Jesus Christ and the Blessed Virgin Mary!! I am such a mess, even more so than usually.
I began this day of sloth, waking up with my left eye stuck together with an eye infection, I looked like a bull frog. I bunged some eye drops on and stuck on some Emimen, so I could h'express my anger at everything. I then watched Brokeback, needless to say it made me cry. "I know what will cheer me up", I thought, "Forrest Gump, I love that film". For some unknown reason, I had completely forgotten that Forrest Gump was the most tragic film ever made, by the end of that I was sad again. After this marathon of laziness I looked in my mirror to see my left eye had continued to swell and I now looked like Quasimodo. Did I mention my hair was frizzy after I went to bed with my hair wet?. Anyway, I managed to get an emergency appointment with my doctor, in half an hours time!! No where near enough time to sort out my hair or slam my face in ice to take down the swelling a bit. Overcame this by poly-filling over the crack that was my face and slapping on more make-up than a Vegas whore. My hair and massive self-esteem issues had to be temporarily suppressed for the greater good, to save my eye.
I walked out of my door and the pollen went to work on me, fucking horny flowers. By the end of road my nose was blocked up and my other eye was streamin'. FUCK. I sat in the waiting room, looking at all the foreigners and wishing they would abuse their own country's health systems, anger increasing each second. AFTER AND HOUR the doctor asks me in, looks in my eye and subscribes me some eye drops, LIKE THE FUCKING ONES I HAVE AT HOME???? YOU'RE A BLESSING TO THE MEDICAL PROFESSION!! YOU ARSEHOLE! I obviously thought that, I needed the drugs too much to upset her. The doctor tells me I'm due for a smear test, great stuff.
I’m now sitting here with gel in my eye, feeling like shit. It remains s mystery why I’m single. I’m gonna go eat garlic and live in a bin. Aren’t you lucky you're not me?