The Resident Pump - Trumpident Lump
We have entered a new age, you and me.
Together, no matter where you are from
if you are here,
that means we are here together.
There are rules that we know because we are here
together
as the age... ages.
People from other ages read other pages
but this is one we share
now that 'pages' are commonly paperless
and commentators are sagely pointless
which brings us to:
Rule Number 1 -Don't read the comments. Trolls and pain live there.
Rule Number 2 -Never forget your cell phone at home. You'll spend all day worried.
Rule Number 3 -Be careful what you Google, porn is scattered like gravel on the global internet landscape.
There are so many more.
So many.
Maybe you could share some that pop to mind for you.
In the meantime, take the above rules into account
and go here to see Stephen Colbert: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXhFGO8R7aU
before/after proceeding with my proceedings.
I went to bed late last night after consoling a friend
who called about the election results.
"Sorry,.. I just needed to talk to someone who would talk
sense to me..." he said, distraught.
I tried to enumerate the "good" things about Trump.
He said he was against the TPP.
I don't TRUST him, but.. hey... that would be cool if he stuck to that.
The Senate and House might be Red...
but at least they have had a LOT of practice
blocking ALL KINDS of executive premises and platform promises.
Trump has already been banned from multiple countries,
due to hate-speech during the campaign, meaning that the world stage is already wary.
He promises less American interventionism.
These things might work in favor of some progressive agendas.
Here's hoping?
I don't hold out much hope,
but, I am not the sort that is cowed by fear.
Although *raises glass* I AM drinking, thankyouverymuch.
After going to bed late offering hope to the hopeless
I woke up early, specifically concerned
with the future of the Environmental Protection Agency
and awash in texts from my mom which
teetered between humorously blase' and gigglingly panicked.
I fielded texts from more friends through the day
as we all wonder together:
What next?
Because, to us bleeding hearts
who kept up our Bernie signs (me) all year;
last night America pulled off a mask
and revealed a white hood
and cue: cultural horror.
But truthfully, another Clinton presidency
would have left me merely suffering
the same sense of generalized fear,
discomfort, and distrust
I have come accustomed to lo, these many years
which technically, I do not like either.
When Sweet Sailor asked me how I voted,
I explained that I *refused* to vote based on fear,
and I *refused* to vote for war.
Period.
No war-mongers.
No fear-mongers.
No bigots, free-marketists, autocrats, or fascists.
No chance for me voting D or R this year at all
due to that onerous list of invaluable personal values.
After the debacle of the 2000 election
(which was my first ever election I voted in,
and the year I turned 18)
I spent some time considering the problems I had
with the American election system as I suffered Bush,
and the onset of war, war, and more war.
I daydreamed about how to fix it.
How could I:
-Dismantle the two-party system
-Oust corruption
-Remove voter-apathy as a possible excuse not to vote
and
-Prove the legitimacy of democratic governance by uniting opposing factions
ALL IN ONE FELL SWOOP?
5 laws (and a couple sub-clauses) would do IT ALL.
And, folks? I want you on board.
Just hear 18-yr-old-me out!
1: Fuck the Electoral College. It has to go.
It is antiquated and defeats it's own purpose.
National Popular Vote Majority wins.
2: Fuck having no Election Day Holiday!
This is bullshit. Fix it.
Election Day is PAID HOLIDAY from work.
Sidenote: 18 yr olds will be automatically registered,
and EVERY public elementary school is a polling place.
3: Fuck privately-funded elections!
Corporations are not people. PACs are not people.
Publicly-funded elections. Every candidate gets the same budget
AND IT IS SMALL.
You must rely on town halls and public speaking
NOT commercials.
4: Fuck the false dichotomy and "lesser of two-evils" thinking!
This is a big one... and it involves math.
Any voter can use their one vote for OR against *any* candidate.
You can literally vote "Anybody but THAT guy!" and your negative vote
cancels out someone's positive vote!
But, if you LIKE someone you'd better vote FOR them because....
5: Fuck letting unpopular/divisive candidates run over and over!
If any candidate ends the election with a NEGATIVE percentage,
not only can they NOT win, they are banned from EVER running for that office again.
