Growing Pains

[_badass_slayer_]

This cryin' thing fuckin' sucks, yo. The few times I have cried, didn't last very long. What I'm doin', now? Goes somewhere in the category of Never-Thought-This-Would-Happen. He's holdin' me, he's forgiven me, Wes has forgiven me, and I have no fuckin' clue what to do next

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[gfs_wesleypryce]

I can't help but chuckle at the look the waitress gives Faith as she finishes up her order. Probably wondering where she's going to put all that. I've seen the Slayer appetite, however. She'll most certainly be hungry again before the morning is through.

"I'll have scrambled eggs, sausage and toast," I tell her when she turns to me. I then cast a glance at the four unfinished mugs of coffee sitting on the table, no doubt cold by now. "And could I have a cup of tea?"

I really need some after all this.

She nods and makes a note on her pad before taking all the menus and hurrying away. Once she's gone, I turn my attention completely to Faith and...find that I have absolutely no idea what I want to say to her. I meant what I said to her out in the car park - I really do want to get to know her better; however, this is Faith. The normal rules have never and will never apply to her, no matter if she just broke down in my arms out there.

"Faith..." I say and pause for a moment. "I honestly don't know how to start this. I suppose an apology is in order. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what was going on from the beginning. I never meant to mislead you; I just didn't know how to explain the situation."

[_badass_slayer_]

I'm fiddlin' with my napkin after the waitress chic leaves with our order. Dude, this is awkward; like, really fuckin' awkward. The only other person to see me cry was Angel, and there was a damn good reason for it. Now? After my cryin' fit in the parkin' lot? I'm not so sure what to do. I feel all exposed and vulnerable, and I'm not used to that. But, at least, he doesn't appear to be wigged out too much by my strange behavior; that's a plus. 'Sides, a part of me is enjoyin' openin' up to him; weird, but true.

I'm brought outta my reverie, when he says my name. "Yeah?"

"I honestly don't know how to start this. I suppose an apology is in order. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you what was going on from the beginning. I never meant to mislead you; I just didn't know how to explain the situation."

Is he still angstin' over that shit? Cuz, me? I got over it as soon as I saw how lonely and hurt he was. "Don't need to apologize. We're five by five, now. I don't blame you for nothin'. You were in a sticky position; shit happens," I say, hopin' that'll make him feel better.

Waitress brings our drinks, tellin' us it'll be just a few minutes before the food's ready. He sips on his tea, while I chug my O.J. I go to say somethin' else, but right on cue, chic arrives with the rest of our stuff. She sets the plates down, sayin' she'll be back soon to check on us.

I dig into the eggs and toast, first, and end up scarfin' half of it down. Meanwhile, Brit Boy beside me, is laggin' behind wicked bad. The biscuits are next on the list, so I dive into them, spreadin' stawberry jam in the center. "Dude, I've missed fluffy biscuits. And, addin' jam? Makes 'em that much yummier." I pop one in my mouth, hummin' in pleasure. Food is like sex to me, man; gotta have some several times a day, or I go batshit insane. Dunno how I made it through 3 1/2 years behind bars. Suppose it had to do with my newly, reformed image or whatever.

I'd still be there, if he hadn't...

"Thank you." It comes out, before I can stop it. Then, I realize, I want to say this. Never got around to lettin' him know how grateful I was. He needs to hear it, though; especially, right now. "You got me back in the game, and I'm a better, more focused fighter because of you." I finish off the last of the biscuits and wash it down with my drink, glancin' over in his direction. "You'll never know how much you did for me, cuz I don't really know how to express it right. But...just wanted to tell you, so you'd know; what you did, back then, was a good thing. So...yeah...been wantin' to say that for a wicked long time."

Seems I still got lots to say; however, I want to hear his side, as well as my own.

[gfs_wesleypryce]

A part of me is quite relieved when she says that she didn't blame me for not telling her even though it was obvious by the way she had been acting toward me. I suppose sometimes it's just nice to hear it.

