. And I say that as politely as possible.