Winners must have at least +33% of the vote.
NO winners? New election in 4 weeks
between everyone who wasn't banned.
Everyone running got banned? New election in 12 weeks.
File your bureaucratically-necessary papers fast, muthafuckas!
Journalists? Get your investigative hats on, quick!
Shit be HAPPENING!
Can you IMAGINE the first couple elections on this system and
HOW MANY POLITICIANS would be BANNED from their office of choice or incumbent seats?
And how FITTING that would be for cronyism to DIE, just like THAT?
Especially using public money!
The public's vote might be: GTFO!
HA!
And can you think of a better way to spend that money?
No voter apathy.... there is no voting for the "lesser" of two evils
EVERYONE would be free to vote their conscience!
3rd party tickets would have automatic traction!
Unpopular, corrupted candidates would be ousted!
Politicians wouldn't rely on fundraising
(and backscratching) for their campaigns!
It would undo the false dichotomy of left-wing v. right-wing agendas!
This is the sort of shit I think about
while I wonder *WHY* America is so fond of
boorish, ignorant, belligerent, narcissistic, sociopathic capitalists...
and then I am forced to remember... BECAUSE AMERICA!
Expressing my own personal opinions,
I happen to feel both Trump and Hillary are a sort of
Ugly American Personified.
Have your pick!
Do you prefer the educated-but-elitist one
or the ignorant-and-arrogant-about-it one?
They're both hypocrites, bordering on evil to my gimlet eye.
But if I could use my one vote, FOR or AGAINST any candidate
in yesterday's foregone election elocution?
I would have had to vote against Don'T
because, well,... overt sexism, racism, and xenophobia are
easy ways to get on my worst-side.
Your Buttons May Vary. I get it.
But, ya know what?
I think we would woken up to a November 9th, 2016
with both of those historically unpopular candidates
legally unavailable to EVER be our Commander-in-Chief
and I think that America would have breathed a collective sigh of relief
as we put our worst fears out to political pasture
and gone to our parties to demand candidates we adore,
instead of suffering these candidates we abhor.
Just... a thought.
Together, no matter where you are from
if you are here,
that means we are here together.
There are rules that we know because we are here
together
as the age... ages.
People from other ages read other pages
but this is one we share
now that 'pages' are commonly paperless
and commentators are sagely pointless
which brings us to:
Rule Number 1 -Don't read the comments. Trolls and pain live there.
Rule Number 2 -Never forget your cell phone at home. You'll spend all day worried.
Rule Number 3 -Be careful what you Google, porn is scattered like gravel on the global internet landscape.
There are so many more.
So many.
Maybe you could share some that pop to mind for you.
In the meantime, take the above rules into account
and go here to see Stephen Colbert: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXhFGO8R7aU
before/after proceeding with my proceedings.
I went to bed late last night after consoling a friend
who called about the election results.
"Sorry,.. I just needed to talk to someone who would talk
sense to me..." he said, distraught.
I tried to enumerate the "good" things about Trump.
He said he was against the TPP.
I don't TRUST him, but.. hey... that would be cool if he stuck to that.
The Senate and House might be Red...
but at least they have had a LOT of practice
blocking ALL KINDS of executive premises and platform promises.
Trump has already been banned from multiple countries,
due to hate-speech during the campaign, meaning that the world stage is already wary.
He promises less American interventionism.
These things might work in favor of some progressive agendas.
Here's hoping?
I don't hold out much hope,
but, I am not the sort that is cowed by fear.
Although *raises glass* I AM drinking, thankyouverymuch.
After going to bed late offering hope to the hopeless
I woke up early, specifically concerned
with the future of the Environmental Protection Agency
and awash in texts from my mom which
teetered between humorously blase' and gigglingly panicked.
I fielded texts from more friends through the day
as we all wonder together:
What next?
Because, to us bleeding hearts
who kept up our Bernie signs (me) all year;
last night America pulled off a mask
and revealed a white hood
and cue: cultural horror.
But truthfully, another Clinton presidency
would have left me merely suffering
the same sense of generalized fear,
discomfort, and distrust
I have come accustomed to lo, these many years
which technically, I do not like either.
