Que Sera Sera
When I was boiling in bad moods under buzzy florescents amidst fuzzy cubicle walls the same texture and color as the carpet... I had a stock answer for when people would ask how work was going.
"I track insurance payments AND its even more exciting than it sounds! LIVING THE DREAM, MAN!"
And then.. suddenly, something happened and I WAS living my dream.
Suddenly I was.. managing an arthouse movie theater.
What? Wait... WHAT?
And I have been quiet. Doing that. All the time.
LOVING it. Living the dream, man. Living the dream.
I was paid terribly enough to prove I did it for the love of it.
And I knew it might be temporary.
And now I know it was temporary.
I was told yesterday. My last day I get paid for my last hour worked. Friday.
Bummer.
Joe took the time off he needed to do what he had to... he can no longer afford me to do what he can do for himself again.
Sad news.
I have lots of opinions about how things are run and think I am a big asset, but I have no money to make decisions for myself when it comes to running the place, so I am out of the running.
Im poor.
I cashed my second to last paycheck. My bank account was so low, the teller asked if I 'knew the person well' who's check I was cashing.. BECAUSE, well.. I dont know. He said he is "supposed to ask" because if *I* dont have enough money in my account.. that other person might not have enough in THEIR account. Because.. uh.. poor people only know poor people? Im unsure.
Well, the whole theater is in fits of poverty, so.. I guess that isn't an outrageous assumption just because its an assumption.
I have to find new work ASAP.. but I am... hopeful. *winces*
I am sad to have to go back to no-respect jobs where I hate everyone.
That..... is a lot to lose after winning so much.
People who know me... know that when I am the most excited, I am usually a little paranoid. Very Good Things and Pretty Bad Things tag team me like siamese twins playing "Guess Who?"
Saturday I had 4 jobs.
-A day at The Lantern selling several hundred dollars in popcorn, coffee and film tickets then did all the resulting popcorn/coffee making/serving and of course resulting dishes for ten hours during the busiest night of the Spokane International Film Festival (SpIFF)... luckily with help from a backup barista for most of it. (Although the coverage guy was an hour late! I coulda killed him if I didnt need his help so badly)
-Coordinating between the volunteers, the volunteer coordinators and the film festival directors, and helping as a backup projectionist for changes, emergency problem solving and hospitality for the crowds when things didnt go smoothly.
-Radio show. I had no idea what I was playing and my co-host called in the afternoon (the SUPER BUSY AFTERNOON OF DOOM.. because this is all in one day) to say she had a family emergency and was in Olympia.
-Sneaking away from behind the counter at The Magic Lantern, during CRAZY crowds... to do one-on-one recorded interviews with as many visiting directors as possible. I got four.
Geefwee Boedoe, JP Sniadecki, Michael King and Amanda Pope.
One has one an Emmy, one has two films at the festival that he wrote/directed/produced for his Doctorate thesis at Harvard, one just got nominated for an Oscar for a film where his name alone is under more than 80% of the credits and another is a tenured professor at USC and longtime official documentarian for PBS.
Uh.....
What a day!!
But what I really wanted to do was sleep in and go bowling for the KYRS Big Lebowski bowling/drinking/costume party night..
But I guess a day at SpIFF was exciting enough to tide me over;)
That was Saturday.
Sunday? Sunday I found out I was being laid off from The Magic Lantern starting next week.
Friday I get a paycheck for every hour worked. Bye, bye.
.....
Oh.
.......
Can I cry? Is it allowed if I still want to be a 'trooper'?
I knew money was not coming. I knew business was not booming. (SpIFF is busy,.. our theater is rented by SpIFF.. so dont assume the crowds Im talking about are all pouring their pockets into the arthouse theater itself.. except by buying popcorn and cake) and I was too busy working there 60 hours a week most weeks to get as much promotion work done as I would have liked.. or organized more benefits... plus I felt that the owner wasn't as interested in my ideas or even discussing most of them. He needed someone to work for practically no pay but a title. So.. I guess I just did that. Man, I loved it every day! EVERY day!
Anyways. I have one week and one paycheck left.
O! I am SAD!
I am trying not to worry. Be proactive. Enjoy. Figure something else out. Find a way back to this.
Thats.. possible, right?
Wax Tailor's version of 'Que Sera Sera' is a perfect bittersweet song for how I feel right now.
Any of youts wanna hire me? Im good at smiling and getting work done in magical ways.
Also: 3 days ago my dashboard found a new light to show me. "Check Engine Soon". I tried to explain to my car that that costs money, but it doesn't understand me.
What do you think it all MEANS?