The waitress brings us our breakfasts, and Faith digs in with gusto, eating half of it before I can even finish spreading some jam on my toast and take a bite of my eggs. She certainly is something - her capacity for food definitely matches Fred's. It's interesting, but I'm starting to realize that both of them have much in common.

When she starts into her biscuits, I want to point out to her that biscuits in England are actually what she would refer to as cookies - just to see the look on her face. However, the hum she makes when she takes a bite of one of them distracts me for a moment. Since we're sitting next to each in the booth, I can feel the vibration she's creating, and it's rather...arousing, in a way.

Funny that before last night, I never would have considered Faith the way I am now.

"Thank you," I suddenly hear her say.

"Pardon?" I ask, turning to look at her.

"You got me back in the game, and I'm a better, more focused fighter because of you."

Because of me? All I did was trying to do was remind her that Angelus wasn't going to fight fair, to get her into the frame of mind to be able to take him on. I didn't realize that what I had done would affect her so much, given that my previous effectiveness as a Watcher had been practically nil.

"You'll never know how much you did for me, cuz I don't really know how to express it right. But...just wanted to tell you, so you'd know; what you did, back then, was a good thing. So...yeah...been wantin' to say that for a wicked long time."

"I'm..." I start to say and then pause for a moment. Another thing Faith has in common with Fred then - the ability to strike me speechless. "You're welcome, Faith. I know I was rather violent and cruel to you that night, but I just wanted to make sure you survived. I'm glad that you know that."

Taking a bite of my sausage, I reflect on the fact that I was actually able to help a Slayer despite the my father's insistence that I was an utter failure in that regard. I would love to see the look on his face were he to find that out. Of course, I do know how he regarded Faith - considered us two peas in a pod. The failed Slayer and the failed Watcher. I think sometimes, he thought we deserved each other.

"I'm very proud of the Slayer you've become," I tell her. "I don't think I told you that last year. To know that you think I helped you in some way means more than I can say."

I give her a smile and finish off what's left of my eggs before setting my fork down on the plate.

"Where do you want to go from here, Faith?"

[_badass_slayer_]

"You're welcome, Faith. I know I was rather violent and cruel to you that night, but I just wanted to make sure you survived. I'm glad that you know that."

Ah...the You-Are-A-Rabid-Dog Speech. Yep, I remember that. But deep down inside, I knew he didn't mean that shit...or, at least, I hoped he didn't.

"You were tryin' to help me. It's cool. Comes with the territory of bein' a Watcher, I guess. Sometimes you gotta take drastic measures to get your point across. See? That's what I'm sayin'. If you hadn't gotten all Mean Sonuvabitch on me, things might've turned out a helluva lot different. I was reluctant to fight Angelus, and you showed me a way to do it without killin' Angel."

Dude, I'm just Revelation Chic, aren't I?

"I'm very proud of the Slayer you've become...I don't think I told you that last year. To know that you think I helped you in some way means more than I can say."

Oh my God. I've been waitin' forever to hear him say that to me. Didn't realize, while I was in the Dale, that I actually wanted his approval for anythin'. But, when he helped bust me outta prison? Somethin' changed; everything shifted, and suddenly, I was seein' ole Wes in a whole new light. He grew a pair, in addition to also developing an unhealthy fetish for guns and knives. Cut a little to close to home, know what I'm sayin'?

"Aww. Are ya tryin' to get me all weepy again?" I let out a short chuckle, then continue. "Seriously, though...you definitely helped me. You and Soul Boy kept me from fadin' away into the big, black beyond. He told me to keep fightin', and you showed me how," I say, returnin' his smile and bumpin' his shoulder with mine.

Earl, formerly known as Wes, finishes eatin' and asks me the question that has been runnin' through my head ever since I arrived at the W & H building. "Where do you want to go from here, Faith?"

Damn, I just know there's a double meanin' in that somewhere. And, honestly? I don't have the first, fuckin' clue what I'm doin'.

Looks like my uncharacteristic shyness is about to rear its ugly head again. "Dunno. Whatever, I guess. I'll go wherever the wind carries me." Dude, what a horrible cliche. What is it about this man that makes me all girly and jittery?