This cryin' thing fuckin' sucks, yo. The few times I have cried, didn't last very long. What I'm doin', now? Goes somewhere in the category of Never-Thought-This-Would-Happen. He's holdin' me, he's forgiven me, Wes has forgiven me, and I have no fuckin' clue what to do next
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The waitress brings us our breakfasts, and Faith digs in with gusto, eating half of it before I can even finish spreading some jam on my toast and take a bite of my eggs. She certainly is something - her capacity for food definitely matches Fred's. It's interesting, but I'm starting to realize that both of them have much in common.
When she starts into her biscuits, I want to point out to her that biscuits in England are actually what she would refer to as cookies - just to see the look on her face. However, the hum she makes when she takes a bite of one of them distracts me for a moment. Since we're sitting next to each in the booth, I can feel the vibration she's creating, and it's rather...arousing, in a way.
Funny that before last night, I never would have considered Faith the way I am now.
"Thank you," I suddenly hear her say.
"Pardon?" I ask, turning to look at her.
"You got me back in the game, and I'm a better, more focused fighter because of you."
Because of me? All I did was trying to do was remind her that Angelus wasn't going to fight fair, to get her into the frame of mind to be able to take him on. I didn't realize that what I had done would affect her so much, given that my previous effectiveness as a Watcher had been practically nil.
"You'll never know how much you did for me, cuz I don't really know how to express it right. But...just wanted to tell you, so you'd know; what you did, back then, was a good thing. So...yeah...been wantin' to say that for a wicked long time."
"I'm..." I start to say and then pause for a moment. Another thing Faith has in common with Fred then - the ability to strike me speechless. "You're welcome, Faith. I know I was rather violent and cruel to you that night, but I just wanted to make sure you survived. I'm glad that you know that."
Taking a bite of my sausage, I reflect on the fact that I was actually able to help a Slayer despite the my father's insistence that I was an utter failure in that regard. I would love to see the look on his face were he to find that out. Of course, I do know how he regarded Faith - considered us two peas in a pod. The failed Slayer and the failed Watcher. I think sometimes, he thought we deserved each other.
"I'm very proud of the Slayer you've become," I tell her. "I don't think I told you that last year. To know that you think I helped you in some way means more than I can say."
I give her a smile and finish off what's left of my eggs before setting my fork down on the plate.
"Where do you want to go from here, Faith?"
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Ah...the You-Are-A-Rabid-Dog Speech. Yep, I remember that. But deep down inside, I knew he didn't mean that shit...or, at least, I hoped he didn't.
"You were tryin' to help me. It's cool. Comes with the territory of bein' a Watcher, I guess. Sometimes you gotta take drastic measures to get your point across. See? That's what I'm sayin'. If you hadn't gotten all Mean Sonuvabitch on me, things might've turned out a helluva lot different. I was reluctant to fight Angelus, and you showed me a way to do it without killin' Angel."
Dude, I'm just Revelation Chic, aren't I?
"I'm very proud of the Slayer you've become...I don't think I told you that last year. To know that you think I helped you in some way means more than I can say."
Oh my God. I've been waitin' forever to hear him say that to me. Didn't realize, while I was in the Dale, that I actually wanted his approval for anythin'. But, when he helped bust me outta prison? Somethin' changed; everything shifted, and suddenly, I was seein' ole Wes in a whole new light. He grew a pair, in addition to also developing an unhealthy fetish for guns and knives. Cut a little to close to home, know what I'm sayin'?
"Aww. Are ya tryin' to get me all weepy again?" I let out a short chuckle, then continue. "Seriously, though...you definitely helped me. You and Soul Boy kept me from fadin' away into the big, black beyond. He told me to keep fightin', and you showed me how," I say, returnin' his smile and bumpin' his shoulder with mine.
Earl, formerly known as Wes, finishes eatin' and asks me the question that has been runnin' through my head ever since I arrived at the W & H building. "Where do you want to go from here, Faith?"
Damn, I just know there's a double meanin' in that somewhere. And, honestly? I don't have the first, fuckin' clue what I'm doin'.
Looks like my uncharacteristic shyness is about to rear its ugly head again. "Dunno. Whatever, I guess. I'll go wherever the wind carries me." Dude, what a horrible cliche. What is it about this man that makes me all girly and jittery?
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