When Sweet Sailor asked me how I voted,
I explained that I *refused* to vote based on fear,
and I *refused* to vote for war.
Period.
No war-mongers.
No fear-mongers.
No bigots, free-marketists, autocrats, or fascists.
No chance for me voting D or R this year at all
due to that onerous list of invaluable personal values.
After the debacle of the 2000 election
(which was my first ever election I voted in,
and the year I turned 18)
I spent some time considering the problems I had
with the American election system as I suffered Bush,
and the onset of war, war, and more war.
I daydreamed about how to fix it.
How could I:
-Dismantle the two-party system
-Oust corruption
-Remove voter-apathy as a possible excuse not to vote
and
-Prove the legitimacy of democratic governance by uniting opposing factions
ALL IN ONE FELL SWOOP?
5 laws (and a couple sub-clauses) would do IT ALL.
And, folks? I want you on board.
Just hear 18-yr-old-me out!
1: Fuck the Electoral College. It has to go.
It is antiquated and defeats it's own purpose.
National Popular Vote Majority wins.
2: Fuck having no Election Day Holiday!
This is bullshit. Fix it.
Election Day is PAID HOLIDAY from work.
Sidenote: 18 yr olds will be automatically registered,
and EVERY public elementary school is a polling place.
3: Fuck privately-funded elections!
Corporations are not people. PACs are not people.
Publicly-funded elections. Every candidate gets the same budget
AND IT IS SMALL.
You must rely on town halls and public speaking
NOT commercials.
4: Fuck the false dichotomy and "lesser of two-evils" thinking!
This is a big one... and it involves math.
Any voter can use their one vote for OR against *any* candidate.
You can literally vote "Anybody but THAT guy!" and your negative vote
cancels out someone's positive vote!
But, if you LIKE someone you'd better vote FOR them because....
5: Fuck letting unpopular/divisive candidates run over and over!
If any candidate ends the election with a NEGATIVE percentage,
not only can they NOT win, they are banned from EVER running for that office again.
Winners must have at least +33% of the vote.
NO winners? New election in 4 weeks
between everyone who wasn't banned.
Everyone running got banned? New election in 12 weeks.
File your bureaucratically-necessary papers fast, muthafuckas!
Journalists? Get your investigative hats on, quick!
Shit be HAPPENING!
Can you IMAGINE the first couple elections on this system and
HOW MANY POLITICIANS would be BANNED from their office of choice or incumbent seats?
And how FITTING that would be for cronyism to DIE, just like THAT?
Especially using public money!
The public's vote might be: GTFO!
HA!
And can you think of a better way to spend that money?
No voter apathy.... there is no voting for the "lesser" of two evils
EVERYONE would be free to vote their conscience!
3rd party tickets would have automatic traction!
Unpopular, corrupted candidates would be ousted!
Politicians wouldn't rely on fundraising
(and backscratching) for their campaigns!
It would undo the false dichotomy of left-wing v. right-wing agendas!
This is the sort of shit I think about
while I wonder *WHY* America is so fond of
boorish, ignorant, belligerent, narcissistic, sociopathic capitalists...
and then I am forced to remember... BECAUSE AMERICA!
Expressing my own personal opinions,
I happen to feel both Trump and Hillary are a sort of
Ugly American Personified.
Have your pick!
Do you prefer the educated-but-elitist one
or the ignorant-and-arrogant-about-it one?
They're both hypocrites, bordering on evil to my gimlet eye.
But if I could use my one vote, FOR or AGAINST any candidate
in yesterday's foregone election elocution?
I would have had to vote against Don'T
because, well,... overt sexism, racism, and xenophobia are
easy ways to get on my worst-side.
Your Buttons May Vary. I get it.
But, ya know what?
I think we would woken up to a November 9th, 2016
with both of those historically unpopular candidates
legally unavailable to EVER be our Commander-in-Chief
and I think that America would have breathed a collective sigh of relief
as we put our worst fears out to political pasture
and gone to our parties to demand candidates we adore,
instead of suffering these candidates we abhor.
Just... a thought.