(no subject)
I know i haven't updated in ages. I have been completley snowed under by work. To be honest i think school is taking the ultimate piss at the minute. I have been set an essay for every lesson this week, bearing in mind i have two teachers for every lesson, meaning i have been set eight essays. Alongside my english course work that i am re-doing from last year to try and get a half decent grade. My UCAS application is finished apparently, i just need to pay the ridiculous amount of money they want just for the application alone. Personally i think asking for £15 from students that haven't got two pennies to rub together is pathetic. Yeah i know i have a job and you might think that i am selfish and say "Well you afford to run your car". Yeah well i don't. My car is stupidly expensive. I have put £30-40 in petrol in a week. I know i have only been driving for two weeks but that's not the point. It's still nearlly £100 that i don't have. I see what people mean about "the novelty will soon wear off". I mean i love to drive in my car. But for myself. I love to drive alone. I am so much more competant when i am alone. I hate having my car full of drunken people that have had a good night on the pretense that i will not be just so that they can have a lift home. I have started telling people that they have to give me petrol money unless i asked them if they wanted the lift or if i am going there anyway. I simply can't afford to be driving people around. I know this seems like a direct attack on people but it's just a moan. The people that i am directing this to won't read it anyway. I am pissed off with one person imparticular. Just because they gave me money once for all the times in the past doesn't mean i become a taxi service. And so from now i retire from my position. Take this as my weeks notice. Or don't, or just shove it up your arse. I don't care.
I am through with trying to think that i am going to get accepted to every uni. I won't. i know that. I am just gonna try not to get my hopes up too high so i don't come down with a big bang. If i get accepted to any of the ones that i have applied for i will be happy, it's just that there are those two that i am torn between. They open so many doors for me and i know that i would further my ambition in law if i got accepted at them. I'm not saying which they are because then if i don't get accepted then i can pretend that which ever one does accept me was the one that i wanted to go to in the first place.
I think my teachers are setting my targets too high. I am predicted 290 points and i need 280 minimum which means if i get the A,B and two C's i am predicted i will fly into uni. I doubt that. I am sure that i won't get a C in English Lit. I just can't seem to write the way that i used to. I need to get my self sorted out so i make time to get all my work done but i think even if i sit infront of the computer all night everynight it won't get done.
I think friendships are falling apart too. I never see anyone anymore. School work, real work or something equally lame seems to have taken over. I seem to be spending all my time infront of the computer working than seeing my friends, purely because they are in the same predicament. I just feel like they don't need me anymore. However pathetic that may sound.
I can't be arsed to rant anymore. goodbye.
xx