Comments | geminus_rpg: Growing Pains

_badass_slayer_ in geminus_rpg

Growing Pains

Mar 26, 2005 19:43

This cryin' thing fuckin' sucks, yo. The few times I have cried, didn't last very long. What I'm doin', now? Goes somewhere in the category of Never-Thought-This-Would-Happen. He's holdin' me, he's forgiven me, Wes has forgiven me, and I have no fuckin' clue what to do next ( Read more... )

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gfs_wesleypryce April 3 2005, 01:20:16 UTC

Oh, I definitely think. Now, how about you put that pretty mouth to work."Somehow, her move both surprises me and doesn't at the same time. I knew what I was doing when I slid up behind like that, knew the kind of reaction I was aiming to get out of her. This is Faith, after all ( ... )

_badass_slayer_ April 14 2005, 21:56:27 UTC

Slick bangs some button on the wall beside us, closin' the garage doors so we don't have any visitors, then we get back to the mackin'.

Damn, this boy's good. He exposes a breast, toyin' with the nipple, and I can feel the smile on his lips through our kiss from my little hum of approval. However, it's in the middle of all this that my thoughts start wander, and suddenly, I'm pushin' him away, nearly knockin' him off the bike ( ... )

gfs_wesleypryce April 15 2005, 19:47:48 UTC

"Wait, we have to stop."

What? It takes my mind a moment to catch up with the fact that she's just pushed me away - almost knocking me off the Harley in the process. She was the one that started this. Have I done something wrong? Did my little move there piss her off? Did I read her signals wrong with how far she wants to go?

She's smiling at me, but it's not a real smile. It's not reflect in her eyes, and that tells me that something is definitely wrong, and I'm not sure what to say or do.

But then, all of the sudden, the smile grows into a grin and does reach her eyes. "I'm still in the game, Stud-Man. I just thought we'd have less injuries if we moved the party inside. Get what I'm sayin'?"Is that all it is? Fear of injury? That doesn't seem like Faith...unless prison changed her more than I thought. I'm still a bit unsure about what just happened, but I decide to let her set the pace and kick my leg over the bike to get off ( ... )

_badass_slayer_ April 16 2005, 00:05:49 UTC

We head inside, takin' an elevator up to his crib. Goosebumps pop up on my arms as he rests his hand on the small of my back. No one's ever been so...affectionate with me (well, except for the Mayor), and it's nice, but the more he does to show me he cares, the more scared I become ( ... )

gfs_wesleypryce April 16 2005, 00:39:05 UTC

As soon as we're in the flat, Faith has me pinned up against the wall with her Slayer strength - not that I want to fight her, considering what she's doing is rather pleasurable. She says something while pulling my shirt off, but I don't really process it, considering my attention is currently focused on the kisses she's dotting along my neck and my hands wandering back up to her tank top straps again. She seems to have got over whatever it was that caused her to pull away earlier.

But just my fingers hook under the straps, she pauses, staring at my chest. I don't understand for a moment until she places a kiss on one of my scars - one of the ones she gave me, now a mirror image of itself. I open my mouth, not sure what to say to her when I suddenly realize...

She's crying.

Because of the scars? My brother and I forgave her, but obviously, she hasn't forgiven herself.

"Faith," I say softly, crooking my finger under her chin and lifting her face up to look at me. "It's all right - they're not...they don't bother me anymore."

_badass_slayer_ April 16 2005, 01:20:43 UTC

I'm in a daze, starin' at his scars, tears streamin' down my face, when his voice snaps me back to reality.

"Faith"

His finger hooks under my chin, liftin' my eyes up to his.

"It's all right - they're not...they don't bother me anymore."

Shiftin' away from him, I pace. "How can you forgive me, when everytime you look in a mirror you see that? I was sick and cruel, and I nearly killed you! I...it...I don't want to...SHIT!"

I scream in frustration, throwin' my hands up while the tears continue to pour. Lookin' back at him, my voice squeaks wicked bad on my next words. "I don't know what's wrong with me. There's all this...stuff inside me, and I can't get rid of it. Why can't I get rid of it? I just want to be me again."

gfs_wesleypryce April 16 2005, 01:49:25 UTC

"How can you forgive me, when everytime you look in a mirror you see that? I was sick and cruel, and I nearly killed you! I...it...I don't want to...SHIT!"

I think about trying to say something to her as she starts pacing in front of me, but when she screams, I realize that she's been bottling a lot up for a long time - and the scene in the car park in Dennys was just the tip of the iceberg. She needs to get this out of her system. Wicked bad, as she would no doubt say. So I let her continue to rage, even as it comes out like squeak of a mouse.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. There's all this...stuff inside me, and I can't get rid of it. Why can't I get rid of it? I just want to be me again."She stops with this but is still pacing, running her hands through her hair, so I finally manage to pull myself away from the wall and move closer to her again though I don't block her movement ( ... )

_badass_slayer_ April 16 2005, 03:02:57 UTC

"What do you want me to do, Faith? Yell at you? Rage at you like I did outside that bar last year? Would that make you feel better?"

"No," I say, but it's low and soft, and I just want to run as fast as I can outta here. However, he grabs my arm so I can't. I'm about ready to deck him, when he starts into his spiel.

"Look at me, Faith. You see these scars?"

I furrow my brow as my eyes land on the scars he's pointin' to. "My father gave me those with a cigar butt when I was ten and spilled coffee on his papers. And these?"

I shake my head, fuckin' terrified of what he's tellin' me.

"He gave me when he disciplined me with his belt."

Oh god, that's horrible. I had no idea.

"You hurt me, Faith, but not like he did. You're sorry for what you did; you made reparations. My father has never been sorry in his life. So those scars are never going to stop hurting. But these?"

He points to the ones I just kissed. "These have because I forgave you. The ones inside you won't until you forgive yourself. For everything. You have to let ( ... )

gfs_wesleypryce April 17 2005, 21:52:01 UTC

"I'm afraid it'll hurt too much. I need the pain to keep me alive. I might shrivel up and die if I let it go."

I don't think Faith has known anything other than pain her entire life. I don't think she's ever known true happiness. Is this why she was so attached to the Mayor? Because he actually cared about her? It was no secret - at least not to me - that he saw her as a daughter. And she lost him too, even though it was necessary at the time. But I don't think she's ever been truly happy, truly open with anyone. She's cloaked herself in her pain.

"I'm sorry about your dad. He's a royal fuck-up. I never met mine, but I'm pretty sure he was somethin' like that too." Reachin' up, I touch his face. "You deserved better.""So did you," I tell her. Reaching up, I wipe the tears on her cheeks away with my thumbs. "You never had a proper childhood, and then you were thrown into a role that put a hell of a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. It's amazing you've survived, but I have a lot of respect for you because you have ( ... )

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