Did I tell the story how my car started working the day I put a new alternator.. in the trunk? Thats how my life works.
"I track insurance payments AND its even more exciting than it sounds! LIVING THE DREAM, MAN!"
And then.. suddenly, something happened and I WAS living my dream.
Suddenly I was.. managing an arthouse movie theater.
What? Wait... WHAT?
And I have been quiet. Doing that. All the time.
LOVING it. Living the dream, man. Living the dream.
I was paid terribly enough to prove I did it for the love of it.
And I knew it might be temporary.
And now I know it was temporary.
I was told yesterday. My last day I get paid for my last hour worked. Friday.
Bummer.
Joe took the time off he needed to do what he had to... he can no longer afford me to do what he can do for himself again.
Sad news.
I have lots of opinions about how things are run and think I am a big asset, but I have no money to make decisions for myself when it comes to running the place, so I am out of the running.
Im poor.
I cashed my second to last paycheck. My bank account was so low, the teller asked if I 'knew the person well' who's check I was cashing.. BECAUSE, well.. I dont know. He said he is "supposed to ask" because if *I* dont have enough money in my account.. that other person might not have enough in THEIR account. Because.. uh.. poor people only know poor people? Im unsure.
Well, the whole theater is in fits of poverty, so.. I guess that isn't an outrageous assumption just because its an assumption.
I have to find new work ASAP.. but I am... hopeful. *winces*
I am sad to have to go back to no-respect jobs where I hate everyone.
That..... is a lot to lose after winning so much.
People who know me... know that when I am the most excited, I am usually a little paranoid. Very Good Things and Pretty Bad Things tag team me like siamese twins playing "Guess Who?"
Saturday I had 4 jobs.
-A day at The Lantern selling several hundred dollars in popcorn, coffee and film tickets then did all the resulting popcorn/coffee making/serving and of course resulting dishes for ten hours during the busiest night of the Spokane International Film Festival (SpIFF)... luckily with help from a backup barista for most of it. (Although the coverage guy was an hour late! I coulda killed him if I didnt need his help so badly)
-Coordinating between the volunteers, the volunteer coordinators and the film festival directors, and helping as a backup projectionist for changes, emergency problem solving and hospitality for the crowds when things didnt go smoothly.
-Radio show. I had no idea what I was playing and my co-host called in the afternoon (the SUPER BUSY AFTERNOON OF DOOM.. because this is all in one day) to say she had a family emergency and was in Olympia.
-Sneaking away from behind the counter at The Magic Lantern, during CRAZY crowds... to do one-on-one recorded interviews with as many visiting directors as possible. I got four.
Geefwee Boedoe, JP Sniadecki, Michael King and Amanda Pope.
One has one an Emmy, one has two films at the festival that he wrote/directed/produced for his Doctorate thesis at Harvard, one just got nominated for an Oscar for a film where his name alone is under more than 80% of the credits and another is a tenured professor at USC and longtime official documentarian for PBS.
Uh.....
What a day!!
But what I really wanted to do was sleep in and go bowling for the KYRS Big Lebowski bowling/drinking/costume party night..
But I guess a day at SpIFF was exciting enough to tide me over;)
That was Saturday.
Sunday? Sunday I found out I was being laid off from The Magic Lantern starting next week.
Friday I get a paycheck for every hour worked. Bye, bye.
.....
Oh.
.......
Can I cry? Is it allowed if I still want to be a 'trooper'?
I knew money was not coming. I knew business was not booming. (SpIFF is busy,.. our theater is rented by SpIFF.. so dont assume the crowds Im talking about are all pouring their pockets into the arthouse theater itself.. except by buying popcorn and cake) and I was too busy working there 60 hours a week most weeks to get as much promotion work done as I would have liked.. or organized more benefits... plus I felt that the owner wasn't as interested in my ideas or even discussing most of them. He needed someone to work for practically no pay but a title. So.. I guess I just did that. Man, I loved it every day! EVERY day!
Anyways. I have one week and one paycheck left.
O! I am SAD!
I am trying not to worry. Be proactive. Enjoy. Figure something else out. Find a way back to this.
Thats.. possible, right?
Wax Tailor's version of 'Que Sera Sera' is a perfect bittersweet song for how I feel right now.
Any of youts wanna hire me? Im good at smiling and getting work done in magical ways.
Also: 3 days ago my dashboard found a new light to show me. "Check Engine Soon". I tried to explain to my car that that costs money, but it doesn't understand me.
What do you think it all MEANS?
Did I tell the story how my car started working the day I put a new alternator.. in the trunk? Thats how my life works.